Checklist: Does someone you care about have BPD? (30 Items)

In this post, we have given you a checklist that you can use in order to understand if someone you care about has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. We will also be discussing the different steps that you can take if someone you care about has BPD.

Checklist: Does someone you care about have BPD?

Go through the various points given below, and tick the options that apply to the person, whom you suspect is suffering from BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder.

  1. The person finds it difficult to remember certain events and people.
  2. They are not able to control their impulses easily.
  3. They have taken part in risky behaviors, like unsafe sex.
  4. They get angry very easily.
  5. Their mood keeps changing very often.
  6. They have expressed a fear of losing control over their lives.
  7. They are very clingy.
  8. They are afraid that their current partner may leave them.
  9. They have performed many grand gestures when they were trying to impress someone.
  10. They have changed their perspectives about people suddenly with no explanation.
  11. They have tried to harm themselves.
  12. They have an addiction problem.
  13. They have tried to get someone to start a fight with them.
  14. They have mentioned feeling out of touch with reality.
  15. They have heard voices in their heads.
  16. They are known to spend a lot of money which they clearly don’t have.
  17. They have thrown temper tantrums in public.
  18. They have taken part in physical violence.
  19. They feel that their sexual orientation often changes.
  20. They have mentioned feeling very empty inside
  21. They keep suspecting that others are trying to harm them.
  22. They keep suspecting that others are trying to leave them.
  23. They don’t acknowledge their weaknesses or negatives.
  24. They suddenly indulge in binge-eating.
  25. They drive recklessly and dangerously.
  26. They have mentioned that they hate everything and everyone, including themselves.
  27. Their values and principles keep changing.
  28. They have many memory lapses.
  29. They are known to dive head-first into a relationship without thinking clearly.
  30. They need to be reassured all the time.

If you have ticked off more than 15 items on the list, it may be possible that the person you care about has Borderline Personality Disorder. However, if you have ticked off less than 15 items, and you still care for your friend, you can discuss it with them in a caring and loving manner.

What to do if someone you care about has BPD?

If someone you care about has BPD or you suspect that they have BPD, the first thing that you need to do for them is to encourage them to consult with a licensed and certified mental health professional.

This may not always go easily and smoothly, since those who have Borderline Personality Disorder may not understand the severity of their symptoms. They may also get pretty aggressive and arrogant with you.

You can make the situation a little better for them and yourself by taking the help of other close friends and family members. Once the person gets the professional help they need, you can help them through various methods, such as,

Encourage them to stick to their treatment

Borderline Personality Disorder can follow a variety of courses of treatment depending on what signs and symptoms the person is showing, and the age the PD is manifesting itself in. Often, psychotherapy will be prescribed along with medications if necessary.

The most important thing that the person needs to do is to stick to their prescribed treatment and go to therapy sessions as required. As a person who cares about them, you can help them by being aware of the prescribed treatment and encouraging them to stick to it.

Learn more about BPD

You can also increase your awareness about Borderline Personality Disorder so that you are able to help your loved one even better. By learning about the various signs and symptoms and the coping strategies which can help, you will be in a better position to guide your loved one.

Be patient with them

The most important thing to do with someone who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder is to be patient with them. Due to the PD, they are not going to be easy to handle at all times.

If you counter them actively, it may lead to fights and conflicts. If you leave them for space, they may misunderstand this as abandonment. When you are patient with them at a constant level, they will ultimately let their guard down and become more trusting with you.

Reassure them of their strengths

Those who have Borderline Personality Disorder regularly struggle with their self-esteem and their self-identity. They may feel that they are worthless and are of no use to this world. This can even lead to self-harming behaviors and suicidal ideations.

Thus, you need to constantly reassure them of their strengths. You need to be careful here, so as to not to randomly use sugar-coated adjectives. Instead, look deeply into their person and remind them of their positives and the differences they make in the world every day.

Be aware of their triggers

You also need to become aware of their triggers. While some trigger factors may be very clear, others may be subtle. When you understand their trigger factors, you can help them avoid these situations and even help them cope with these stressful situations.

Practice grounding activities with them

You can also practice grounding activities with them whenever they are getting antsy or frustrated, especially if they have been triggered. Grounding activities are many in number, and mainly stimulate various senses of the body to bring about calmness.

For example, humming a favorite tune or a favorite song can lead to reduced stress levels. You can also chant affirmations and statements of calm to help them. You can also remind them of these activities through visual cues, like flash cards and even videos.

Do fun activities with them

Another thing that you can do to help someone you care about who has Borderline Personality Disorder is to do fun activities with them. You can take them to a park or simply do a puzzle with them at home.

When you do fun activities like these, your loved one’s self-esteem will improve knowing that others love them for their company. Activities like these can also help in uplifting their mood and reducing stress levels.

Don’t take self-harm lightly

One thing that you need to remember is to never take their self-harming behaviors lightly. Some of these can be very dangerous to their health and may even lead to suicidal attempts later in the future.

Take care of your mental health

The most important thing to remember is to actually take care of your own mental health. Being supportive of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder can be a very stressful ordeal and this may negatively impact your own mental health.

Improving your own mental health will also improve your resilience to face the negative aspects of the other person’s behavior. However, it is also important that you set boundaries with them right from the start to avoid over-clinginess.


In this post, we have given you a checklist that you can use in order to understand if someone you care about has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. We have also discussed the steps that you can take if someone you care about has BPD.

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