How to help someone with depression when they push you away?

In this article, we will look at how to help someone with depression when they push you away, what is depression, symptoms of depression, causes of depression and why do depressed people push others away. 

How to help someone with depression when they push you away? 

If you are worried about your loved one being depressed, here are a few ways you can help them even when they push you away: 

  • Help them find the right help
  • Engage in active listening
  • Give them confidence 
  • Do not blame the person struggling 
  • Make an effort not to think about things literally
  • Keep an open mind
  • Engage in self-care

Dealing with a person who is suffering from depression, may not be easy. Every person manifests depression in different forms, to know how to help them, you must first know the desires and the personality of the individual. However, every depressed person can use some basic help. 

Following are a few ways you can help a person who is depressed. 

Help them find the right help

If you know someone who is depressed, the first thing you must do is help them find a mental health professional who can assist their journey by providing certain therapies and medications. Psychologists believe that Cognitive-behavioral Therapy provides the best outcome while dealing with depression. By combining therapy and antidepressants, they believe depression can be cured. So it is essential that you take them to a professional. In any case, if they are pushing you away, try to tell them that you are doing it for them. 

Engage in active listening

Once you know someone is dealing with depression, make sure you listen to them proactively. One of the most impressive things an individual can do is to listen to a friend or family member and let them air their feelings. you should try not to mention to the individual what to feel or how to take care of their issues. Aiding isn’t tied in with offering guidance, as an individual may not have the foggiest idea about the correct exhortation to give except if they have mental health training. Simply listening without judgment can cause the individual of worry to feel comprehended and less alone.

Give them confidence 

It is important that instead of making them feel weak and out of power, you give them some confidence. Confidence that they can fight anything, let alone depression. Make sure you tell them that you stand by their support no matter what and when. This will give them the courage to fight the darkness of depression and come towards the brighter side. 

Do not blame the person struggling 

Remember, people struggling with depression are already living in guilt. You as a friend or family have to try to avoid them for blaming about anything, be it their condition or the consequences of their condition. It is certainly not in their hands that they have fallen prey to the most common mental health disorder of our time. 

Make an effort not to think about things literally

Individuals who are depressed may drive individuals away with the manner in which they act. Irritability, for example, is a typical manifestation. You don’t should be a mat, however, remember that it’s presumably the downturn shading their conduct. Make an honest effort to move past this and backing them in finding support: Don’t desert them completely.

Keep an open mind

You can not help someone with depression if you feel people with depression are faking or lying. You may not know the full story always. The person with depression may go to work, carry out their chores, and do everything on the outside, but you will never know what is going on in their minds. So be open and careful with what you do and say. Reach out to them no matter what and make sure they do not feel lonely. Drop-in a text every now and then asking if they are doing all right. This may make them feel that they are cared for. 

Engage in self-care

Taking care of somebody with depression can feel overpowering and be depleting. Remember that an individual can’t fix another person’s downturn. Likewise, their adored one’s depression isn’t their shortcoming, and they can indeed do a limited amount of a lot. To keep away from burnout, individuals should ensure they make limits and take care of their own psychological health. This can incorporate looking for guiding or conversing with companions about the thing they are encountering, setting aside an effort to themselves, and taking part in unwinding strategies.

What is depression? 

Depression is also known as Major Depressive Disorder is a typical and genuine clinical condition that contrarily influences how you feel, the manner in which you think, and how you act. Luckily, it is likewise treatable. Depression causes sensations of pity or potentially a deficiency of interest in exercises you once appreciated. It can prompt a variety of physical and psychological issues and can diminish your capacity to perform at work and at home.

The word depression is regularly tossed around in ordinary discussion, which bodes well — depression is one of the most pervasive mental health conditions, and it doesn’t discriminate. As indicated by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, in excess of 17 million grown-ups in the United States (pretty much 7% of the populace) have endured a depressive scene in the previous year, including individuals of age groups, everything being equal, identities, and financial foundations.

Symptoms of depression 

Symptoms of depression usually vary from one individual to the other. However, the most prevalent mental disorder of the time has a few basic signs that one can look for. 

Some symptoms and signs of depression include: 

  • Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
  • Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
  • Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
  • Loss of energy or increased fatigue
  • Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, hand-wringing) or slowed movements or speech (these actions must be severe enough to be observable by others)
  • Feeling worthless or guilty
  • Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

Symptoms must last at least two weeks and must represent a change in your previous level of functioning for a diagnosis of depression.

Causes of depression 

There is no definitive cause of depression. This means that depression does not have only one cause. Psychologists and psychiatrists come to believe that depression may be a result of the combination of physical, psychological, and social causes of an individual 

Some causes of depression include

  • The structure of the brain: Individuals with Depression appear to have actual contrasts in their cerebrums from individuals who don’t have depression. 
  • The concentration of brain chemicals: Chemical compounds in your mind called neurotransmitters have an influence on your temperament. At the point when you have depression, it very well may be on the grounds that these chemical compounds aren’t working the manner in which they should. depression is usually known to be a result of a lack of serotonin in the human brain. 
  • Hormones: Your hormone levels change in view of pregnancy, baby blues issues, thyroid issues, menopause
  • , or different reasons. That can set off misery manifestations. 
  • Hereditary qualities:  Specialists haven’t yet discovered the specific gene that may be liable for depression, however, you’re bound to have depression in the event that somebody you’re identified with has it.
  • Traumatic event: In addition to all the above-mentioned causes, what triggers depression is a sudden traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent or close friend, loss of a job, an inconvenient and torturing environment. In addition to this, any sort of childhood trauma too can result in depression. 

Why do depressed people push you away? 

You may have to experience that people with depression usually push others away when they try to help them or are trying to be there for them. 

Here are a few reasons why people with depression usually push others away: 

They have no energy

Remember, people dealing with depression are usually tired and exhausted for no reason whatsoever. Engaging in social situations or inviting a friend over may be very difficult for them. They might have to simple and interact with others. They do not have the energy for this. Hence they might just avoid hanging out with you. 

They get irritated 

Depression can make one have a low resilience level for things – the sickness in itself is overpowering a lot. They may get effortlessly disturbed and irritated. They may even lash out at everyone around, particularly in the event that if someone does things they don’t expect or change things abruptly. Here and there they drive individuals away in light of the fact that they are attempting to prevent themselves from lashing out.

They believe no one wants them around 

Even if this is not true, a symptom of depression is feeling worthless and useless. This might make them feel otherwise. They start to believe that no one wants them around because they cannot seem to comprehend, why someone would want to hang out with them or even continue to be friends with them. Sometimes, even if they do not want to push people away, they might end up doing it, because of their inconsistent beliefs. 

It is easier for them 

Sometimes, it is easier to actually stay by yourself and feel your feelings, rather than putting up a fake smile around people. It’s simpler than washing, figure your hair out, or get dressed. At the point when they are without help from anyone else, they can frequently get themselves to believe that they are alright. In any case, being around others can be a not really welcome token of the way that they are a long way from alright.


In this article, we have looked at how to help someone with depression when they push you away, what is depression, symptoms of depression, causes of depression and why do depressed people push others away. 

FAQs: How to help someone with depression when they push you away? 

Is it possible to diagnose yourself with depression?

You may be able to identify a few symptoms of depression, but self-assessment is not a clinical diagnosis. Sionisong a mental health condition, is the work of a professional who usually puts in several years to learn a particular skill. 

Can depression change your personality?

Certain findings suggest that self-reported personality traits do not change after an episode of depression. However, deeper research is needed to be certain about this. 

What are the different types of depression? 

There are various types of depression.  They are: 

Major depressive disorder
Persistent depressive disorder
Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder
Substance-induced mood disorder
Seasonal depressive Disorder


Depression: Why We Push People Away

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