Depression of not having friends (reasons why)

In this article, we will be discussing the topic: depression of not having friends. We will be looking at the reasons for not having a good, supportive friend circle, certain general mistakes we all make in friendships that lead to problems, how lack of friends leads to depression, and its impact.

At the end of this article, we will also be answering some frequently asked questions about friendships. 

Depression of not having friends

Having no friends can lead to depression, over time. It makes us feel isolated and lonely. We are humans and social beings. We need some kind of interaction in our daily lives to keep us sane and mentally stable. It affects us mentally and physically as well. Having a close group of friends whom you trust and share a good bond with, is important to feel valued and intentional in times of hardships and difficulties. 

When you don’t have friends to whom you can turn during your bad times, it will gradually lead to being socially withdrawn and anxious. It disables your communication skills and the ability to make new friends. All of these factors have the potential to cause depression eventually. 

However, this being said, every individual is different and has varying thresholds. Some can sit alone and contemplate on things without having a group of people to join them, while some others might constantly need a set of people around them to interact and to connect with. Such individuals will find it especially difficult to go on without a circle of good, understanding, and supportive friends. 

If your friend is going through a tough time with clinical depression, here are some of the best gifts you can give them:

Introvert vs extrovert

The introversion/ extroversion factor is a major game-changer. It plays a huge role in determining the number of friends an individual will have. Extroverts find it rather easy and exciting to meet, talk, and be friends with every other person they meet. On the other hand, introverts like to mostly remain in their own element, accompanied by their stream of thoughts and intrinsic curiosity about anything and everything under the sun. 

Friends for dealing with depression 

Good friends are always valued and never a bad idea. They stick with you through your good times and especially the bad times. They know exactly what to do to bring back your cheer, at most times. A stable and healthy friendship lets you deal with any kind of mental struggle you might be enduring such as depression and anxiety. They ensure to be a safe space for you to vent and to seek healthy support. 

Why don’t you have friends?

There could be several reasons for you not being able to make good friends. Some of the most common ones are as follows:

  • If you are someone who struggles with social anxiety, shyness, or withdrawal, it could be extremely difficult to meet new people and make friends
  • If you are suffering from clinical depression.
  • If your social interests are minimal
  • If you have recently expereinced a major life-changing event such as loss of a job, ending of a relationship, moving out of home, or death of a pet. 
  • If you are a major introvert
  • If you are not able to balance work and social life. 

All these issues mentioned above can be debilitating and easily misunderstood by others around you. Sometimes, even your closest friends can fail to understand your personal struggles and how it is impacting the relationships in your life. The best way to deal is through open, honest, and intentional communication with your friends in case you have a good friend circle. Otherwise, you could take your time to slowly and deliberately get to know people, create a level of comfort with them, and try to make a stable bond of friendship. 

Another common error in our cognitive schemas is faulty assumptions we make about how other people perceive our existence on this earth! We tend to assume that they do not like us or interact with us out of pity. Often, we even fail to notice instances where we might have been genuinely appreciated for our being. So the key is to be aware of our thought patterns and construed beliefs about friendship and people, in general. 


In this article, we discussed the topic; depression of not having friends. We discussed the impact of not having friends and how it could lead to depression, the play of the introvert/extrovert factor, how friends help in dealing with depression, and the common reasons for not having a good friend circle, and the general mistakes we make in our thinking concerning friendships. 

FAQs: depression of not having friends

Is it healthy to have no friends?

Social isolation is terribly unhealthy for any individual. Social isolation leads to severe stress and inhibits the social functioning of an individual. Recent studies have pointed out that if you do not have a good circle of friends, family, or community ties, it can lead to an increase in your mortality rate by fifty percent.  Social isolation is as harmful as excessive smoking or drinking to your health. It makes an individual feel extremely lonely, withdrawn, and inactive. Those individuals who lack a healthy circle of friends will find it difficult to seek help when required and will mostly be socially inept and invisible. 

Why do I feel like I have no friends even though I do?

Good friendships denote good connections. When you are not able to connect with someone spontaneously and without filters, you will inevitably feel comfortable around the person and can be considered as a good friend. It involves the aspect of being able to be yourself around them. However, if you find it hard to be yourself around your friends and if you’re constantly living up to the expectations of your friends, you will soon feel exhausted and frustrated. It will tire you out gradually and you will start to feel disconnected and indifferent towards your friends. This will naturally lead to a lack of personal identity which will bring up severe loneliness and anxiety eventually. 

What causes a person to be lonely?

Loneliness can be attributed to internal as well as external factors. It differs from one person to the other, depending on their life circumstances and the personality traits an individual possesses.  The internal factors include low self-esteem, being self-critical, automatic negative thoughts about oneself as well as others, and excessive self-doubt. Those individuals who lack confidence in themselves often believe that they are unworthy of the attention or care of other people, including their family and friends. This will, over time, lead to self-directed isolation and chronic loneliness. 

Is it okay to not have many friends?

Yes. it is perfectly normal and harmless to not have a huge squad of friends to hang out with or to boast about. You could have a small circle of friends and still be happy with the same. These friends will be your support system throughout and will be there for you through your thick and thin. They could be your high school friends to your college friends. Such people usually help you remain sane and happy with their unconditional regard and love for you, in good times as well as bad times. It is also completely fine if you have grown apart from an old friend or someone with whom you expected a lifelong friendship. People change and priorities shift, over time. Hence, it is natural to lose touch with some friends and create new bonds with other people. 

What is a platonic relationship?

A platonic relationship, in modern times, refers to an affectionate form of relationship in which the sexual aspect does not make any kind of interference even though one might easily assume otherwise. A simple instance of a platonic relationship is a deep, non-sexual, friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes.