This article will discuss how being in a relationship with a partner that offers you no support can make you depressed. It will also explain what can be done in this situation.
Having a husband that gives me no support can make me depressed?
Yes, being in a relationship with a husband that gives you no support can make you depressed. It is a known fact that the perception of support, or lack of thereof, has a lot to do with making someone depressed.
When talking about a husband, having a husband that offers you no support can make you have a higher chance of developing depression than someone that doesn’t have a husband. This shows us that being in a relationship that you perceive is not good can be more detrimental to your mental health than being alone.
But why having an unsupportive husband can make you depressed? It can happen for many reasons, feeling like you are sharing your life with someone that doesn’t have your back, that doesn’t prioritize, or even listening to your needs can make you withdraw more and more.
It can affect your sense of self-worth or even your self-esteem. It can make you feel disconnected from your husband, and all of this can make you depressed over time. This has become something so commonly observed in couple’s therapy offices, that it is named unsupportive spouse depression.
And even though depression has been happening more and more often in the general population, studies have shown that between 40-50% of the couples that look for couples therapy will have one of the spouses struggling with depression, showing how the quality of this relationship may impact on the person’s mental health.
This highlights how important it is for a person to have a perception of being in a fulfilled relationship to prevent them from getting depressed.
It doesn’t mean that the relationship has to be perfect, but that it is important to feel that your partner is by your side, even when things are hard. Thinking this also leads to the question of what constitutes a husband that offers no support.
There are many possible answers to that. An unsupportive husband can be one that doesn’t share the same view and goals you have in your life. This can lead you to feel that the two of you are walking on different paths, which ultimately makes you feel like your husband doesn’t support you.
It can also be a husband that has a pattern of risky behaviors. So a husband that uses alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even cheats can be perceived as one that doesn’t offer you support.
It can also be too focused on their work, leaving little time or energy for them to invest in the relationship, and to listen to your, and your family’s needs.
You may feel your husband is unsupportive if they are working towards a dream of their own. This can make them so focused on that goal, that all the rest, including you, feels less important. An unsupportive husband can be, on the contrary, someone that doesn’t stand by your side, cheering you on, as you try to pursue your dreams.
If you feel that you are in a relationship in which you have no support from your husband, and this is affecting your mental health, it may be important to find ways to cope with it. So let’s discuss what can be done.
What can I do so I don’t get depressed because of an unsupportive husband?
If you feel that your husband is showing you no support and that this is impacting your mental health, this is what you can do.
Talk it out
The first thing to do, when you feel your husband is not supportive, and this is making you depressed, is to talk about it with them. Let them know that you are feeling unsupported, and tell them how this has been making you feel.
If you are depressed, let them know how depression has been making you feel, if you have looked for treatment, and how you need them to support you through that. State clearly what your needs are if you need them to accompany you to the doctor’s appointment or if you need them to help you with the house chores.
Sometimes, it may be hard for your husband to understand what your needs are when you are depressed. So being clear in that communication will allow them to understand you better.
Look for professional help
But in some cases, you may feel like there are some problems in your relationship that are hard to deal with on your own. In that case, it may be important to look for professional help. Going to couples therapy can help the two of you address that matter.
It will allow you to talk about how you feel, and what has been happening in your relationship to make you feel this way. Having a third person to listen to, can help the two of you to consider better strategies to cope, it will give your husband to show their support in new ways, and for you to feel supported by them in this process.
During couple’s therapy, it is common that the therapist will ask about the quality of your relationship, they will also want to know who else you have as part of your support system, and how depression has been affecting you.
Focus on self-care
Aside from dealing with your relationship, it may be important to focus on your self-care. Don’t expect to deal with depression only through your relationship, but care for yourself, what you eat, drink, and exercise.
Having other meaningful relationships in your life will also help you cope with depression, in the same way as doing things that make you feel fulfilled. With all that, the proper treatment, and a more supportive relationship you may feel better in no time.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Having a husband that gives me no support can make me depressed?
What can I do if I have an unsupportive partner?
If you feel that your partner is not supporting you, instead of screaming at them, you may want to try improving the ways you communicate with them. For that, you need to make sure that they know what you are viewing as a problem, so make sure you let them know you are not happy.
Tell them what is happening clearly, so they don’t misunderstand you. It may be that your partner is unsupportive, but trying to identify what is your responsibility in this can also help. It prevents you from putting all the responsibility on them.
Taking some time to think about what is happening is also essential. And if at any point you feel that the two of you are having trouble with support in your relationship, it may be important to look for external help, meaning that the two of you can look for a couple’s therapist.
With them, you will be able to talk about the matters that are worrying you and try to find a solution.
Can depression make me want to end my relationship?
Yes, in some cases depression may cause you to feel the urge to end your relationship. That is because depression will often make you feel the need to withdraw from others.
You may want to do that because maintaining your focus in a conversation can be difficult, but also because you may feel ashamed of how you are feeling, and behaving, and you don’t want other people to see it.
How can I help my wife who is depressed?
If your wife is depressed, you may want to show her your support. This doesn’t mean that you should try to fix everything, but that you are by their side, and open to listening to them.
You can also make sure that you help her in whatever her needs are. It may be helping her around the house, or even accompanying her to doctor’s appointments.
Does depression have a cure?
No, depression doesn’t have a cure. Because it has a genetic factor to it, it is impossible to say that you won’t ever get depressed again in your lifetime. But it is possible that you feel better from your depressive state. And when this happens, the doctors will tell you that you are in remission.
Being in remission means that you may have gained back control over your life, and emotions. It also means that you can be interested in things again and that you can feel joy.
What you need to keep in mind, when you are in remission, is that it is still important to keep caring for your mental health. It is only through this that you will be able to try to prevent a possible relapse.
What are the types of depression?
Depression can happen in four forms. It can be mild, moderate, major, or even persistent. As the name says, the first one will cause the person to experience mild symptoms. It will also not go on for long, and some adjustments in the person’s lifestyle will often be enough for them to feel better.
Moderate depression causes the person to have more intense symptoms than mild depression, and they can go on for longer. It is in moderate depression that the person will begin to feel that the condition is impacting their life. And to cope with it, they will likely need therapy, and in some cases, they can also need medication.
Major depression is the most intense form of depression. In it, the person will experience depressive symptoms with such intensity that doing the simplest things, such as getting out of bed can seem impossible.
In major depression, aside from the common depressive symptoms, the person can also experience hallucinations, or even become delusional. To treat major depression it is often necessary for the person to go to therapy, and take medication. The same is true in cases of persistent depression.
That is because this type of depression will make the person swing between moments of mild, and major depression, and each episode can last for as long as 5 years. Making it important to have the proper treatment.
This article showed how having an unsupportive husband can make you depressed. It also explained the best ways for you to deal with your husband that offers no support to prevent yourself from getting depressed.
If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.