Enneagram type 9 self-improvement (tips)

In this article, we give the Enneagram type 9 self-improvement tips in managing anxiety, stress, anger issues, numbness and their inner peace. 

About the Enneagram type 9 

Type 9 – The peacemaker

Basic fear – of loss and separation, of annihilation

Basic desire – to maintain inner stability and peace of mind

The message of the superego – You are fine as long as those around you are fine.

Although it doesn’t seem like it at all, the 9 type people are the most withdrawn, which is not obvious because their escape is not a physical one.

They continue to participate, although, in their minds, they withdraw from ongoing work. 

They seek to create and maintain an inner sanctuary, a hidden and solitary place of their own, which no one can touch or disturb in any way. (“I’m here, I’m safe, no one can tell me what to do”)

They resort to this shelter either in moments full of anxiety and anger, or when it comes to a minor conflict. they fill their sanctuary with idealized memories and idealistic fantasies; real people in the real world, with their real problems, are not allowed to enter here. 

This is where they feel they can be free from the expectations of others. On the one hand, it allows them to remain calm in a crisis situation.

On the other hand, it limits or even impedes their personal evolution.

The more they retreat to their inner refuge, the more they will get lost in unnecessary daydreams.

The opacity of what is happening around them gives them the illusion of peace and harmony, but they become more and more lost, which does nothing but frustrate those around them and decrease their performance and abilities. 

If they get caught up in this trance, the feelings they might have about people or animals or certain ideas will not be able to be linked to meaningful actions.

Increasingly, their relationships will initially appear in their own imagination.

Enneagram type 9 self-improvement tips for their inner sanctuary

Your refuge is calm, peaceful and gives you security, but living in it you choose to pay a high price, as you are probably already beginning to understand.

Can you identify times when you turn your attention to this shelter? 

What are the elements or qualities that make it such a wonderful place for you? What are its unrealistic elements?

Clarify in your mind that you have much more to gain if you stay in the real world than running away.

People of type 9, intermediate level, are increasingly based on a philosophy of life, which is usually a mixture of comfortable aphorisms, general knowledge, texts and proverbs, as well as popular sayings or various quotes.

These formulas are a way to deal with people or annoying or difficult situations. 

They have ready-made answers to life’s problems, and although their “answers” fit in some situations, they tend to be simplistic and leave no room for nuances or exceptions. 

People of the lower Nine use spirituality to defend a kind of fatalism, to accept negative or loss-provoking situations as if they could do nothing about it.

They even reject their own intuitions, valid reasoning, sensory perceptions, personal experiences, or professional skills in order to cling to what they want to believe to be true. 

As if he could ignore his internal alarms, he would worry about the consequences for themselves or others.

He resigns too early and tries to convince himself (and those around him) not to worry.

Eventually, the guardian angels will take care of everything.

Tips

Whenever you are “surprised at the fact” of thinking or saying an aphorism or proverb, notice two things.

First, notice the unpleasant or negative feeling against which you are using that saying.

Can you move your attention to your body and find out exactly how it makes you feel? 

Second, do an exercise to realize that the saying is not true – that perhaps its opposite would be more appropriate. Maybe the real truth is somewhere in the middle.

stubbornness and inner resilience “I will deal with this later. “

9 people are probably very aware that they need to focus their attention and energy in order to develop, evolve, cope with problems, or to interact stably and meaningfully with others.

But they feel an indefinite hesitation as if it takes a huge effort to take part in their own lives. 

Everything seems to be too much trouble. Many of us remember the mornings when we bathed in wonderful dreams, but we still had to wake up, get out of bed, and solve difficult problems.

We are all tempted to press the sleep button to give ourselves a few extra minutes of rest and relaxation. It even happens that we press it several times: enough to make us late. 

The 9 have a similar psychic mechanism that causes them to delay spiritual awakening.

The harder they press around them to wake up and react, the more they retreat to the sanctuary.

They want to “get rid of the hassle” so that they comply, agreeing to pay any price for peace.

Enneagram type 9 self-improvement – dealing with numbness and self-forgetfulness

As paradoxical as it may sound, Nine-type people create and maintain a sense of identity, being disconnected from their own person, unaware of their individuality.

All other personality types strive to create and maintain a special and individual personality – for example, type Four always remains lost among their own feelings and inner states, type Eight always tries to assert itself in one way or another.

The 9 type contrasts, their method of creating a personality consisting in detaching from it. Rather, it focuses on relationships with others.

It’s like the room where others gather, or the page of a photo album, where other people’s pictures are kept.

Thus, their sense of self is a “negative ability” to take care of others, not themselves.

This allows people of the Nine type, of a healthy level, to be very strong support for those around them.

But their main mistake is to believe that in order to keep in touch with others, one must disconnect and move away from yourself.

It also causes them problems, because in order to nurture their negative capacity, they have to put up more and more resistance to what would spoil their sense of harmony and connection. 

Their sense of self depends on driving away many external impressions. In particular, they must oppose anything that would highlight their anger, pain, frustration, or any other negative feeling.

On the outside they may look very active, but this is just a mask, an avoidance of trouble. 

A type 9 is agitated and deals with all sorts of nonsense, in order to postpone the resolution of important issues.

In this state, I do not understand why the world around them becomes frustrated with them.

They don’t bother anyone, so why would anyone be mad at them? 

It is very important to understand that numbness is not equal to relaxation. On the contrary, it involves maintaining physical tension.

When we are relaxed, we are aware of the breath, of the sensations of the body, of the surroundings.

True peace is alive and energetic, far from the selfless detachment from their case.

Enneagram type 9 self-improvement – dealing with anger

You have to accept the idea that anger is not a bad thing and start seeing it as a force to which you have every right.

Spiritually, anger gives us the strength to say “no” – to protect ourselves from something we don’t want to be a part of.

Therefore, it would be very helpful to start saying no to the things you don’t want. 

If you feel guilty or fearful after doing this, just notice these reactions and stay calm and focused.

Be careful, however, to say “no” only in situations where this is the case.

If you make a mistake, it’s better to make a “too many NO” mistake, at least for a while, until you get used to it.

Dealing with stress

As we have seen, the Nine type chooses to cope with stress by minimizing his own desires and choices and retreating to the inner sanctuary.

When these methods are no longer enough to solve anxieties, type Nine takes on strong influences from type Six, investing energy and effort in activities or relationships that they believe would bring them more peace and stability in life.

When worries and anxieties come to the surface, the Nine guy focuses on work, projects and any other activities.

As if, after putting things aside for a while, they suddenly recover and try to cover all the problems in intense activity. 

At the same time, they become increasingly refractory in their relationships with others, increasingly passive-aggressive and defensive.

Cracks appear in their positive philosophies of life and the doubts and pessimism with which they defend themselves fiercely begin to be seen.

 Like type Six, in a state of stress, they bring to the surface complaints and grievances that have long been hidden and set aside about others and their lives in general. 

Although these discharges temporarily relieve their stress, the benefits are very short-lived, because they still avoid recognizing the roots of their unhappiness.

In situations of extreme stress, a siege mentality can develop. 

Paranoid suspicions can quickly degenerate into blaming others for their own problems and defiant reactions.

The uncontrolled outbursts of anger can be as surprising to those of the Nine type as they are to those who observe them from the outside.

Conclusions

In this article, we gave the Enneagram type 9 self-improvement tips in managing anxiety, stress, anger issues, numbness and their inner peace. 

Enneagram type 9 people are probably very aware that they need to focus their attention and energy in order to develop, evolve, cope with problems, or to interact stably and meaningfully with others.

But they feel an indefinite hesitation as if it takes a huge effort to take part in their own lives. 

If you have questions, comments or recommendations, please let us know in the comments section below!

FAQ about enneagram type 9 self-improvement

References

The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types, by Don Richard Riso 

Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery, by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson

Understanding the Enneagram: The Practical Guide to Personality Types, by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson

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