Do words make someone feel loved? (5 love languages)
In this blog post, we will answer the question “do words make someone feel loved?”. We will also define love, the various types of love, and the characteristics of love. We will note down the five love languages of love and characteristics of a healthy relationship and provide you with 15 things to say to the person you love to show that you care for them.
Do words make someone feel loved?
Yes, words make someone feel loved and appreciated. When we are appreciated, we feel valued and cherished. Words tell a person that their presence is valued and that they are making a positive difference in that person’s life. It is also one of the five love languages that we will discuss later on.
Words of affirmation also help in communicating love and showing respect and care for the other person. Words have the power to capture the euphoric feeling that people have when they are in love.
What is love?
Love has been described as an intense feeling of affection towards someone or something. The characteristics of love are;
- Mutual respect and admiration
- Unwavering support
- Effective communication
- Eternal and easy attraction
Love is like an addiction. Every human wants more of it! There are hormones in your brain that are produced when you are in love. These hormones trigger euphoria and many other feelings that leaves us yearning for more.
Love in ancient mythology
The Greeks and Romans had very strong mythologies about love. According to them, love is the driving force behind everyone’s actions and the reason people have the way they do. They have different stories between mortals and gods whose love ended tragically.
Their god, Aphrodite/ Venus in Roman, was the goddess of love, fertility, and beauty. She was born sexually attractive and Zeus (Greek god) was afraid that she would be fought for by other gods, so he arranged for her marriage with a humourless and non-romantic god called Hephaestus. Aphrodite was unfaithful, and that did not bother her husband who was overjoyed about getting a beautiful wife.
He even made her jewellery with a girdle that even made her more appealing. Most of the words related to love are coined from Greek words, i.e.,
- Erotic is from the word Eros. erotism is a feeling of sexual desire that eros/cupid incited with his arrow.
- Aphrodisiac is, from the word Aphrodite, the goddess who was irresistible. Aphrodisiac means something that brings sexual desire and excitement.
The types of love that we will discuss are also coined from Greek words.
Types of love
Pragma (enduring love)
This is a mature love bond that develops over a long time. A couple must be committed and show endurance to achieve pragma. Those who experience this type of love are said to “stand in love” and not “fall in love”.
Pragma is shown by showing and seeking effort from your partner, strengthening the bond continuously, and choosing to work with your partner forever.
Philia (affectionate love)
This love happens between friends and family members.it is love without romantic attraction. It is commonly known as “brotherly love”. You show philia by being open and trustworthy, being supportive and engaging in deep conversations.
Storge (familiar love)
This naturally occurring love flows between parents and their children or best friends. Memories encourage long-lasting relationships. Those who experience this love sacrifice their time, themselves and pleasure, share memories and are quick to forgive.
Eros (romantic love)
This is a passionate love that arises from personal infatuation and physical pleasure. You show eros by physical touch, hugging and kissing, and admiring one’s physical and romantic affection.
Ludus (playful love)
This is child-like and flirtatious love, especially at the beginning of relationships. It is characterised by playfulness, flirting and teasing. It involves engaging in fun activities, having whimsical conversations, and having child-like behaviours.
This type of love allows you to take care of yourself and not ignore your personal needs. It helps you to take care of your mental, physical and emotional health, realize your worth and spend time around people who support you.
Mania (obsessive love)
This love is characterised by unwanted jealousy and possessiveness towards someone. An imbalance of eros and ludus causes mania. You can avoid mania by first recognizing the obsessive and jealousy traits, trusting your relationship and putting more effort into yourself versus your partner.
This is the highest form of love. It involves having an empathetic affection towards everyone. People who experience this type of love give their all without expecting nothing in return, being charitable and dedicating their life to better the lives of others. Mother Teresa is remembered and celebrated for her agape love.
The five love languages
The five love languages are:
Words of affirmation
People with this love language value spoken or written words. They need frequent declarations of love, compliments, appreciation, and verbal encouragement. They also value constant texting and social media engagement. Written and spoken declarations of love matter the most to them.
People with this type of love language adore it when their partner wants to actively spend time with them. They yearn for their partners to always want to hang out, actively listen to them, and maintain eye contact. They love spending recreational time with their partners and having meaningful conversations without the distraction of other people, mobile phones or other outside interferences.
People with this type of love language prefer touch to other forms of expressing love. They always desire to be in contact with their partners like holding hands even in public. They enjoy kissing, cuddling and experiencing sexual intimacy.
Physical touch is a way of affirming love for each other and a way of strengthening their bond with their partners. They value the warmth coming from touching, kissing and cuddling. This love language traces back to their childhood when they felt more connected to their parents if they were hugged, kissed or held.
People with this type adore visual symbols of love. They do not consider the monetary value of the gift, but the value and symbolism behind it. They appreciate the thought and effort put into getting the gift and the emotional benefit that comes from gift-giving.
They enjoy gifts that reflect their values and are meaningful to them and not to you.
Acts of service
If this is your love language, you value your partner more when s/he goes out of his/her way and helps you with tasks even when it is not something they enjoy doing. You enjoy it when your partner does things that make your life easier, like taking care of you when you are sick, taking the children to school, washing dishes after you cook and picking you up from work.
People who value this type of love are firm believers of “actions speak louder than words”. Unlike people who love being appreciated by word of mouth, these types of people love to be shown that they are cared for and loved.
Benefits of words in relationships
- They strengthen communication
- They nurture emotional intimacy
- They improve a person’s self-worth
- They improve motivation
Tips for using words effectively to the person you love
Let your words come from your heart. Avoid as much as possible using generic words that can be said by anyone else. Instead, use words that tell them how they make you feel and their importance in your life.
Leave them a note
Thoughtful notes left on the kitchen counter, mirror, bedside table etc go a long way in expressing love. This is a small yet powerful way of expressing love and showing them how much they mean to you.
Affirm them in front of people
Appreciating and giving compliments in front of people makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Be sure not to overdo and embarrass them.
Send a text message
A quick text when they are working is enough to improve their day, even when they are busy and having a hectic day. It also shows that they are prioritized and thought about.
Point out their strengths
This is important, especially if they are going through some challenges. Point out what you really like about them and help them see their value in your life.
15 things to say to the person you love
- You are special to me
- You make me want to be a better person
- I appreciate you
- I love the person I am when I am with you
- I cannot stop thinking about you
- I want to spend a lifetime with you
- I love you more each day
- I miss you when you are not here. You make my life complete.
- I enjoy spending time with you
- When you are happy, I am happy
- You are an important part of my life
- I love you because I can be myself around you
- I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you
- You are the best thing that has ever happened to me
- I want to make you happy, forever
This blog post answered the question “do words make someone feel loved?”. We educated ourselves on what love is, the types of love, and the five love languages. We also noted down the importance of using words in expressing love and tips for using words effectively. Please feel free to comment on the content or ask questions in the comment section below.
Frequently asked questions: things to say to the person who you love
What is a deeper word for love?
Affection, tenderness, warmth, desire, adoration, dotting, passion, yearning, etc
What are the three fundamental qualities of love?
Sternberg’s love triangle suggests passion, intimacy and commitment as the three principal components of love.
Who is a soulmate?
A soulmate is a person with whom you have a feeling of deep connection.it involves intimacy, comfort, love, romance, similarity, etc
What are the five ways to show love?
Acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, and spending quality time.
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Lumen developmental psychology, types of love. Retrieved from https://courses.lumenlearning.com/atd-herkimer-developmentalpsych/chapter/types-of-love/
FTD Fresh, (2020, January 16). The 8 Different Types of Love + the Perfect Combo for You. retrieved from https://www.ftd.com/blog/give/types-of-love
Nguyen J., (2020, October 21). What Are The 5 Love Languages? Everything You Need To Know. retrieved from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-5-love-languages-explained
Gordon S., (2021, December 19). How to Use Words of Affirmation in Your Relationship. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/words-of-affirmation-4783539