Does My Ex-Girlfriend Have BPD? (+5 Things to Expect)
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In this post, we will be answering if your ex-girlfriend has BPD. We will also be discussing what you can expect from an ex-girlfriend who has BPD. In addition to this, we will be listing out a few strategies and techniques that you can use to deal with an ex-girlfriend who has BPD.
Does My Ex-Girlfriend Have BPD?
Your ex-girlfriend may have BPD if she is demonstrating the following signs and symptoms,
- She fell in love with you very quickly
- She could not be left alone
- She needed to know where you are all the time
- She got angry very easily
- You found it difficult to plan occasions
- She took part in unhealthy behaviors
- She got jealous very easily
She fell in love with you very quickly
Those who have Borderline Personality Disorder often tend to fall in love really quickly, really passionately. If your ex-girlfriend has BPD, you might have felt that your relationship got serious very quickly and that she confessed her love for you pretty early on.
She could not be left alone
Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by a high fear of abandonment that the person experiences. This abandonment is often imagined, even in the absence of any major proof or evidence.
As a result of this fear, the person with BPD would fear or become insecure when they are left alone. If your ex-girlfriend found it hard to be left alone, even if you were just going to work or doing something in your routine, she might have BPD.
She needed to know where you are all the time
Those who have Borderline Personality Disorder may constantly need to be reassured that their partner or their favorite person is not abandoning them or leaving them at all times. Due to this thought process they might want to keep tabs on their favorite person always.
If your ex-girlfriend has BPD, she may have required knowing where you are at all times. She might have also constantly texted or called you when you were out, or may have even asked proof of your whereabouts frequently.
She got angry very easily
Anger outbursts in Borderline Personality Disorder are called BPD rage and can also be quite common. These anger outbursts in BPD often come as a result of insecurity or even jealousy at times.
Having an ex-girlfriend with BPD may mean that you would have definitely been the victim of anger outbursts. There may have been verbal abuse, or even physical abuse and throwing things about during these episodes.
You found it difficult to plan occasions
Borderline Personality Disorder strongly affects the romantic relationships of the person, along with other social relationships. Those who have been in romantic relationships with someone who has BPD have confessed that they have had difficulty in planning occasions.
This is mainly because of the high mood instability experienced in Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have had to cancel many occasions and night-outs because of your partner’s mood, your ex-girlfriend may have BPD.
She took part in unhealthy behaviors
Often, those who have Borderline Personality Disorder may take part in a number of unhealthy behaviors as a result of impulsivity and recklessness. These behaviors can include unsafe sex and even indulging in drugs and alcohol abuse.
If your ex-girlfriend had BPD, you might have noticed that she often drives recklessly and even takes decisions on an impulse without thinking about the consequences. Apart from this, she may also have tried to self-harm in the past.
She got jealous very easily
Jealousy is another common trait of Borderline Personality Disorder in relationships. In romantic relationships, one partner being jealous if the other one spends too much time with someone else is completely normal.
However, in Borderline Personality Disorder, this jealousy is quite intense with the person tending to display a number of paranoid ideations. If your ex-girlfriend had BPD, you would have been the victim of high levels of jealousy and insecurity.
What to Expect from an Ex-Girlfriend who has BPD?
If you have recently broken up with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, or had someone with BPD dump you, there are a few things that you need to know about what to expect.
- They might simply come back at any time. One highly possible scenario is that your ex-girlfriend may simply try to get back together with you. Often, breaking up and getting back is a common sign of a BPD relationship cycle.
At the same time, you need to remember that the same cycle of anger, emotional detachment, paranoia, jealousy and insecurity is going to repeat, even if this is the umpteenth chance at your relationship.
- They may demonstrate high levels of anger. If you were the one to initiate the break-up, or if you are not ready to take your ex-girlfriend back, you can also expect to witness terrible anger outbursts and perhaps even physical violence.
- They may perform grand gestures. Making their feelings known through grand gestures is another characteristic trait of people who have Borderline Personality Disorder, especially in romantic relationships.
Don’t be surprised if your ex-girlfriend tries to win you back by performing some grand gesture or some act of love. You can also expect an outburst of anger if you try to thwart or turn down this gesture.
- They may immediately get into another relationship. Another thing what you can expect from an ex-girlfriend who has Borderline Personality Disorder is them getting into another relationship immediately after the breakup.
- They may take part in self-harming. Non-suicidal elf-harming behaviors are quite common in Borderline Personality Disorder, and they can be instigated by an emotional experience like a breakup.
How to Deal with an Ex-Girlfriend who has BPD?
If your ex-girlfriend has Borderline Personality Disorder, the after-effects of the breakup could never have been easy on your or her. In the following points, we have given you a few tips and strategies to deal with an ex-girlfriend who has BPD.
- Don’t feel guilty about the breakup. Being in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder is definitely not an easy thing. Your ex-girlfriend may continue to make you feel worse even after the breakup.
You need to remember that the breakup and their emotions and feelings are not your fault. It is their BPD that makes them act this way. So, don’t feel guilty about the breakup, whether you are the dumper or the one who got dumped.
- Cut off all contact as soon as possible. It is also important to cut off all contact with your ex-girlfriend as soon as you can. This not only includes blocking their number, but even blocking them on social media and avoiding mutual haunts.
- Take care of your mental health. The most important thing that you need to do is to take care of your mental health through self-care routines. This is important since being in a relationship with someone who has BPD can leave you traumatized and exhausted.
You can take care of your mental health through self-care activities and exercises, like journaling, meditation and mindfulness practices. Also, a healthy lifestyle consisting of wholesome food and regular exercise can definitely contribute to your mental health.
If you have the need to do so, you can also try going to therapy and counseling sessions. Here, you will be able to learn more about the effects of Borderline Personality Disorder and eventually let go of the guilt and move on with your life.
Conclusion
In this post, we have answered if your ex-girlfriend has BPD. We have also discussed what you can expect from an ex-girlfriend who has BPD. In addition to this, we have listed out a few strategies and techniques that you can use to deal with an ex-girlfriend who has BPD.
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