Does your boyfriend have BPD? (+5 Useful tips)

This interesting blogpost will be explaining if your boyfriend has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. In addition to this, we will also be giving you a few tips that you can use if you are dating someone who has BPD.

Does your boyfriend have BPD?

Your boyfriend may have BPD if he is depicting the following signs and symptoms,

• He chased you wildly before the relationship started
• He clearly is scared of you leaving him
• He has suddenly isolated himself from you
• He changes his perception of you and other often
• He has taken part in self-harming behaviors
• You can never predict his mood
• He suffers from low self-esteem
• He has been a participant in dangerous behaviors
• He finds it hard to connect with others

He chased you wildly before the relationship started

One of the hallmarks of Borderline Personality Disorder is the pattern that it leads to in relationships, especially romantic relationships. This is more commonly known as the BPD relationship cycle.

In this cycle, the person with BPD often goes through extremes of clinginess and isolation throughout the relationship. Once they have set their eyes on someone and have decided that they want to date them, they would often put up extravagant gestures in order to show their love.

If your boyfriend has come up with many grand gestures during the initial days of the relationship, and has made a big deal of the relationship before it actually was solidified, it could be a sign that he has Borderline Personality Disorder.

He clearly is afraid of you leaving him

Another sign that your boyfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder is an intense fear of abandonment. This is unlike the typical insecurity that can be seen in romantic relationships, where one person is often nervous that the other person will leave them.

The fear of abandonment which is seen in Borderline Personality Disorder is on the extreme. Your boyfriend may continuously express this fear vocally or may even be hypervigilant of your words and actions.

He may continuously ask you for clarity about what you meant when you said something, or may even try to stop you from going to different places and meeting others. If your boyfriend has depicted these fears to you, he may have an undiagnosed BPD.

He has suddenly isolated himself from you

In the BPD relationship cycle, the person goes through periods of extreme clinginess, followed by periods of isolation. The person may isolate themselves from their partner for fear of invading their space too much.

This isolation may also take place if the partners have had a tiff or a fight. If your boyfriend has a pattern of isolating himself from you and refusing to communicate, especially following a fight, this may also signify the presence of Borderline Personality Disorder.

He changes his perception of you and others often

Borderline Personality Disorder often causes an error in the way a person perceives the actions and behaviors of others. This can also lead to frequent changes in the way they might look at someone else.

This can also include the person whom they are currently dating. If your boyfriend indeed has Borderline Personality Disorder, you might notice that you are sometimes perfect in his eyes, and sometimes the vilest person on the planet at other points of time.

He has taken part in self-harming behaviors

Self-harming behaviors are also characteristic in Borderline Personality Disorder, but not always suicidal in nature. Self-harming behaviors can include head-banging, cutting oneself and even some behaviors like drinking too much or smoking too many cigarettes in one go.

If your boyfriend is taking part in self-harming behaviors, this is a sign that he needs professional help immediately. If you are living with him, you might also want to keep sharp objects away from him, and also keep an emergency plan in hand at all times.

You can never predict his mood

Another characteristic sign of Borderline Personality Disorder is frequent shifts in mood. If your boyfriend is displaying frequent changes in his mood, so much so that you can never predict what his reaction to something might be, this can be a sign that he has BPD.

He suffers from low self-esteem

Borderline Personality Disorder not only negatively affects the way a person perceives someone else, but even the way they perceive their own selves. As a result of this, they may feel very confident at one instant, and may instantly deflate in self-esteem the very next second.

This distorted self-image is pretty common among those who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. In case your boyfriend has an odd way of looking at himself and changes his confidence levels often, this can point to the presence of BPD.

He has been a participant in dangerous behaviors

Apart from dangerous behaviors like self-harming, Borderline Personality Disorder can even lead the person to take part in many other dangerous and impulsive behaviors. These can include gambling, overspending and even unsafe sex.

They might even feel no danger for themselves and even others. Many times, this can be life-threatening for them and those around them. If your boyfriend is displaying a number of dangerous behaviors, they need to consult a professional right away.

He finds it hard to connect with others

As mentioned earlier, Borderline Personality Disorder messes with the way a person perceives others. This can even lead to problems in social connections with other people and the way a person interacts with others.

They may even find it hard to empathize and emotionally connect with someone else, and this may lead to frictions with others. If your boyfriend genuinely finds it hard to empathize with others and even you, this can be a sign of BPD.

Tips when your boyfriend has BPD

If your boyfriend has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, apart from his official treatment plan, there are a number of things that you can do to make your relationship better and stronger. Some tips to use for a BPD boyfriend have been listed below.

• The first important thing that you need to do is to improve your awareness about Borderline Personality Disorder. You can learn about this disorder online and even by talking to mental health professionals.

• You also can talk to your boyfriend about what he feels about the diagnosis and the disorder. It might not be an easy conversation, but it can certainly give you a lot of information on how he plans to cope with it.

• Borderline Personality Disorder can lead to certain patterns in the relationship. However, there is no concrete pattern for everyone who has been diagnosed with BPD. Learn more about the stages of your boyfriend’s pattern.

Once you are aware of this, you need to become aware of what stage he currently is in and remember what to expect from this stage. You can even set up a contract so that both you and your boyfriend know what to do at what stage.

• You also need to create boundaries in the relationship early on. Once your partner knows your limits and that you detaching from them does not mean that you are abandoning them, it makes things easier for them.

• Perhaps the most important thing that you need to do is to take care of your own mental health. Having a boyfriend with BPD cannot be easy at all times, and if you are not mentally sound, this can backfire and make things worse for your relationship.

Conclusion

This interesting blogpost has explained if your boyfriend has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. In addition to this, we have also given you a few tips that you can use if you are dating someone who has BPD.

If you like this blogpost, please leave your comments and questions in the space below.

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