Enneagram Relationships (A Comprehensive Guide)

This is known as a personality type and includes different traits from which they are known and we can recognize them in a better way. There are nine main types of this personality which are:  The Perfectionist, The Helper, The Achiever, The Romantic, The Observer, The Questioner, The Adventurer, The Leader, and The Peacemaker. This personality has the traits that we cannot explain in one word. We cannot say that this is or maybe I am just perfectionist about the specific thing. It consists of the whole traits of personality and all things are interconnected. They all become a conclusion of a wonderful personality instead of one specific trait.There are some Enneagram personality types are mentioned which helped to find the partner and to identify your primary type needs in a relationship. In this article we will discuss enneagram relationships. 

#1: The Perfectionist

As you are a perfectionist trait so it is difficult for you to engage with any relationship who have the traits of perfectionism. When you are in love you want reassurance of this feeling and someone special always appreciates you after everything. Your love appraises you on small things and takes care of yourself in little things such as asking for water, food and your basic needs as well. In your personality you have been attracted by those individuals who value your good opinions and consider your opinion in important decisions. The individual who worked with you in good terms and gave you equal rights in a relationship. You believe that the relationship would be a good relation when both equally participate in their part equally and not all the responsibilities become the burden of any one of the partners. You are perfectionist but cannot choose a partner of perfectionist as it  becomes an unhealthy relation between two individuals. Although the perfectionists are more willing to forgive others but they want everything to be in a structured way even the way they apologise are even more structured. 

#2: The Helper

Helpers are more concerned and have the ability to fulfill the needs of others. They are more sensitive in the relationships and even are more supporting and shown as a romantic partner. They take care of the needs of others. They are good in their relationship and always available for help and support or even save their relationship. As a helper type they tend to be more attentive towards the needs of others instead of being aware of their own self. In a relationship you nurture your partner and always be available for the support of your partner.  You even forget yourself and someone needs to be reminded that you also exist and matter. Even if you ignore your needs and desires and feel uncomfortable because of others. You have the ability to listen to others even if others do not listen or care about your feelings but at a point you need reassurance from someone that you are interesting too and it will be interesting to listen to you as well. When nobody cares about you and your feelings it becomes the cause of suffering and low self-esteem. Thus you need a partner who feels proud and reassures you as you did and shows the happiness of your tasks and reassures your love with him or her. 

#3: The Achiever

The achievers are real-life heroes. They are always energetic for doing tasks and goal-oriented. They are very independent and they also demand from their partners that their partner give them some personal space so they can work on their tasks and achieve their goal. They focus on their work and while focusing on the task they get peace of mind otherwise they feel peaceful disposition. Anyone who thinks that you can be easily targeted through emotional blackmailing, waders very quickly. There is an example of famous scientist Albert Einstein’s that his wife used to leave his dinner at the outside of the room so that she would not disturb him in the middle of his tasks and goals or any assignment. But even this the marriage of Einstein’s scatter because he felt that he is being interrupted in his studies and this phenomena is the extreme version of achiever. Thus these people are not as simple to be lived and remain in a relationship. They are difficult to understand. As these individuals are always worried about the achievements of the kind of success they would like to achieve in the world but you cannot realize that achievement and others feel proud of your accomplishments and success you achieved in your life. In the end you just need someone who just focused on their own success. 

#4: The Romantic

These individuals are sensitive and GOD gifted feelings with good intuition. They are able to find solutions and meanings in tough situations. They are able to deal with life challenges and solve them with a creative mind with a positive sense. They are famous as creative thinkers. As a romantic, you need a partner who is lighthearted and able to understand your little mood swings, even your depressive mood. You always don’t try to express yourself.  You always need someone who acknowledges you with greetings and compliments, from this you will feel motivated and remain full of fuel and energy. You always want a partner who takes your considerations and opinions about any decisions and considers your feelings or bad moods more important than anything else. The most important thing is that you never want a partner that realizes that you are overreacting now and it is too dramatic now. 

#5: The Observer

The observers are analytical thinkers and keen interest in knowledge. They take the very time to put their ideas and thoughts into the world and it can be very difficult for them to work with socially skilled individuals in their surroundings.  They need a partner who imposed anything on them and forces them to try those things which they don’t like to do such as even if they do not like to go to those places which are being hated by them. They don’t like crowded gatherings, noisy environments, or anything which became the cause of social interaction with them. They wish for a good listener to be with them as they get irritated by repeated things themselves. It is very difficult for them that they give meaning or words to their thoughts and share with anyone else. If you are a partner of an observer and they remain aloof most of the time then they are uncomfortable with you. They are now demanding from you some personal space to process their emotions and thoughts so that they can manage things with themselves as well. They will come to you when they are ready. 

#6: The Questioner

These are also known as the modern philosopher who denies the possibility of knowledge and even rational belief. They have good things like they are trustworthy, responsible, and loyal to their friends and family. If you are a questionnaire then you need a partner who won’t react to your questions and feels anxiety because of your too many questions. Your best partner will be someone who will work with you properly, fulfill your demands, work on your concerns and manage things with you while facing the pros and cons of every situation as you are doing in all situations. When you have a lack of confidence then you often delay things and do not cover properly. Thus you need a person or partner who remains with you full of optimism and new experiences as due to your questions you often miss a lot of chances you don’t take. 

#7: The Adventurer

These are eager personalities who live with positive vibes and want to make a contribution to the world.  For better understanding, we can consider the example of a child who wants freedom as an adult has, and they will never compromise this freedom once they get this. As an adventurer, you have the ability to try new things, explore the world with a unique sense of style. You’re a stimulating conversationalist, and you need someone who can keep up. Your ideal partner is someone who cares or respects your freedom and does not feel the need to cling on you in any situation. 

#8: The Leader

Leaders are direct and goal-directed. The whole team follows them and they are direct, outspoken, and motivate their teams. They don’t like to compromise their plans and even don’t want to delay them. They work as an example with their team and the team follows them. They have the ability to meet challenges and they are honest even in difficult times. They have the ability to convey their task in a very assertive manner and don’t automatically assume that it’s a personal attack.

“I’m not angry, I’m PASSIONATE!” is a common phrase for Leaders.

You need a partner who understands your feelings and genuine behavior or feelings inside yourself and understands the reason for your anger and hyperactivity. 

#9: The Peacemaker

Peacemakers are receptive listeners, supportive and good-natured, but they are afraid of confrontation. They are often recognized as people-pleasers, in which they are not able to say no to anyone. As this title even recognizes them as being an indecisive or lacking initiative. They are also very sensitive, taking things personally and need a partner who can understand these things with them. For those with a more Leader-like personality, it may seem like being with a Pacemaker would be a tough job, but the truth is, Peacemakers have an uncanny ability to acknowledge all sides of an issue. They like fantastic partners as they are always able to go with the flow and take responsibility for their deeds. 

Relationship Development

There are three main categories that are very important to develop a relationship. These are as follows: 

1. What to acknowledge

This is the individual’s responsibility that he or she would take the responsibility to manage the difficulties and distressing or conflicting events in a relationship. 

2. What to appreciate

To identify the things or attitudes which need to be attributed according to the acknowledge, appreciate, and supporting behavior with each other. 

3. Key tasks for development

There are key specific recommendations concerning what each individual in the relationship needs to start doing, stop doing, working on, or accepting to improve the relationship, enhance satisfaction, and ultimately create a relationship that truly flourishes or help each other to grow. 

FAQ about Enneagram Relationships 

 Which Enneagram numbers are most compatible?

References: 

https://ieaninepoints.com/2019/09/11/enneagram-and-relationships/

https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/enneagram-compatibility/