Does My Dad Have BPD? (+5 Practical solutions)
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In this detailed post, we will be explaining if your dad has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. Additionally, we will be going through a few tips and strategies that you can use if you are dealing with a father who has BPD.
Does My Dad Have BPD?
Your dad may have BPD if he is depicting the symptoms and behaviors explained as follows,
- His emotions are very intense
- You are very afraid of his anger
- He is highly dependent on his partner
- You can never predict your father’s behavior
- You were never allowed to make a decision on your own
- Your father never made you feel validated
- Your father has depicted violent behaviors
- He has a substance abuse problem
- He has taken part in self-harming behaviors
His emotions are very intense
Borderline Personality Disorder can often lead a person’s emotions to swing from one extreme to another with very little provocation. If your father’s emotions toward you and others have been quite intense, this may be a sign of BPD.
Extreme emotions and thinking can lead a person to love someone highly and value them and immediately hate them when they get some new information. This is often called black and white thinking when it comes to Borderline Personality Disorder.
You are very afraid of his anger
Anger outbursts are also quite common in Borderline Personality Disorder, and perhaps more present in males. Fathers who have BPD often demonstrate a lot of anger outbursts, frequently making their children and their partners scared in their own household.
At the same time, anger outbursts can also be caused by other mental health issues like Intermittent Explosive Disorder, bipolar disorder and even other personality disorders. BPD rage is uniquely characterized by its aim of self-destructiveness and emotional manipulation.
He is highly dependent on his partner
Borderline personality Disorder can present itself quite differently in fathers and mothers. In fathers who have BPD, they may show an excessive dependency on their partner. If your mother is involved, you might see your father being overly dependent on her for everything.
This means that he might also have a high fear of abandonment regarding his partner, and may be afraid to be left alone for even a short period of time. This dependency can actually in many cases, break relationships for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder.
You can never predict your father’s behavior
Another characteristic sign of Borderline Personality Disorder is emotional instability. In case your father has BPD, you might have noticed that you can never really tell or predict his behavior and his next steps.
This type of unpredictable behavior can also lead to a very toxic household where the children live in constant fear of what is going to happen and when. As a result, things which are planned for may never happen, and the members of the family are on the edge of their seat at all times.
You were never allowed to make a decision on your own
Fathers who have Borderline Personality Disorder are not only highly dependent on their partners, but even on their own children. They have an intense fear of being abandoned by their family members.
As a result, they try to make all the decisions for the family, and try to prevent their children from making any decisions on their own. Even if their children are grown-up adults, fathers who have BPD may try to make their kids feel guilty about being autonomous.
If you were constantly vilified for making decisions on your own, even if the situation is all about you, your father might have BPD. Unfortunately, this type of behavior from the father can lead to their children being immature and stunted with poor decision-making skills.
Your father never made you feel validated
Often, fathers who have Borderline Personality Disorder take it very personally when their children express painful feelings and memories. You might have noticed that your father would have never validated your feelings whenever you have tried to open up to him.
This is mainly because of their fear of abandonment. This fear makes people with BPD to actively overlook and avoid talking about painful topics since they feel that talking about such things may lead to a fight with the other person leaving them altogether.
Your father has depicted violent behaviors
Violent behaviors are also frequently seen in Borderline Personality Disorder. For example, during BPD rage, the person may throw things and may even hit people. If your father has frequently demonstrated violent behaviors, this may be because of BPD.
He has a substance abuse problem
Borderline Personality Disorder can also cause a person to indulge in addictive behaviors like substance abuse. Alternately, the person may also take part in dangerous behaviors like reckless driving and even gambling.
He has taken part in self-harming behaviors
Self-harming traits and behaviors can also be seen in those who have Borderline Personality Disorder. If your father has taken part in self-harming behaviors, it may be because of the presence of BPD.
How to Deal with a Dad who has BPD?
If you have a father who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, or even if they are yet to be diagnosed, you need to understand that there is no actual cure for this. The best way to deal with a father who has BPD is simply remember some techniques to cope with this.
A few ways through which you can deal with a father who has Borderline Personality Disorder have been discussed in the section below.
- Learn more about BPD. Perhaps the best thing that you can do when you are dealing with a father who has Borderline Personality Disorder is to simply learn more about the disorder. In doing so, you will be better equipped to deal with its symptoms.
- Set gentle boundaries between you and your dad. You can also set gentle boundaries between you and your dad. You need to do this as soon as possible. It might not be easy to implement and there will surely be some revolting, but it is necessary to heal.
- Take more autonomy for your life. Having a BPD father would have definitely affected your decision-making skills. Thus, as part of your healing journey, you need to start taking more autonomy for yourself and make your own decisions.
- Free yourself from guilt. If you have been raised by a father who has BPD, you might have been made to feel guilty for many of your actions. This guilt can actually stunt your emotional growth as you move into adulthood.
Freeing yourself from guilt actually sounds a lot easier than it is and might take a long time. One way to learn more about guilt and how it affects is to talk to a mental health professional. Introspective activities like journaling can also help in this.
- Practice self-care. Finally, you can also practice self-care on a regular basis to improve your mental health. Self-care activities come in a large variety, but you can choose anything that makes you happy and also challenges you.
Self-care activities can include regular physical exercise, healthy seep routines or even special treats for yourself like spa days and shopping. You can also take an active route for better mental health by going to therapy.
Conclusion
In this detailed post, we have explained if your dad has BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder. Additionally, we have gone through a few tips and strategies that you can use if you are dealing with a father who has BPD.
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