Everything falling apart (5 steps to cope)

Do you ever feel like everything is falling apart? Are you not happy with yourself? Are you not fitting in? Are you neglecting your mental and physical health? Before you answer, let me tell you something. I already know that you do. Everybody does. Most people don’t understand the impulse for a remedy unless there is a dire crisis and you feel like everything is falling apart.

Let’s be real. Life is unpredictable; life is a constantly changing environment that we have to strive through, every day. One day you’re happy, all caught up on work, and the next you’re missing your lectures, failing your courses, and wondering where it all went wrong.

What is it that is causing everything to fall apart, and what can we do to stop it? Some crises are unforeseeable, and when they arise, we are either startled by our tenacity and our psychological and practical ingenuity, or we end up slipping through gaps in our psychological foundations. Other crises were just calamities on the verge of erupting. This happens when we are too preoccupied, distracted, or simply refuse to notice the warning indications of impending disaster.

Setbacks are a natural phenomenon; we all face them repeatedly in our lives. The thing is, even a small setback can do a significant amount of damage. So your dad didn’t die, but you failed to complete your assignment on time and one after the other, you’ve slowly let go of your studies altogether, feeling as if you’ve given up on life. This feeling- as if you have given up all life and there’s nothing else you’d rather do, except crawling under your covers as a failed attempt to escape from your surroundings. Spoiler alert -you can’t.

This blog is going to help you understand the psychological aspects of the human mind, the real question behind this issue, “why do I feel this way” and suggest some well-researched remedies, 5 steps to cope with your situation.

Why does everything feel like it’s falling apart? (Research-based)

Understanding the psychology of any person requires studying his mind and behavior. What makes it a difficult subject is that Psychological phenomena are very complicated. Formulating predictions about them is challenging due to individual differences and the multiplicity of factors that influence them at various levels of explanation.

Let me explain it this way by using an example of a predictable yet uncertain experience of childbirth associated with the unprecedented or even anticipated calamities of the following change. The circumstances we face that sometimes overwhelm us to the point of utter hopelessness, the reason why it must feel like everything is out of control, unmanageable and irreparable.

In a paper published by Priscilla Joy Hall in 2015, she studied the phenomenology of the experience of childbirth and the different approaches taken by women to handle the process. The goal of this study was to use descriptive phenomenology, a method for studying human experience, to analyze childbirth in all of its complexities, including all of the variations of emotion, intellect, and sensation that contribute to the experience.

Effects of an experience

The labor process is unpredictable. It is accompanied by intense pelvic pressure, trimester discomfort, and anxiety. Finally, childbirth signals the life transition to parenting a newborn, which draws stress because of the disturbance of life patterns and changes in important relationships. The quality experience of childbirth affects a woman’s well-being. Successful childbirth brings a positive perception of her and negative or traumatic childbirth whether experienced or perceived by the women, bringing about temporary or chronic disorders.

Factors influencing our emotions

Powerlessness and helplessness are the key factors that influence the presence of any negative or positive emotion and the reason for the development of PTSD or other trauma-induced disorders. The converse is also true; e.g. a positive experience in birth will bring feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction. For women who have experienced a traumatic birth experience, reclaiming power is an essential part of their healing.

Stress is a relationship between a person and his surroundings that affect a person’s well-being. The source of stress can either be a challenge, a threat, or a loss, and the person responds in a way that restores their well-being, either by changing the situation that generated the stress or by adjusting their emotional reaction to the issue. 

How we perceive a process

The paper described childbirth and how it can be perceived in two ways, a torturous experience of pain and agony followed by PTSD and other trauma-induced disorders, or the positive approach of “giving birth to live”.

Coping mechanisms alter the meaning of an event as well. The stress reaction is reduced when a stressor is reinterpreted to have a different meaning, such as seeing something as a challenge rather than a danger.

Similarly, the quality of your experience, negative or positive, affects your well-being. Life can bring you down, raise you. It can provide you a circumstance that you can either see as a challenge to overcome, or you could let it consume you, and not in a good way.

Coping and agency are two extremely similar concepts. To cope, a person gathers resources to adjust to a stressful situation or alter one’s emotional response to stressors in ways that are beneficial to one’s well-being. The ability to set goals that will benefit one’s well-being and carry them out in the real world is known as agency. Both concepts include the human potential to act on one’s behalf to attain a worthwhile goal, but they are not interchangeable. The coping notion emphasizes the ability to respond to pressures, whereas the agency concept emphasizes the ability to act. 

How to cope?

Stressful events or a hectic schedule might lead to us overlooking vital details, which finally catch up with us and throw us back into the pit, losing sight, and the concept of light appears to be a fantasy that can only be wished for.

Here are some things that you can do to help yourself get back out there.

Take a step back

This may sound foolish or outrageous. Isn’t it more sensible that you grind a way to find a better solution? The truth is that you sometimes need to step aside from the crumbling world around you to refocus and get a better view of what’s going on. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be able to assess the issue and determine the best course of action. Meanwhile, take it easy on yourself; accept that you’re not at your best.

Hold on to what matters

In adult life, you don’t always have the luxury to stop crawling under the covers all the time.

Take a breather, relax, and make a list of things you have control over and the things that absolutely must be done. Try to hold on to them, make them your priority. Just make sure that’s taken care of in any way possible.

It’s important that you don’t end up losing everything, a major setback in your job and your wife decides to leave you because you’ve given up on life. See where I’m going?

Get help

Asking for help does not always mean scheduling a therapy session or knocking on every doorstep. There are other approaches to gain support and develop a positive influence In a situation.

It’s all right to seek out someone who can help you make that breakthrough, whether it’s a friend, a moment of self-realization, a documentary, or a podcast.

Break down your goals

Sometimes, our goals, dreams become too much for us to handle.

You’ve meticulously planned every step of your future, and you’ve been so focused on trying to build that life for yourself that you’ve forgotten to live in the “now.” Consider whether you are appreciating your current situation.

At this time, it’s not important to do everything. You’re tired and unhappy. Do what you can and stop putting too much pressure on yourself.

Now once you’ve completed all of the phases and are ready to return to the field, you believe that’s it; tomorrow I’ll make everything right, as it should be. You’re yanking yourself back to the beginning. Don’t make mental mountains in your head. Don’t try to accomplish everything at once. You’re setting yourself up for failure. And that phase will keep looping over and over again. What you need are modest doses of inspiration, a gradual increase in your pace, and small victories to boost your self-esteem and acquire control over your life.

Don’t forget to nurture yourself

Humans, like plants, need constant nourishment. Self-care is not something you do once in a while or the only time you’re in a crisis. Self-care is a continuous effort you make to keep running smoothly, while some obstacles may be overpowering or burdensome, the only thing you should be continuous about is your self-care.

Conclusion

This blog contains thoroughly researched explanations of one of the most generic questions we ask everyday, like why is everything falling apart? And how to deal with this situation.

FAQ (frequently asked questions)

How can you tell if everything is falling apart?

An article from Bright side mentions some indications are plenty for you to realize you are not able to catch up to life as if it is slipping away.

1.   Nothing interests you

2.   You’re tired all the time

3.   You’re neglecting your health and those around you

4.   Irritability and isolation. seizing communicating

Why am I tired all the time?

Being tired all the time can also be a sign of deficiency. Whether you’re stressed that you can’t keep up with work or if it’s because you’re not healthy enough, there can be many factors that can be overbearing and maybe the cause of you being tired all the time.

How to stop being stressed?

There are a variety of coping tactics that might assist you in reducing stress. But the most important thing to remember is to never give up hope or the will to improve. Don’t let your enthusiasm wane.

References

BRIGHT SIDE. (n.d.). 10 Signs That Your Life Is Slowly Falling Apart. Bright Side. https://brightside.me/inspiration-psychology/10-signs-that-your-life-is-slowly-falling-apart-598360/

J., H. P. (2015). Keeping it Together, Falling Apart and Everything in Between: A Phenomenology of Women’s Experience of Childbirth. ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global, 15. https://www.proquest.com/dissertations-theses/keeping-together-falling-apart-everything-between/docview/1692525871/se-2?accountid=135034

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