Girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me(What to do?)

Girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me(What to do?)

In this article, we will try to answer your query on ‘what to do if your girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me?’. We also look at different ways to help your loved ones who are struggling with depression

What to do if your girlfriend is depressed and broke up with you?

Have you ever been in a relationship where your girlfriend is depressed and broke up with you? If yes, then you are on the right page.

In the following section, we will guide you through what to do if your girlfriend is depressed and broke up with you.

Sadly, you cannot do much. Once your girlfriend has broken up with you, you can not force her to be with you. The best thing you can do is to maintain the distance she has asked for.  You might really want to be there with her to help her, but you cannot do anything to change her mind.

Try to understand their perspective

It might be difficult to visualize but think about it this way. Imagine that your shoulder is in a ton of pain and your girlfriend is trying to help you. No matter what she does, it’s not enough. Weeks go by and the pain hasn’t gotten any better. As a matter of fact, it’s gotten even worse. Because of perpetuating pain, you’re starting to feel a bit annoyed at yourself and even your girlfriend. It’s not her fault, but the pain is making you feel frustrated and confused.

Inside you, you build up all these pent-up emotions that have been in you for weeks and you can’t successfully project them anywhere. As a result of unexpressed emotions, you get irritated by your girlfriend over little things and express yourself in a negative way.

Depression works in a similar way. It often consists of unexpressed emotions that have built up over time. Eventually, as the intensity of repressed emotions increases, a depressed person starts pushing people away, even those close to them. A depressed person doesn’t have the capacity to fulfill their own emotional needs, let alone yours so they start to distance themselves from you to focus inwardly.

Once he comes to the conclusion that they are better off without you, and finally decide to take a leap of fate and make some “healthy” adjustments. They tell you they feel depressed and that they need some space to think things over. In other words—they feel as if you’re weighing them down.

Once you understand their situation, give them space.

Remember, they did not break up with you because they do not love you. Be there for them when asked for. If after the break up they ask you to meet them, do not ignore them. It might be difficult for you to face them, but let’s not forget they too have hit their rock bottom. If not as a partner be there for them as a friend.

Side Note: I grew this blog to over 500,000 monthly pageviews and it now finances our charitable missions. If you are looking to start a blog as a source of income or to help your community then view our how to start a blog guide.

What is it like for your girlfriend who is depressed and broke up with you?

Oftentimes, in today’s times, depression leads to break up. We have heard quite frequently that My girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me.  They usually say it’s not you, it’s me.   if you start thinking that your girlfriend broke up with you and is unable to love you because of her depression, you need to tread carefully.

Depression is serious and the most common mood disorder. A person dealing with depression for the past few months has lived through hell on earth. if your girlfriend is depressed, she probably may feel worthless about herself. She may think of herself as a burden and would want you to be free. Feelings of self-doubt and depression go hand in hand.  On the other hand, your girlfriend would also feel suffocated and tired in the relationship. If she breaks up with you, for this reason, you should remember to let her go.  If not you only add to her misery.

Remember she is not using it as an excuse. Your girlfriend is breaking up with you, only if she thinks it will make her feel better. Breaking up with you is her defense mechanism,

Your girlfriend doesn’t think that you can’t help her or that you can’t be there for her. She understands that you are willing to go an extra mile for her. Moreover, your girlfriend knows you are willing to stick with her through good and bad times. Unfortunately, your girlfriend might not feel that way. Depressed people feel the necessity to seclude themselves from their loved ones and spend as much time alone as they can. They believe they can work on their betterment alone, without having to concentrate on anything else. This common instinct compels depressed people to break up with their long-term partners.

In fact, it is a common instinct to distance ourselves from others when we are struggling in any way. Breaking up because of depression is more common than we think. Depression is so peculiar couples break up because of it and also get back together for exactly the same reason.

To the person who was, a depressed ex-girlfriend can feel like a double-edged sword. The dumped person contemplates “I feel bad for my ex. Do I help her or back off?” If you come too close you get cut, distance yourself too much and you risk losing him.

How to help your loved one with depression?

Before we learn how to help someone with depression, it is important to know the symptoms of depression.

Symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder include:

  •   Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts and irritability
  •   Insomnia or hypersomnia
  •    Loss of interest in normal daily activities (sports, interests, even sexual activity)
  •      Significant weight loss or weight gain due to changes in appetite
  •     Psychomotor agitation (restlessness) or retardation (slowed down)
  •     Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
  •     Difficulty thinking or concentrating or indecisiveness nearly every day
  • Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent thoughts of suicide, or a suicide attempt or suicide plan
  • Symptoms cause impairment in social and occupational functioning.

5 Ways to Help your loved one with depression

People with depression might not acknowledge that they’re struggling. Lack of awareness about symptoms of depression can cause people to consider their feelings normal or dismiss them as a time-limited struggle. The stigma of seeking treatment for depression can also cause people to attempt to overcome treatment independently. Here are 5 ways to make sure your loved one is taken care of.

Encourage Treatment

Depression is difficult to get better without treatment, and it can actually worsen over time. Research shows that both antidepressant medications and cognitive therapy are effective in alleviating symptoms. Other treatments include interpersonal therapy, electroconvulsive therapy, and neurofeedback.

It can be difficult to encourage treatment, particularly if the person doesn’t acknowledge the depression. It helps to consider some talking points:

  •  Share what you’ve noticed and talked about why you’re concerned.
  •      Suggest a physical with a general practitioner as a first step to rule out any other medical issues that might cause the symptoms
  •     Explain what you’ve learned about the symptoms of depression and how depression can negatively impact people
  •    Offer to accompany your loved one for the physical and to any other appointments
  •   Help your loved one prepare a list of questions to ask the doctor or psychotherapist

 Practice Compassionate Listening

If your loved one tends to internalize emotions, he or she might feel overwhelmed when you share your concerns about possible symptoms of depression. The best thing you can do at the moment is use active listening. Your loved one’s depression is not for you to fix, but being present and listening to your loved one talk can help that person feel heard and understood.

Use these phrases

  •  I am here for you
  •  You’re not alone in this
  •  I might not understand exactly how you feel right now, but I want to help you
  •  Tell me what I can do to help

Avoid using these kinds of phrases:

  • This is just a phase; it will pas
  • Everyone feels this way sometimes
  •  Why can’t you see the positive?
  • Snap out of it
  • The more you think about it, the worse you will feel
  • Think about all the great things in your life!

More often than not, sitting in silence and use nonverbal cues to communicate support is more helpful than trying to find the perfect words.

 Offer Assistance with Daily Tasks

Depression can make everyday tasks, like driving and grocery shopping, feel impossible. Ask your loved one how you can help in small ways:

  • Help schedule appointments
  • Provide a ride to and from appointments
  • Grocery shop and do other tasks with your friend
  •  Offer to take walks together a few times a week
  • Ask if you can help around the house
  •  Offer to go watch movies or get out of the house together

Recognize a Crisis and Respond

The risk of suicide exists at all times during major depressive episodes. The most consistent risk factor is a past history of suicide attempts, but most completed suicides are not preceded by unsuccessful attempts. Living alone, being male, and having prominent feelings of hopelessness also increase the risk of suicide.

If you believe your loved one is at risk of suicide, do not leave that person alone. Dial 9-1-1 and stay with your loved one.

 Take Care of Yourself

Caring for a loved one with depression can be complicated and overwhelming. Be sure to attend to your own personal needs, create appropriate boundaries, and seek help from a therapist or support group.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

Conclusion

In this article, we have tried to answer your query on what to do if the girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me. we also looked at different ways to help your loved ones who are struggling through depression.

FAQs: Girlfriend is depressed and broke up with me.

Can a relationship cause a mental breakdown?

Yes, certain unhealthy relationships, such as co-dependent relationships or relationships that involve domestic violence, can cause secondary mental health issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.” They are also likely to increase stressors.

Why are breakups so hard?

Break ups are hard because you lose a person that you trusted the most and relied on. You lose your confidence and the love of your life. A person who was once your everything, suddenly out of nowhere becomes a stranger. It leads to extreme sadness and anxiety.

Will my ex come back when no longer depressed?

 It is possible for your ex to come back when no longer depressed. Once they feel better and want back what they lost, they might try to make amends.

References

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-help-someone-with-depression-1065117

Avatar

Daniela Paez is a Clinical Psychologist with an MSc. In Clinical Neuropsychology from Bangor University. She has vast experience in working with children with disabilities, adolescents and their families, in extreme conditions of poverty and vulnerability. Additionally, she owns a private practice where she provides neuropsychological evaluation for children and adults, and treatment for mood disorders, anxiety, couple therapy, among other conditions.