Feeling Out of Control (What to do)

Feeling Out of Control – A quick guide to understanding why a person feels like doesn’t have control of the things around.

In this guide, we will discuss why a person is feeling out of control and how can handle the feeling.

Feeling Out of Control

People want to feel they have control of everything around them.

To have control of things is to feel order in life and that everything will go according to the decisions made.

The person when sees that can handle the situations of daily life or any other event that may occur to feels happy, safe and confident.

Many people positively associate being in control.

The control allows them to feel a kind of power and in society, today is what many people aspire to have power over what they can.

World leaders, presidents and business owners are people who have certain levels of control over things that interfere in the lives of many people, that is, their management and decision making influences the lives of others.

In life, there will be times when the person will not have control of certain situations and events, and this is normal.

There are times when the person has to accept that there are things that cannot be changed and that there are factors over which have no control.

This teaches human beings who have no power in everything they do or in what they want to execute, that there will be variables that cannot be controlled but life continues.

There are times when the person can immerse itself in a state where it feels it has no control of life.

Experiencing this situation in certain aspects is normal since nobody can handle everything at once and it goes perfectly.

Some people accept the fact that they are losing control over some things, but they don’t see it as if the world is going to end, learn to live with it.

When a person learns to accept that it has no control over things it becomes more human.

This leads the human being to realize that it has a point where he can break.

Wanting to have control of everything is not healthy.

It is not the same to work healthily so that things go well to act excessively to have everything under control.

When a person is feeling out of control they can interpret it in several ways.

Some understand that the feeling is normal, that a situation such as unemployment or a breakup will bring out those feelings, but in turn, recognizes that this feeling will not be forever and focuses on moving forward.

Other times when the person is feeling out of control they may feel that the world is coming upon them.

It can’t make decisions, doesn’t know what to do, sees everything fall apart.

Although these feelings may be normal, the way the person will react after an event or an event that provokes this feeling will be decisive to see how the feeling of feeling out of control will interfere with your life.

Some people develop anxiety disorders or depression when they are feeling out of control.

They feel sad, anxious, want to recover or fix everything, but once they see that their attempts were failed the thing gets worse.

The person plunges into a state of sadness where, in some cases, it might be difficult to get out of there.

The situation or event that a person goes through greatly influences the time someone is feeling out of control.

Therefore, before taking measures that could be in some cases unfavourable, it is better to know the source.

Causes of why a person is feeling out of control

A person feels out of control when it sees that it has no control over a situation or something else. In this aspect the emotional value and others that the person has put to obtain what it wanted to see in the end see that did not get it.

Situations such as the breakup of a relationship, the death of a loved one or the dismissal of a job, are situations that can make a person feel out of control. In these situations, little can be done.

A breakup

When the breakup occurs, usually one of the two in the relationship is the one who decides to end the relationship.

The other person may or may not accept it. When accepts it, there is no problem and everyone continues with their lives.

When does not accept it, the person will look for various measures so that the relationship becomes as it was before.

When a person sees that their relationship has ended, they feel sad and not in the mood to do their normal activities.

When the person reaches the point of feeling out of control, it is because it feels it cannot do anything to save the relationship, even though is aware that the other party does not want to return.

Death of a loved one

When a loved one dies, the feeling that is experienced is pain and sadness because it is something that nobody wants to go through.

When a person experiences this type of loss, it may feel that the world is falling apart.

Feels that it has no control over anything in its life since that person played a fundamental role in its life.

Sometimes the person experiences guilt, since, depending on the reasons for death, the person feels that could have done something or a little more.

Dismissal from a job

One of the most bitter and hard experiences that a person can go through is when it is fired from a job.

When the person receives the news that the place of work does not need its services, it begins to generate a series of thoughts that cast doubt on its next move.

It is more difficult for a person to lose their job when they have other people in their care.

Being the mother, father, aunt or brother who provides for other family members unleashes a series of feelings.

Feels that it has no control of the situation since in many cases it cannot remedy the reason why was fired.

Dissatisfaction with life

Every human being has goals in life and fulfilling them is one of the greatest gratifications he can feel.

When the person sees that his life plan does not go according to what he has been planning, the feeling out of control can begin to take over his life.

It is right to have plans, prepare for the future and focus on what you want to achieve, but the person must understand that there will be variables and factors both internal and external that will interfere and will make things not always go as he wanted.

Some people start to question their own abilities, for example ‘I can’t do anything right’. This emotionally disturbs them and can make them feel out of control.

Drugs or alcohol

Abuse of substances such as drugs or alcohol can cause the person to say they are feeling out of control.

The uncontrolled and non-prescription use of these substances can cause the person to say and act unreasonably and to commit actions that did not want to perform in the first instance.

Drugs and alcohol exert a function in the central nervous system causing the person to have less control of what they can do and say, taking them to the point of feeling out of control.

Mental illness

Mental illnesses can cause the person not to feel in control of themselves. Depression, anxiety, PTSD or bipolar disorders give the person a feeling of feeling out of control.

Mental illnesses influence people’s thoughts, causing them to believe that they are not able to carry out their normal activities and that everything will go wrong.

If the person suspects that the feeling of out of control is going far, it is best to seek help.

What can a person do when is feeling out of control?

When a person says that is feeling out of control, the first thing it should do is think about the reasons why it feels this way.

Knowing the reasons will allow the person to seek the best solutions to solve the situation and to seek help.

When the person identifies the reason of feeling out of control, it must understand that within this reason there will be aspects that can handle and must work with those, and with those, it cannot handle, just let them go.

Acceptance is another way of dealing with the feeling of feeling out of control.

The person must understand that in the life cycle of human beings there will be situations and things that it can handle and will go in its favour.

But there will be others where cannot do anything, it will have to accept the result and move forward.

Acceptance helps to understand that not everything is as the person wants it to be.

Relaxing before things that can’t control is a way of dealing with feeling out of control.

Taking situations that cannot be controlled in the best way is to eliminate the anxiety and stress that the person may feel.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

There is no reason to be filled with anxiety and stress, although these at low doses are favourable, getting to the point of not having control over these feelings is not positive for the mental and physical health of the person.

FAQs about feeling out of control

Is it normal sometimes for a person to feel out of control?

The fact that a person sometimes feels out of control is normal.
When a situation escapes from its hands, this creates a feeling that it has no control, but in a short period the worry diminishes and the person continues with its life in a normal way.

How can a person deal with a situation that is not in their hands?

For a person to deal with a situation that is not in their hands, actions such as feeling the emotions, taking long breaths, stop thinking about reasons that fill the mind with confusion and remember that the situation is not permanent, will help to deal with the emotions that brings when dealing with something is out of its hands.

When a person feels out of control is it due to illness?

Some mental disorders such as depression can cause the person to feel out of control and unable to handle anything that happens.

In other cases, the person who feels it has no control of anything does not necessarily have a mental disorder, but because it cannot deal with certain situations it begins to think that it cannot control anything.

What can a person do when others want to control everything they do?

In order others stop taking control of what a person does the best they can do is make their position clear about the decisions they make and not take seriously all the comments that others make about what person decides with its life.

The opinions of others will always be present, the person does not necessarily have to listen to it but sometimes others just want to help. But neither should they take everything they say seriously.

The person should listen and decide the best for its life.

Is it right for the person to seek help if it feels it has no control of its life?

If a person feels that it has no control of its life and it is to the point that it feels desperate and sad in its daily life, the best thing it can do is seek professional help.

The fact that a person feels out of control many times is due to a situation that it has not been able to handle or obtained a negative result.


Control gives people the feeling that they have everything in order and that they can handle it.

When it escapes from the hands sometimes the person takes it to the point that it can do nothing more and begins to manifest feelings of sadness and despair.

Accepting things as they are in many cases helps the person understand that not everything will go perfectly, that in life many successes and failures are experienced but that everything is part of the learning process that each person has in life.

  1. Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions So They Don’t Control You 
  2. Thoughts and Feeling, Fourth Edition: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life 
  1. How To Manage Your Emotions When They Feel Out of Control… for no obvious reason 

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