Does kissing cause anxiety?

Does kissing cause you anxiety?

The act of kissing might indeed be associated with feelings of anxiousness and fear for some individuals. Research indicates that the anxiety that one experiences due to kissing can route from the lack of experience or a negative experience of the same in the past.

The fear of kissing can also be referred to as philemaphobia or philemaphobia. An individual must realize that the main cause for experiencing anxiety is the fear associated with kissing another person.

Reasons why people can experience kissing anxiety?

Experiencing anxiousness due to the act or even the thought of kissing can have an adverse effect on one’s romantic relationship or social interactions.

Some possible reasons for people to feel anxious or fearful about kissing are:

Fear of odor

Some individuals might experience a sense of anxiousness about kissing due to a bad body odor. It is very normal for humans to be concerned about bad breath particularly when they are expected to kiss someone that they hold feelings for.

Despite maintaining good and consistent mouth hygiene people might still fear having a bad and unacceptable breath. This can be the main cause of anxiety that stops them from kissing.

Fear of touch

Another reason why one might experience anxiousness due to kissing might be because of fear of touch. people who experience this fear dread being touched by another be it a normal handshake or an intimate kiss.

Kissing might seem to be an act of violation instead of a pleasurable experience for people with the fear of touch.

Considering the nature and the cause of fear such conditions can hamper a person’s ability to form strong connections with their partner.

Fear of germs

Some individuals might experience anxiety due to kissing because of their awareness of the fact that germs can be transmitted through saliva.

Individuals whose anxiety about kissing is connected to the fear of contracting germs may not even like light pecks on the lips or wet kisses.

Fear of vulnerability

Fear about kissing might also route from much complex concerns. People might have concerns over intimacy or vulnerability.

Some individuals are more comfortable with having sexual intercourse as they consider it to be more impersonal than with kissing which is considered as intimate by them.

It is well known that not everybody is looking for a long-term relationship that turns into a lifelong commitment. Individuals who feared this kind of commitment might feel anxious about carrying out an intimate act of kissing.

A learned experience

People might experience anxiety due to kissing if they have had negative experiences with the act in the past. It might involve humiliation, embarrassment, and rejection by a significant other concerning kissing.

Lack of experience

The most common reason to feel anxious about kissing someone else might be due to the lack of experience.

Many people feel that they might be judged about not having had an experience of kissing before or overthink about their performance and the acceptance of the same by someone that they hold feelings for.

 What are the symptoms experienced by kissing anxiety?

Unlike other phobias and anxieties, people who have kissing anxiety might not experience it every day.

Whereas some individuals might experience it daily which can hamper their daily functioning.

The symptoms experienced by people who have kissing anxiety are similar to that of other anxieties such as:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Difficulty in breathing
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Stomach ache
  • Dizziness or Lightheadedness
  • Vomiting or nausea
  • Excessive sweating
  • Restlessness or unsteadiness

Not all individuals experience similar sets of symptoms due to kissing anxiety. Also, the anxiety experienced by individuals due to the act of kissing may differ in severity from mild to severe.

How to manage Kissing anxiety effectively?

Some ways that an individual can try and manage their kissing anxieties are:

Learn the basics

If one feels anxious about kissing you due to the lack of experience they can spend some time learning its basics. Educating oneself about the basics might give an individual a sense of confidence and decrease that anticipatory anxiety about the act.

Breathe and relax

If individuals feel anxious during the act of kissing they must practice some relaxation techniques to calm themselves down and do not make it very obvious that they are uncomfortable which might become a cause of embarrassment or even humiliation in some situations.

A person can carry out deep breathing techniques for a number of counts until they feel calm to face the moment.

Give it time

It is possible that some people feel anxious about kissing because they are mentally not prepared for the kiss. In such situations, it is better to keep away from the act of kissing until it feels right and a person is ready for the intimate moment.

Though it is very normal for everyone to feel anxious before a kiss a very strong feeling of fear could indicate that they aren’t ready yet either with the act or with the person itself.

Under both conditions, it is important for the person to understand acknowledge and reflect upon the reason for anxiousness

Talk about your feelings

As kissing is considered to be an intimate act many people might hesitate to speak about how they feel about it with another.

However, it is important that a person realizes speaking about their feelings or emotions about the act of kissing might help them to reduce anxiousness about the same.

This might involve speaking about one’s feelings with their family or friends with relevant experiences or even seeking professional help.

 What are the other treatment options to deal with kissing anxiety?

In some cases carrying out self-help techniques like the ones mentioned above might not be helpful in dealing with the anxiety that kissing causes in an individual’s life.

Under such situations, it is best in order to adopt some solid professional help with or without prescribed medication.

Some treatment options for the anxiety of kissing could be:

  • Guided counseling by a counselor
  • Psychotherapy
  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy where the therapist tries to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.
  • Antidepressants and tranquilizers as prescribed by a health care professional.


Kissing is seen as a positive sign of love and affection. It is an integral part of many intimate relationships. However, some individuals do experience a sense of anxiety before kissing.

This can be due who a lack of experience or a negative experience in the past. It is important for the person to understand that there are effective ways to deal with their anxiety about kissing.

It is necessary that the person conveys their anxiousness regarding the act to their intimate partner to avoid any misunderstanding.

To deal with the anxiety of kissing effectively it is important for the person to understand the reason for the fear that is causing the anxiety.

Upon learning the reasons for the fear, that person can try and actively work around the trigger and carry out self-cognitive restructuring techniques.

Here they can substitute negative thoughts with more positive ones associated with the act of kissing.

Apart from this individuals can also seek help from health care professionals who can prescribe them some medications that would act as a catalyst along with self-help strategies for dealing with kissing anxiety.

Frequently asked questions (FAQ)

Why do I have anxiety about kissing?

One might experience anxiety about kissing due to the fear of kissing. The fear of kissing is commonly known as philemaphobia or philemaphobia.

This is usually seen in young adults who lack experience of kissing or are afraid of doing something against the traditional, standard, and acceptable morals.

This fear usually subsides with exposure to the respective experience.

Does kissing have any side effects?

Kissing does not have any major health-altering side effects by the act in itself. However, kissing can be a means through which germs may be transmitted from one individual to another. The main agent that causes this transfer of germs is saliva.

It is believed that many diseases can be transmitted through saliva indicating that kissing is a small but significant health risk.

Is tongue kissing healthy?

Kissing cannot be termed as unhealthy as an act. However, it is believed that germs can be transmitted through saliva hence creating a possibility of transfer of some significant diseases.

Researcher Dr.Hartselle also says that tongue kissing uses all the muscles in our face which can burn up to 26 calories per minute.

What happens when you kiss someone for the first time?

Kissing can usually cause one’s body to feel a sense of high which is a result of a rush of adrenaline. one experiences increased heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle tension, and increased blood flow. A similar reaction is seen during a fight or flight situation.

Can a relationship work without kissing?

A lack of kissing does not indicate an end of a relationship. The language of love for each couple may vary. However, for some couples lack of kissing could indicate a problem or conflict in their relationship.


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