Dress stress (A brief guide)

In this guide, we will talk about dress stress and how to avoid it.

Dress stress

Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marr... x
Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marriage

If you are suffering from dress stress because you haven’t found the perfect dress for that special occasion, for instance, your wedding day, your prom or the holidays, here we will tell you how to avoid it. 

We know social gatherings, your wedding day, holiday season, engagements and other special occasions can be very stressful if you don’t have the perfect dress or the perfect outfit meant for the occasion.

However, here we will focus on that special day you have been dreaming about your entire life, your wedding day. 

The process of wedding planning is already a very stressful situation now you want to make sure you have the perfect dress but you are not sure yet which one you will pick.

You have probably watched “say yes to the dress” or “bridezilla” so you know you are not alone.

Now, we know this is a different process as when you are deciding what to wear in the morning or when you are attending to your relative’s or friend’s baby shower. 

You start thinking that all eyes will be on you, this is the most special day of your life, you have dreamed about this your whole life and similar thoughts come into your head making you feel even more stressed than when you were trying to pick your wedding cake or where you would have your venue.

We get it, everything needs to be perfect.

Shopping for your dream dress can be both exciting and daunting since there are a thousand options to chose from, many designers, fabrics and different styles. What should you do then?

First of all, trying every dress that interests you or caught your eye is not a bad thing.

Sometimes we see a dress, we fell in love with it but as soon as we wear it, we are not sure anymore, then you need to keep looking and keep trying.

Don’t worry, you will eventually find the perfect match.

Try also browsing for options online or through bride magazines, this will help you narrow down the styles and fabrics you like the most.

Also, try shopping during quiet times, meaning avoid going to a bride shop during weekends, this can stress you even more.

Instead, consider shopping Tuesdays through Thursdays. 

In addition, bringing along your nearest and closest friends or relatives with you can be both a good and a bad idea.

People will always have an opinion so make sure to prepare them before trying some of the dresses.

Avoid bringing too many people, it will ruin the surprise and “wow” factor that you’d like to get in the end when they see you walking down the aisle. 

However, be open-minded and trust your consultant since they have already heard what you want and need.

If they pull out a dress that at the beginning you are not loving, still try it on, you might end up having a nice surprise. 

Also, before you start trying dresses, consider having a budget in mind.

The last thing you want is to end up disappointed because the dress you fell in love with is way out of your budget, which will end up making you feel worse than before.

In addition, consider any veils, jewelry, headpieces or any modifications you need to make to your dress as part of the process.

Do guys also feel dress stress?

Yes, they do. When a man faces a certain age they start questioning if the way they dress is appropriate for their age or if their style is outdated.

Meaning probably they are having second thoughts about their slogan T-shirts, ripped or distressed jeans from where they were younger.

Well, men can also go through and face a similar crisis as women do. 

According to the Irish Times “As they hit their 30s and beyond, they don’t want to dress like their fathers, but they don’t want to look like they’ve just taken up skateboarding either. Yet, this is exactly the moment when shopping becomes an increasingly stressful activity.”

Times change and long with its fashion.

Some men are really aware of it and some others prefer to keep their style intact, refusing to tag along with the new fashion tendencies.

However, when changing your style or reinventing yourself through fashion it is important to keep being yourself.

This goes along with your personality and your shape not only your age.

In addition, keep things simple, you don’t need to overdress to impress or use a lot of fabric or colors to keep up with fashion, instead, a simple T-shirt with a V-neck jumper can make the trick.

 There are a few things to consider according to the Irish time for instance:

  • Hawaiian shirts, especially if they are not fit for the occasion.
  • Three-quarter pants, especially when they are accompanied by socks with runners.
  • T-shirts with slogans, “absolutely awful”.
  • Leaving shirttails loose.
  • Bellies, “A jacket is always good over a shirt, rather than jumpers stretched over the belly.”

What can I do to avoid dress stress?

Here are some tips to avoid dress stress and basically overall wedding stress:

Tip 1: save your energy for what matters

When we are under stress, we tend to give all our attention and thought to it, causing arousal and some unpleasant physical symptoms, this is why it is important to take some time to de-stress. 

According to Psychology Today, “Kuznet’s Inverted-U Hypothesis teaches us that too much or too little arousal can decrease performance levels while completing a task. For most individuals, it is a moderate amount of stress that helps us perform at our peak. Remember this when shopping for a dress.”

Tip 2: Take some time off the wedding plan

Treat yourself for a day or two to keep your mind off all the things related to the wedding and all that talk about dresses, cakes, the reception, the flowers, the food, etc.

Put all the papers, magazines and anything related to the wedding in a drawer or under your bed, somewhere you are not able to see it for a few days. 

When you do this, it will remove yourself from the wedding plans and help you put things into perspective lets you have a calm, peaceful and relaxing time. 

“Remove unnecessary emotion, increase your objective view of this day, and help you decide on the dress. It will also serve as a reminder that life went on before your wedding and will go on after your wedding no matter the outcome (psychology today).”

Tip 3: remember what this day is about

It is your wedding day and it is important to make all the necessary arrangements for it to be perfect, there are no second chances.

However, you getting married is not reduced to a dress or a cake or all the little details you have been planing for weeks or even months. 

Remember it is about your commitment to your partner and starting a new life beside them. 

The wedding celebration is just you inviting friends and family to celebrate with you this special moment of your life and symbolizes the marker for your commitment to your soon to be spouse.

If you are more into the wedding day than the commitment you are about to make then you may be missing out on the best thing about it. 

“If your focus is funneled into only the wedding day you may be ignoring signs that you should not marry your partner, need to work on your relationship, or must strengthen the actual marriage.”

Tip 4: When everything is over, what will you remember?

When this day is over and when you look back a few years from now, what will you remember?

If your answer is “all the stress it caused” then there is something wrong. Think about all the things you wish you could have done differently.

Also, think about the things that you’d like to achieve personally and professionally before and after your big commitment. 

When you start your married life you will start thinking about all the things you wish you could have done or big decisions as to where you will live, or if you are able to keep your current job, etc. 

Tip 5: make sure you feel comfortable

With this, we mean making sure you feel comfortable in your dress.

Yes, some dresses will make you look gorgeous but they are actually very uncomfortable and won’t even let you breathe or dance during this special night.  

Feeling comfortable in your own skin is not easy to accomplish but it is not impossible.

We know looking spectacular, gorgeous and astonishing is the way you’d like people to see you but you need to think about you and your own comfort. 

“This is not the time to try something drastically different or experiment with a new look. You want to feel like the most beautiful version of you!”

Tip 7: Don’t lose yourself in the process

Remember you and remember the fact that this day and this dress are yours.

We get it, thinking about what others expect from you seems like the best way to do things but what other people think should not matter, this is your dress and you are the one that will wear it in the end, not them.

This is why making choices depending on what other people think may have a huge impact on your decision and eventually can make you feel very unsatisfied with your choice, causing even more stress. 

Tip 8: Don’t push yourself!

You can be obsessed about looking your best on your wedding day but that doesn’t mean you are going to present a starved, burnt ot over-bleached version of your self that day. 

Try to avoid the quick dieting, the pills, the hours of gym or spray tans. 

Remember not to push yourself to fit in the dress, instead, let the dress fit you. 

Tip 9: breaking the rules is not a bad thing

We understand how it goes, society tells you to wear white, to have a big wedding party or that you should invite over 100 people so everyone can see how happy you are.

But you are not actually obligated to wear white or wearing a dress, having a costly wedding party or having the perfect wedding in the eyes of your guests. Do the things that make you feel comfortable and happy.

There are no specific rules to follow, you actually are in charge of creating them, after all, it is your wedding so you decide how things will eventually turn out. 

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.





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