Giving up the fight: Depression (how to start afresh)

In the following article we will discuss the topic “Giving up the fight: Depression” and ways to deal with the emotional turmoil caused due to depression on a person at their mental rock-bottom where they have totally lost hope and given up the fight.

Giving up the fight?

Depression can be exhaustive. It can make you so tired that you would want to give up the fight and end up reaching the rock bottom. Before that let us understand what the rock bottom is.

 It is not a place which can be redirected by google map. 

“Hitting rock bottom” is a phrase that almost everyone has heard when talking about the topic of addiction. Generally, rock bottom refers to a time or an event in life that causes an addict to reach the lowest possible point when he or she feels like things cannot get worse for them.

When depression drags you to rock bottom, you experience a dull feeling of blue. You are isolated from the world around you. You give up on the daily activities you did, maybe at times brushing, bathing, eating. You do not see any hope to carry yourself forward in life and may think of suicide too. It is very unfortunate that you did not seek any help until now. But now that you finally think of getting some help from the internet, a step by step self-help process can be provided to you for the time being. I hope this is helpful.

These are some mental restructuring coping strategies which can help you buckle up and start anew : 

Reflection and Realization

The first step is to become conscious about what is happening, accepting your depression. You have to ask yourself what exactly dragged you to this condition. You reflect back to those life choices which you think are no more sustainable. You try to realize your state of darkness and acknowledge the fact that whatever you are in no more deserves your potential. 

You start questioning everything that you see is happening around you. You question your motives, other people’s motives, your beliefs, your fears, why you did things, why you didn’t do things, why you succeeded, why you failed. 

Answering these questions will make you conscious of what you can and cannot control. You will realize your faults by analyzing a situation to its core. You also find a reason for your dissatisfaction towards your life. This will help you think of possible solutions and ways to handle your problem.

Therefore, reflection and realization will bring you clarity.

Attending to your dysfunctional behaviors

One of the pros of hitting rock bottom is the fact that you start noticing your dysfunctional behaviors or those environmental factors which are the reasons behind these kinds of behaviors. If you have never hit this point, probably you would have ignored these, plying out under the denial radar and inevitably creating bigger problems. 

You have to pay more attention to your dysfunctional behaviors or those factors which are the reasons behind your behaviors. Attending these will make you more conscious about your present state. 

Therefore, attending to your problem behaviours will make you aim for your betterment and find a new way to look at yourself.

Gaining Fresh Perspective

Based on the renewed sense of clarity that you are gradually achieving through questioning, you can start off with a fresh perspective to know yourself and people around you.

Self-awareness of Bad Habits & Behavior

At times we are so involved in making us content that we forget about our flaws and bad habits. We become unconscious about our own deeds which can be the reasons behind being a failure or losing relations. 

Rock bottom is where you have reached the lowest position of being hopeful and now that you have to take a turn upwards needs self-awareness and conscious determination. It is more important to be aware of your bad habits and behaviors than anything else. Hitting rock bottom is not inevitable but it is a necessity because  those behaviors were simply not conducive to your growth.

This is different from the first idea of “reflection and realization”. There you were introspecting and discovering the reasons behind why you reached such a point. Then you attended to those behaviours. Now is the time to accept it, be aware of it throughout and manage it all by yourself. Self-awareness is the ability that you have to be adept at to accept your bad habits. 

Trusting in Life

Faith is one of the most pure emotions a person can nurture to make them happy and content. When depression drags you to hit the bottom you would lose all hope and faith. I should remind you trust is an energy that never dies. You have it within yourself, deep inside which has to be poked and called upon. For that you have to eradicate your ego. You can only kill your ego if you realize that whatever you thought you would achieve in life is not going to happen until you have the foundation to successfully accomplish  those things.  you start to trust life and choose to live in the moment more often. As you surrender to your higher self more and more, you align with your right purpose and right life path. And it feels good.

Humility

The tricks of life are not easily decipherable. Life is not black and white and you do not know everything. You start realizing that you have to be modest and grounded  to the various stimuli and not react to them immediately. You have to start realizing that you know very little and become a student of life and not a juror.

Compassion

With humility comes compassion. You know what it is like to experience the rock bottom. Now you look at yourself from a third person’s eye and you cannot see yourself stuck at that grave point. You have to let yourself out and fly high. You have to empathize and help those who are in that condition. You will start gaining compassion and love for yourself and  others. 

Letting Go

To hold on to bad experiences is the most deadly habit one person can ever have. Life is so short. If you spend half your life just holding onto things, you can never enjoy it. With every step you will get stuck at some point in your past and never come back. Life will become a place filled with negativity and darkness. 

With clarity and all the above qualities you will start letting go of the old ideas and beliefs which are no more working. You will broaden your mind towards new ideas, people, opportunities, talents and experiences. As you empty your cup, so to speak, you fill it back up with stuff that you actually want, instead of accepting what was unconsciously passed onto you. Life hands you a fresh cup of reality.

Taking Responsibility

You begin to start taking responsibility for all the outcomes in life rather than blaming others. You will start accepting all that has happened to you  and no more complaining or blame. You realize it was your and your mind who created all the good and bad in your life. You have dug the hole where you got trapped, now you yourself will be dragging yourself up, finally being the savior of your own life. 

Gratitude

Gratitude is the most powerful gift one can ever give to others and most importantly to their own self. 

Your journey from hitting rock bottom would end with the exchange of gratitude. You will have to start with basic contributions such as praising yourself for the littlest of things, encouraging yourself for being able to do away with your bad habits, paying gratitude to yourself for being courageous enough to get out of the dark phase of life and stand with your head held high.

 Your existence is a constant prayer of gratitude to the universe and to yourself for having the courage to move beyond hard times and choose life when you could have chosen a number of other options just to make the pain go away. 

Your darkest times have given you things like depth, wisdom, courage which cannot be learned anywhere else. Look back and evaluate those dark times; try to create a positive outlook towards it. Thank yourself for making it possible for you to win the challenges of life. 

Lastly the most pure, simple and basic thing that you can nurture to make your life happening is to believe that “Joy is the simplest form of gratitude” – Karl Barth.

Some real life experiences

In this section we will look at how people who have once reached rock bottom due to depression could finally fight off  their dark times. 

Eva has been suffering from depression since she was 29. She had a relationship with her long term partner for 12 years. For almost 2 years she faced issues of conception. She and her partner had put a lot of effort into getting treatment and starting a family of three but alas! She faced a lot of trouble at her workplace too. Gradually she felt very isolated and started cutting connections from friends and families. Her husband did not know what was happening and got frustrated too. They got divorced making Eva reach rock bottom. She did not lose hope. She started working on herself . got herself treated by a therapist. She even incorporated discipline and self love which helped her cope and fight back. 

A 10 year old girl was a victim to sexual abuse. She said her life changed from that moment till now even in her 20s. She cannot get over that horrifying moment even after 10 years of effort towards recovery. She thinks hope is the only thing she can have faith in and carry her life forward. She believes if you are hopeful you can get over anything. 

She says “The one thing that really shines through for me when writing this is the hope I feel. Because it takes a whole lot of strength and a whole lot of guts to fight your way out of feeling utterly hopeless, and to change that to feeling to one of hope.

And my biggest hope, is that everyone finds their way and chooses to STAY”

Debbie shares her story of fighting off bipolar depression and anxiety. She tells that she had hid rock bottom at a point of time but could rebuild herself by setting the bar high and becoming the best possible version of herself. She had faced three major hardships in her life after which she started having suicidal thoughts. The loss of her father and thereafter her job made her numb. She did not lose hope. When she hit rock bottom she knew the only way to recover is to set simple goals like to work on her assertiveness, to do the emotional work that could help build her skills where she was lacking. She narrated : “I used to put myself down, beat myself up, and be hard on myself. I learned to stop with all of that and to become a source of unconditional love for myself and others”.The biggest resource that she used to heal herself is her determination for work as she goes : “My own personal development was an interest, a hobby, and a way of healing—which I spent five years and many thousands of dollars pursuing. I am highly grateful to have done this work; it’s been rewarding, liberating, and validating.” 

  Conclusion

From the article above we got to discuss the topic “Giving up the fight: Depression” and ways to overcome depression. We also got to hear about people’s way of dealing with depression.

FAQs: “Giving up the fight”: Depression 

References :

https://www.bphope.com/blog/rebuilding-after-hitting-rock-bottom-bipolar-depression/

Depression-From Rock Bottom To Ireland-My Story

https://rockbottomlanding.com/