Girlfriend cheated and got pregnant (what to do?)

In this blog post, we will look at what to do if the girlfriend cheated and got pregnant? , rates of infidelity and why women cheat.  

What to do if the girlfriend cheated and got pregnant? 

If you have been cheated on by your girlfriend or wife there are three things you can do: 

  • Stick together 
  • Breaking up 
  • Take a break 

Stick Together: This is certainly the most difficult thing to do. Seeing the person who did the cheating every day, and rebuilding trust and intimacy on that footing, can rip open the wound afresh on a regular basis. To heal those wounds properly, you may need to consider some outside help. Start by looking into couples counselling.a trained professional can help guide you through the tricky period ahead and keep you both honest and thoughtful of one another. Trying to reignite the sexual side of the relationship too quickly can lead to some very negative feelings and can overwhelm whatever love remains. 

It’s a long, difficult road back to normal after infidelity is introduced to a relationship, and you need to keep an eye on the distant but ultimately possible healing ahead. Remember it is not impossible. 

Breaking up: This may seem the most obvious and easiest choice—and in some ways it is. The trust has been broken between you and your partner, and for many men, this is just too much damage to repair. But, don’t let the ease of the choice sway you too much. Walking away comes with its own struggles. And just because you end it doesn’t mean you won’t have all those negative emotions and troubles going forward with someone new.

 Here too you will have to take things slowly. Try an engage in self-care activities that can help you deal with both the breakup and infidelity. 

Take a break:  Sometimes, all you need is a chance to breathe. The least your partner can do is give you a little more time to decide on a permanent solution. It may be that you just need the chance to see how the world looks without her to decide whether she’s worth returning to or not. In which case, go out, try to have fun, try to meet people, and then make a decision. Although remember to end up like Ross and Rachel from the  American sitcom Friends. 

If you have found out that your girlfriend or wife cheated and got pregnant, but you still love her, then you should: 

  • Take some time off 
  • Talk to her about it 
  • Break up is not the only option 
  • Raise the child with her 
  • Do not blame yourself 
  • Abort the child 
  • Go to a professional 

However, if you are in a relationship that is already on its edge you should consider ending the relationship. 

Getting cheated on is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. Not only does it leave you heartbroken, but it makes you question your own self. If you have ever been cheated on, it is quite normal for you to start questioning your self-worth. You wonder what was that you could not give her, that she had to go to someone else for it. 

Even though it is heartbreaking, sometimes you can see that it was only a slip-up and your girlfriend or wife is extremely sorry about it. We all make mistakes. Some are small and some are as huge as cheating on your partners. But it is you who has to judge if it is worth to forgive your girlfriend or wife. There are times when you can forgive her and work things out. This is better for you and the baby that is coming soon. Sometimes love is forgiving enough. 

Here are things you can do if you plan to stick together: 

  • Take some time off: The first thing you need to do is take some time off. You have been betrayed by the person you love. Your mind is probably panicking and does not know how to process this betrayal of trust. Whatever you are feeling right now is not only painful but also confusing. A part of you wants to save the relationship and the other part just cannot see how you can ever trust her again. But if you really loved your girlfriend or wife, it’ll be hard to figure out what is the right decision for you. And interacting with her is just going to make it more confusing. So, your first step should be taking some time off from her. Find a safe place for yourself. 
  • Talk to her about it: if you ever find yourself in such a situation, it is very important that you never jump to conclusions. Once you have learnt that your girlfriend or wife cheated on you and got pregnant, you cannot just leave things off. You have to get yourself to have the difficult conversation. Talk to her and find out what she feels about all this. Does she want to raise the baby with you? Or Does she want to go with the person she cheated with on you? Ask her if she still loves you and wants to continue the relationship. And more importantly, ask her why would she take such a drastic step of cheating on you. Talking to her will give you some clarity on what she wants, facilitating your decisions. 
  • Break up is not the only option: Getting cheated on can make you angry. Human beings in anger are no less than animals. We do not think before acting. So it is important to realise that if you get cheated on, breaking up is not the only option. After talking it out, you realise that you love each other deeply, to let go of this mistake, then you should find a way to work things out. 
  • Raise the child with her: This may not be easy for you, but you have to do this for the innocent soul coming into the world. The little human has done nothing wrong. He/she certainly deserves the love of her father unconditionally no matter what were the circumstances when it was conceived. If you have forgiven your girlfriend, then go on with living like a happy family. 
  • Do not blame yourself: No matter what’s gone down, it’s never your fault that someone cheated on you. People do hurtful things for a whole bunch of reasons – and maybe your partner can explain theirs – but those reasons have nothing to do with you. It can be really hard to remember this, but it’s super-important. So, we’ll say it again: you are not to blame.
  • Abort the child: Be very careful here. If you and your girlfriend or wife want to stay together but do not want the child, you certainly have the option of abortion. However make sure, this is your girlfriend’s decision. Having a child or aborting it is always the decision of the mother and you will have a minimum say in it.  Do not try to impose your decision on her. If the two of you want different things, it is better to part ways. 
  • Go to a professional: Professional psychologists recommend talking to someone as an important part of moving on from cheating. Whether you do it together with your partner or solo, getting an expert opinion from someone outside the situation can be a game-changer for healing.

Rates of infidelity  

Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep profound, meaningful secrets from a committed primary partner.

According to the infidelity statistics, about 40% of unmarried relationships and 25% of marriages see at least one incident of infidelity. A recent data gathered from the General Social Survey says that  20% of the interviewed men and 13% of women admitted they had sex with someone other than their spouse while married.

Perhaps most shocking though, are the infidelity figures for the UK. 

Almost 45 per cent of British men admit to cheating on their significant other at least once while a considerable 21 per cent of UK women said the same.

The above statistics show that women have a lower rate at infidelity than men. But do women cheat less than men because it’s actually part of our nature? Or is it social conditioning and what we think we’re expected to do?

Michele Binswanger, a journalist r believes it’s the latter.

She says “Women are known to be more sensitive to social pressure than men and there has always been more pressure on proper sexual behaviour on women. Also they traditionally had fewer opportunities because they were more likely to stay at home with the kids.”

After all, if you’re not getting out and meeting potential partners for a torrid love affair, there’s less chance of you having one.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

6 reasons why women cheat 

Typically, females step out on a committed partner for one or more of the following reasons:

  • They feel underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. They feel more like a housekeeper, nanny, or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. So they seek an external situation that validates them for who they are, rather than the services they perform.
  • They crave intimacy. Women tend to feel valued and connected to a significant other more through non-sexual, emotional interplay talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc. than sexual activity. When they’re not feeling that type of connection from their primary partner, they may seek it elsewhere.
  • They are lonely. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely, and they seek connection through infidelity to fill the void. 
  • They expect too much from a primary relationship. Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.
  • They are responding to or re-enacting early-life trauma and abuse. Sometimes women who experienced profound early-life (or adult) trauma, especially sexual trauma, will re-enact that trauma as a way of trying to master or control it. 
  • They’re not having enough satisfying sex at home. But plenty of women also enjoy sex, and if they’re not getting it at home, or it’s not enjoyable to them, for whatever reason, they may well seek it elsewhere.

Conclusion 

In this blog post, we have looked at what to do if the girlfriend cheated and got pregnant? , rates of infidelity and why women cheat. 

FAQs: Girlfriend cheated and got pregnant 

Will a cheating girlfriend cheat again?

People do change, but it’s also important to acknowledge patterns. It may be that your partner has cheated in past relationships when things have started to get serious, in which case they may have commitment issues. It’s worth noting that not everybody who has cheated in the past will cheat again!

How common is cheating during pregnancy?

A study suggests that 1 in 10 men cheat when their spouses are pregnant with their child. 

Should I forgive a cheater?

It’s hard to let go of those feelings. Nonetheless, forgiving someone for cheating will actually benefit the faithful person more than the cheater. It can help you get off a burden and can act as a closure. You should try to forgive someone for cheating, but only once you understand what forgiveness means and how you can achieve it.

What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues

Relationship counselling

  • If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.

LGBTQ issues

If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.

References 

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/break-up-divorce/q402173-my-pregnant-girlfriend-cheated-on-me-what-should

https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/life/615820/infidelity-rates-UK-revealed-shocking

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