Feeling depressed because the honeymoon phase is over

This article will discuss how some people may feel depressed when the honeymoon phase of their relationship is over. For that, the article will explain what the honeymoon phase is, what are some benefits from its end, and what you can do when it is over.

Why do you feel depressed when the honeymoon phase ends? 

When the honeymoon phase is over, you are getting used to your partner’s presence in your life, it is not only a chemical matter, you may start to see them for who they are for real, not the way passion made you see them.

This can make you aware of his faults, and the hardship of having a relationship. And although it is amazing to have someone to share your life with, it is also a lot of work. And being aware of that can make you sad. 

This sadness you can experience once the honeymoon phase is over is not clinical depression. But realizing that you will need to deal with the realities of a relationship, can certainly affect your mood.

When you are in the honeymoon phase you can feel all those butterflies, and excitement. Being in that phase means you are getting a rush of hormones like testosterone that help you develop a sexual relationship with your partner. But this doesn’t mean that being out of it should be bad.

What is the honeymoon phase? 

The honeymoon phase is that moment in the relationship in which everything seems perfect. You may overlook all the faults your partner may have. It is that moment when you are learning more about each other, and all of their jokes may seem funny to you.

It can feel as if you have found the perfect partner. You may think you will agree on everything and are alike. You may talk through text many times a day, and may even surprise them with little gifts.

But with time, as you feel you are becoming more comfortable with your partner, and there are some signs of reality, you can feel like the honeymoon phase is coming to an end.

The honeymoon phase can go from six months to a year and a half, depending on each couple. But you may realize it is over when you don’t call each other as much as you did before. And you can feel like that big excitement is over.

Now you will face who your partner is, and in some cases, people may notice that they are not compatible, and some relationships may end at that time. Spending all the free time you have together is not a reality anymore.

When the honeymoon phase is over, you may also focus your attention on other things and other relationships. The honeymoon phase is over when you have your first fight. 

This implies you can disagree with each other, discuss it, and find a way to encompass both of your thoughts. It is at this moment you will realize if you can have a long-term relationship with this person.

With time, all those cute habits your partner has may start to annoy you. Along with that, you both invest less on fancy dates, now it is more about learning about each other on a deeper level. The frequency of sex, and always having your hand on the other may have changed, and those little gifts and surprises stop.

Although the end of the honeymoon phase can be a step forward in your relationship, some people can take this negatively and feel depressed about it. 

What are the benefits of moving from the honeymoon phase? 

Although there is a lot said about the downside of moving on from the honeymoon phase, moving on from it can have a lot of benefits. After that, you create a deeper bond with your partner, you can trust in them, and share your most intimate thoughts.

In this period, you might be filled with a hormone called oxytocin, which is known as the love hormone. This is the one that allows you to bond with your partner. You may feel more comfortable experimenting with sexual things with them, which is great to make the relationship work in the long hall.

Along with that, the end of the honeymoon phase allows for more intimacy and closeness. And as you move forward, try to still have fun with it. Even though that initial spark is gone, you can find even better ways to enjoy each other.

What can you do when you pass the honeymoon phase? 

When you feel that the honeymoon phase is gone, the first thing to do is acknowledge it. Maybe you can even talk to your partner about it. When you both know something has changed, you can focus on what can be better.

Keep in mind that even though you might not be in that constant PDA state of mind, having some time to explore your sex life is still extremely important. And even more so is the romance that can relate to it. Be it in your sex life, or your everyday life, try to be open to new things. For example, you can go on a trip together.

Another important thing to keep in mind when the honeymoon phase is over is to try and focus on what is better at the moment. Having in mind only the negative aspects of the new phase you are in will only make it harder for you to enjoy it.

But if all and all, as you get to know your partner on a deeper level, and you realize they aren’t who you thought, you may want to ask yourself if this was just a fling. 

Moving forward in a relationship just so you are not alone, because you want to have kids, or even because you invested in it for a long time, can be too hard on yourself and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why do I feel depressed when the honeymoon phase ends? 

Why do people break up after the honeymoon phase?

After the honeymoon phase, some relationships may end. This can happen because you may have been trying to set your self-worth through a relationship. This means you were sustaining this relationship not because you loved the person, but just to feel good about yourself.

Another reason might be because you got addicted to the thrill of a new relationship, and now having one where that constant spark and anxiety are not there, seems to bore you. This can become a constant problem in your life.

And with time you might start to notice a pattern. In that, every time a relationship moves on from the honeymoon phase, and your partner feels like they can open themselves up on a deeper level, you can get annoyed. 

This will lead you from one relationship to the other quite fast, but never really form an emotional bond with your partner.

 What can I expect for the first six months of a relationship? 

During the first six months of the relationship, you might be going through the honeymoon phase. But when you are getting to the 6 months mark, you both may start to question if this is someone you want to introduce to your friends and family. 

You might also think if you are compatible. You may want to compare the goals and expectations each of you has on the relationship and decide if it is something that can go on the long hall or not. 

If you both disagree on what you expect in the future, and it seems impossible to reach an understanding, this might mean that you have bigger trouble than you thought. 

Some couples may go to couples therapy to deal with the situation, while others may try to discuss it over and over again. For others, this might be the end of the road, and a breakup is on the horizon.

Why do women break relationships up more than men? 

Women usually break up relationships more often than men for 3 reasons. The first one is that they are usually more sensitive to relationship problems. Being aware of what the problem is, makes it easier for them to end it.

Another reason for that is that the institution of marriage is usually one that favors men. Women tend to sacrifice themselves more to make it work, so at some point, they might feel like it is enough and end the relationship. 

And finally, women tend to end relationships more often because they feel they have fewer possibilities after it. Although this may seem strange, knowing they will have to work harder to take back control of their lives after a break-up, can cause them to end it faster.

What are red flags in a relationship? 

When you are getting in a relationship there are some red flags you can watch for. You should be aware of your partner seems too controlling, or shows that he doesn’t trust you. It may be a huge red flag if the relationship starts to lower your self-esteem.

The same is said when your partner is abusive, be it physically, emotionally, or psychologically. When a partner abuses drugs or alcohol one should also be aware, or if they show signs of having a narcissistic personality. Partners that have trouble controlling their emotions, and tend to be aggressive are also a problem.

In the same way that one that bonds in a codependent manner with you. That is because even though it might be great too, at first, feel like you are this person’s everything, with time it can impair your other relationships. Another red flag is a constantly jealous partner or one that isn’t able to communicate well.

Not being able to handle conflict can indicate low emotional intelligence and it is something to be considered. The same way as a partner that is constantly gaslighting you, or turning your other relationships bad.

Do men cheat more often?

Men are often the ones that chest the most. But over recent years, women are having more and more affairs. Women seem to be better at hiding it, and men usually end up cheating through a casual opportunity. They also seem to be better at compartmentalizing the affair and distancing it from their relationship.

Conclusion 

This article centered on why people may feel depressed when the honeymoon phase of their relationship ends. For that, it explained what does it mean to be in the honeymoon phase, and the benefits of moving past it. Along with that, the article showed what are things you can do when you are done with the honeymoon phase.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://www.bustle.com/articles/112491-how-to-deal-with-falling-out-of-the-honeymoon-phase

https://www.bonobology.com/15-signs-your-honeymoon-period-is-over/

https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-when-the-honeymoon-phase-ends-in-your-relationship/