How can I find peace after a toxic relationship?

This article will show what are the best ways you can find peace after you have gotten out of a toxic relationship.

How can I find peace after a toxic relationship? 

Getting out of a toxic relationship is extremely difficult, you may find it hard to get some peace afterward. At first, you may begin to feel a huge sense of relief. But getting over it can take a lot longer than you have imagined. There may be a lot of scars and matters to deal with. 

But you should know that it won’t go on forever. So here are the best ways for you to find yourself some peace after you end a toxic relationship.

Get help 

It may be extremely important to get professional help as you get out of a toxic relationship. Those forms of relationship usually take a lot of you, emotionally, and even physically. Having someone that will help you process what you have just been through may be essential.

A therapist may offer you a safe space, where you won’t feel judged. There you can talk about everything. And even though you consider that you should just be over your toxic partner, therapy will show it is not like that.

It is not because we know that a relationship is not good, that we are over it from one moment to the next. So taking the time to talk about it, and dealing with it may give you a huge sense of peace.

Cut all contact 

When you are out of a toxic relationship, it may be essential that you cut all forms of contact with the person. It is hard to break the toxic pattern, and you may have gathered all your willpower to get out of this relationship. 

If you don’t cut contact with them, it may be that in a moment’s impulse you will try to get in touch with them again. And from that, going back to the toxic patterns is a quick slide. It may be difficult to not know what is happening in your former partner’s life, but consider that the priority at this moment is your well-being.

Forgive yourself 

As you come out of a toxic relationship, and you realize all you have been through, you may begin to ask yourself how come you allow yourself to take so much from that relationship. You may begin to blame yourself and add to the low self-esteem that the toxic relationship left you with.

You should try to forgive yourself, and keep in mind that people can go through toxic relationships, but what is important is that you managed to get yourself out of it.

Try to understand what went wrong 

As you are out of a toxic relationship, going through what happened is something that will often give you peace. You may want to discover why you got into that toxic relationship, and what made it so difficult to get out of it. So allow yourself to go through the memories, but don’t keep yourself locked in them for too long.

Focus on yourself 

A toxic relationship can take a lot from you. It can drain you emotionally. After it, you can feel your self-esteem is not the same, and you may have also lost touch with who you are. As you are looking to find some peace after the relationship, you may want to focus on yourself.

Care for yourself physically, and emotionally. Do things that will make you feel good, and get in touch, little by little, with the person you are. Finding peace after a toxic relationship implies feeling whole on your own, so take the time to get to that.

Try to understand your relationship patterns 

When we are part of a toxic relationship, it may be because there are patterns inside us that have pushed us to that, or made us have trouble leaving the toxic relationship behind. Sometimes this can go back to our childhood. So it may take some work to know how you get attached to people.

To help you understand your patterns it may be, once again, important that you go to therapy. It may be a difficult process, but understanding what happened may be extremely important to help you move past those patterns, and find peace. That is also what will allow you to have healthier relationships in the future.

Rediscover who you are

All the process up until this point is based on you learning more and more about yourself. That is because being in a toxic relationship you sometimes even lose touch with the reality of matters. To take so much from a partner, you may have blinded yourself, or silenced yourself too much.

You may begin to feel at peace when you can feel like yourself again. Like you don’t need to go beyond your boundaries and be silent about it. Being at peace means you know more about who you are, your likes, and your dislikes. And that those are no longer connected to the person you had a relationship with.

As you rediscover yourself the way you see relationships will change. It may be great to have someone, but you may learn that having someone you love is not what defines who you are.

Don’t close yourself 

As you begin to feel peace and feel you are healed, be sure to not close yourself up. It may be scary to meet new people. You may not trust your judgment and feel like you will fall for a toxic relationship at any moment.

But if you take the steps to find peace, and heal, it is not the same anymore. And maybe more aware of yourself, and others, which will allow you to step back from possible toxic relationships.

Know that not all relationships will be traumatic as your last one and that it is possible to be in a relationship that won’t be toxic. Take it slow, but don’t close yourself to the love that is coming.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How can I find peace after a toxic relationship? 

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

Some signs will often help you understand that you are in a toxic relationship. Not all of them will lead to physical abuse, sometimes they can happen when you and your partner don’t respect each other, or even if the two of you feel like you don’t know each other anymore.

If you feel that the two of you have stopped prioritizing the relationship, and have simply given up putting in the effort for it, it may be a sign that it is not a healthy relationship anymore, and the two of you are just going through the motions.

In a toxic relationship, there will also be a chance that neither of you is open to taking responsibility for your actions, which can often lead the two of you to play a never-ending blame game. When a relationship reaches this point, there will be no more intimacy, and you stop being each other’s priority.

A toxic relationship is one in which one of the partners is extremely controlling of the other. And if they are not willing to discuss, adapt, or make compromises, it is a sign of a toxic relationship. Finally, it is a clear sign of a toxic relationship if there is any abuse in it, be it physical, or emotional.

Can a toxic relationship change?

Yes, a toxic relationship can change. But this will mainly depend on how the partners view the relationship and are willing to work on it. A toxic relationship can only turn into a positive relationship when the two parties agree that what is happening is not healthy, and there are some adjustments to be made.

To work on that relationship, the two of you can go to couple’s therapy, and through that process maybe you can rediscover the value that this relationship has to both of you.  

It is also important that the two of you learn how to communicate better, and focus on doing things in a way that takes the relationship, and your partner into consideration.

Can an abusive relationship lead to PTSD?

Yes, an abusive relationship can be something that will cause a person to develop PTSD. An abusive relationship can be perceived as a traumatic situation by the person that is in it. Leaving in a reality in which they are constantly overlooked, or mistreated, can be as traumatic as other experiences.

That is why getting out of a traumatic relationship can’t be taken lightly. As you get out of one, it is not just going back to being happy. There will be a bunch of traumatic experiences that you will still need to process. So go easy on yourself, and little by little you will find your way back to happiness.

Why is it so hard to get out of a toxic relationship?

It is a known fact that getting out of a toxic relationship is no simple thing. For that, you will often need to come to terms that this is not healthy and that in itself can take a lot of work. 

Aside from that, even when you realize this is a toxic relationship, you will still have in your mind many of the happy, and wonderful times the two of you have shared.

That is because a toxic relationship often happens in a cycle. Before things turn negative, they will usually be extremely loving. If your partner is abusive, this is known as the love bombing moment. In it, they will show you how much they care, and it is in this phase that you may start to think they have changed.

But a while after, the new cycle of abuse begins, and as you face what has happened, you will begin to think it is time to get out. And as you do, they begin to apologize, and love bomb you again. Leading to this endless cycle of abuse.

How can a toxic relationship affect my mental health?

A toxic relationship can be extremely detrimental to your mental health. It can often lead you to become anxious since you will always be worried about the next bad thing happening. It can also make you depressed over time, and paranoid. As said before, toxic relationships can also lead you to experience PTSD.

Conclusion 

This article showed what are the best ways you can find peace after you have gotten out of a toxic relationship.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://www.bonobology.com/find-peace-after-toxic-relationship/

Moving on After a Toxic Relationship