ENFJ depression (What is it like?)

In this article, we will try to understand what depression looks like in an ENFJ personality,  what is an ENJF personality and the reasons for depression in an ENFJ personality. 

Depression in ENFJ 

Depression in a person with an ENFJ personality is worse. 

ENFJs are natural perfectionists, which does make them rather hard on themselves most of the time. They struggle to be forgiving and cut themselves slack, especially when mistakes have been made. They do not give enough room to themselves to be imperfect. When the ENFJs are really struggling with depression, this part of themselves can certainly make the situation more difficult to get through. 

They likely spend a lot of time trying to push through these feelings or replace them with even more responsibility. When an ENFJ is suffering from depression, they are constantly dealing with the feeling of guilt, for their incapability to finish their work. 

ENFJs often want to seem strong, and while they don’t judge others who are depressed. they often judge themselves. They put pressure on themselves to always stay strong, but it is important for the ENFJ to understand that depression does not make them weak. 

ENFJs often struggle with asking for help when they are in need because of their need to always stay strong. They don’t want to burden others with their problems. This is why it can be such a challenge for them to ask for help when they are struggling with depression. 

While ENFJs are naturally giving people, they might struggle with really wanting to take much from others. This can sometimes be the very thing that sends them into a depression since they feel unappreciated and feel like their efforts aren’t being recognized. 

What is an ENFJ type of personality? 

The ENFJ is among the rarest of the sixteen types of Myers Briggs personality types, comprising only about 2-3% of the population.

ENFJ stands for Extraversion (E), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judgment (J). therefore, people with ENFJ personality are warm, engaging, charismatic, persuasive, and talkative. they tend to have strong ideas and values. They are usually there to help others. 

ENFJ indicates a person who is energized by time spent with others (Extraverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling), and who prefers to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging).

ENFJs can quickly read and establish rapport with others. Because of their love for people and formidable social intelligence, ENFJs develop extensive networks of friends, acquaintances, and social connections. 

ENFJs excel when it comes to reading people, quickly assessing and mirroring their emotions, expressions, and body language. This grants ENFJs great insight into people, making them intuitive. 

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have the tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

Overall, they are invigorated by social novelty and networking with people. They are also motivated by personal excellence and self-mastery, including the sense of validation that comes from being esteemed and admired by others. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, they strive to quicken the personal growth of others, which, in turn, fortifies their sense of purpose and self-worth.

Famous ENFJ personalities 

  • Barack Obama
  • Nancy Reagan 
  • Martin Luther King Jr.
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Lauren Graham
  • Andy Griffith
  • Demi Lovato
  • Michael Jordan
  • Abraham Maslow
  • Alfred Adler
  • Maya Angelou

This list of famous celebrities shows us that depression and anxiety are prone to ENFJ personalities. Jennifer Lawrence is known to suffer from anxiety, while Demi Lovato had opened up about her depression. 

Characteristics of depression in  ENFJ

  • Optimism and enthusiasm usually turn into seclusion and dejection.
  • Feelings of depression, vulnerability, and unworthiness can be seen. 
  • Tends to actually feel numb inside, seeing only a bleak future.
  • Being cranky, mistrustful, and angry in general.
  • Grows even more organized and planful, turning into a perfectionist.
  • Becomes intensely self-critical.
  • Can also excessively find fault with others, casting blame in wide circles.
  • Becomes obsessed with searching for the ‘real’ truth.
  • Uses complicated and convoluted analysis in pursuing the truth.
  • Often employs irrelevant data in arguments instead of pertinent information.
  • Usually tries to ‘think’ themselves out of a problem, but gets stuck in faulty logic.

Reasons for depression in ENFJ personalities

  • People with  ENFJ personality are people pleasers: A person with ENFJ personality will agree that they always want other people to like them. They desire that those around them are cared for and happy. They want their friends, family members, and co-workers to be as happy as humanly possible. However, over a period of time, they realize that it is impossible for everyone to be happy all the time.  if they are found to be stuck in the mental mess of pleasing people, then it will lead to them becoming depressed and overwhelmed mentally. 
  • They focus too much on perfection and idealism: We have seen that an ENFJ is a perfectionist. This unfortunately is one of the biggest reasons for their depression. Perfectionism may come into play in their career or profession. They are known for over-scheduling themselves and they are often very image sensitive. It is important for ENFJ’s to not worry so much about what others think, because if they do, then it could lead to them feeling depressed because they think they don’t measure up to the standards or expectations of others.
  • They live with the feeling that they don’t fit in with society: Even if they are extroverted personalities, they usually feel that they are alone.  They have this extremely strong urge to connect on deeper levels with others. They always seem to have deep, soul-searching kinds of questions on the tips of their tongues. ENFJ’s usually feel alone because they see the world as a whole from a pretty shallow and materialistic point of view. When ENFJ’s see people going gaga over the latest trends and gadgets,  it is an immediate turnoff, and they withdraw and may become depressed and disappointed by society’s lack of dept.
  • They do not ask for help: ENFJ’s usually believe in helping others instead of asking for help. This can act both as a boon or a bane. They sometimes are so caught up in thinking of what they can give to other people, that they fail to realize that they are actually the ones in need themselves. When they realize that they need emotional assistance, they usually deny it and distract themselves with their responsibilities. It is quite a paradox and by ENFJ’s denying their own needs, they end up feeling depressed and burnout if they are not careful.

The 3 Signs of a Depressed ENFJ

Though all the signs and symptoms of depression in any person apply the same way to the ENFJ, by 3 signs of depression we mean the 3 typical things one might expect to see in any ENFJ individual owing to their particular character traits.

Before we look at the 3 signs, it is important to remember that the ENFJ:

  • Has an extremely people-oriented and feeling based decision-making system
  • Has a subconscious thought process they don’t really control or are aware of;
  • Tend to seek newness and sensation when sad or uncomfortable or even in normal times.

ENFJ and stress 

ENFJs tend to feel stressed by judgment from other people, especially those they care about. They care a lot about how others see them and are likely to take criticism to heart. They are likely to stress when they feel like they’re burdening others. They may overthink things, at times, and tend to feel worried that their presence is draining to others. ENFJs tend to focus on the big picture; the details are likely to frustrate or bore them. They may often feel stressed by negativity, especially when their friends, family, or coworkers are being pessimistic. 

Toxic traits of ENFJ

Here are some toxic traits of the ENFJ that may cause depression or worsen a pre-existing depression-like condition in the ENFJ:

  • Because they are so in tune with other people’s emotions, the ENFJ may also expect, without any reason, that people will just understand the depression they are going through and may get upset if they don’t.
  • The ENFJ may also keep forgetting the fact that others don’t function the way they do and can’t read minds or know what the depression in the ENFJ is like.
  • The ENFJ in depression may also display uncharacteristic and toxic clinginess and they may even try to force people to ask them about the depression but then have trouble actually sharing because of their tendency to be strong for themselves and others.
  • ENFJ may also have trouble opening up about the depression at all because they want to be strong and support others around them all the time.
  • ENFJ may also try to isolate and withdraw when they are in depression.
  • ENFJ may also turn to risky things like drugs or gambling to get over the low mood that happens in depression.
  • They may blame others for their pain, or on the contrary, think they are worthless and feel like they don’t deserve any happiness
  • The ENFJ may catastrophize everything when they are depressed due to their idealistic tendencies.

Does personality matter when it comes to depression? 

There is a lot of room to speculate about personality types and depression. But it is speculation. And whether personality traits are a cause of depression may not matter in any practical sense. There may be personality-based coping skills, or there may be personality characteristics that fuel depression. But in a crisis, that’s academic. Under the right conditions, all types are susceptible to depression.

Conclusion 

In this article, we have tried to understand what depression looks like in an ENFJ personality,  what is an ENJF personality and the reasons for depression in an ENFJ personality. 

FAQs: ENFJ depression 

What attracts ENFJs?

They want to learn more about these things and enjoy listening to someone express the different subjects and hobbies they are deeply passionate about in life. ENFJs are also attracted to confident people, someone who can hold themselves with a sense of sureness.

Are ENFJs manipulative?

Because ENFJs have dominant Extraverted Feeling they are more expressive, affectionate, and find common values with other people. While unhealthy ENFJs can be fake or manipulative, the majority are not and feel extremely hurt by the accusation. 

Who Should an ENFJ marry?

ENFJ’s dominant function of Extraverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Feeling. An ENFJ and INFP are ideally matched because they share an Intuitive way of looking at the world.  However, the ENFJ and ISFP are also a very good match.

References 

https://vocal.media/psyche/enfj-s-sometimes-struggle-with-depression

https://www.truity.com/personality-type/ENFJ#

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