Depression after breakup
One of the things a person enjoys most in life is to be in a relationship.
The person loves the company of being with another one, feels cared and protected.
This feeling changes when one of the parties decides to end the relationship, leaving the other party in uncertainty and sadness.
It is normal to express those feelings; the person experiences a period of mourning and then there is the opportunity to meet someone else and follow his life.
The inconvenience arises when the person enters a state of depression and fails to overcome the relationship.
In this guide, you will learn to identify the symptoms of depression after a break and how to overcome it.
What is a Relationship?
A relationship is a love bond that unites two people. The characteristics of a relationship depend on the culture of each place.
In some countries, people in a relationship decide to move before getting married.
In other countries, people who are in a relationship, after a while together, decide to move together.
Depending on whether they decide to move together or not, both people remain side by side because of the feeling they develop towards the person next to them.
When a person is dating another one, they usually express feelings of joy, happiness and protection.
The has someone by its side to trust on a more intimate level than a friendship, feels protected and is with the person with whom it wants to spend the days.
In a couple of relationships, various dynamics occur.
In the western world, one of the principles implicit in couple relationships is monogamy, where each individual has sex with their partner.
In other societies, it is acceptable that, in a relationship, one of the couple or both, have a sexual life beyond dating.
When a relationship ends
One of the most difficult situations that a person in a relationship can go through is that the relationship ends.
It is more difficult when a series of expectations have been placed on the other person when they had an idea of who they were and of all plans that have been made.
Relationships can end for different reasons such as infidelity, non-compatibility; in short, the reasons why one or both of the parties decide to end is something that has an origin in which the couples did not agree with some aspects.
When a relationship ends, the part that did not want to end the relationship suffers a lot.
Begins to express various behaviours so that the other person reconsiders and does not want to end the relationship.
The person who was left in the relationship feels uncertain, sad, does not understand why this is happening, begins to experience the grief.
Griefs are healthy, they are part of life and in various areas, they are experienced as the loss of a job, the death of a loved one and the breakup of a relationship.
The other part, which is the one that decides to end the relationship suffers the same or possibly more.
The person who decides to end the relationship does so after having performed an analysis and makes a decision.
It is difficult for a person to explain why it wants to end the relationship.
Sometimes the person doesn’t want to, but feels at a point in life lost, doesn’t know what it wants or if it wants to be with that person.
Breakups are a difficult process that every person has gone through or will happen at some time in their life, but this does not mean that they will not be able to move forward and maybe find the ideal person.
In this aspect, the important thing is to recognize that the relationship ended, like everything in life that has its expiration date.
When a breakup occurs, there are things where one of the people has a hard time overcoming and does not accept the fact that the relationship ended.
This is not healthy for both the person who does not accept it and for the person who decided to end because there are people who react in different ways at the time the relationship ends.
Some accept it sadly but recognize that everything is over, but others fail to accept and may fall into depression.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), depression is a frequent mental disorder, which is characterized by the presence of sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, sleep or appetite disorders, feelings of guilt or lack of self-esteem.
When depression becomes chronic or recurrent in a person’s life, it can affect a person’s performance in different areas of society.
It affects the work area, personal relationships with family and friends, in short, it affects the ability to develop daily activities.
If depression is not detected and treated on time, it can trigger disastrous results such as suicide.
Depression can be suffered by anyone since it is a disease that does not take into account race, sex or socioeconomic status.
Depression is the leading global cause of disability and affects women more than men.
It is estimated to affect more than 300 million people in the world.
The positive of this is that there are effective treatments for depression.
Depression after breakup
Ending a relationship is an experience that can be traumatic, depending on the circumstances surrounding it.
It is more difficult even when one of the parties does not want to end the relationship.
The person does not accept the fact that everything just ended, that the other person wants to continue their life without being next to someone else.
It should be clarified that there is no diagnostic label for depression due to a breakup, but there are depressions reactive to certain events, and a sentimental break can become a trigger for depression.
It is normal for a person to experience feelings of sadness, loneliness and abandonment after ending a relationship, especially the part that has been left.
The person enters a stage of mourning, each person is different at the time of coping with a breakup.
The grief consists of 5 steps, which are: denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance.
At each stage, certain behaviours are manifested until acceptance, where the person understands that the relationship is over and it is time to move on.
The problem arises when the person fails to get out of any of the phases of grief except acceptance.
The stages of grief do not occur in order, there being people who at the end of the relationship can first experience some of the stages mentioned above.
When the person fails to enter the acceptance stage, it generates great dysfunctionality in the different areas of their life.
The person encloses itself, thinks that life is meaningless if it is not with the other person, understands that cannot be with anyone else but with the person who was in the relationship.
These are common thoughts that a person develops when it have depression after a breakup.
There is no specific time for a person to overcome the emotional breakdown since each person has their rhythm to overcome things, but it can be suspected that the person has depression due to the rupture, the mood that it has during the most of the day.
Behaviours such as loss of interest in activities, sleep disturbance and loss of appetite, are some of the most common behaviours that a person can manifest when they have depression after a breakup.
The person who has depression after a breakup can also present cognitive distortions, which make people see their future and their person negatively and hopelessly.
Several of these alterations occur during grief, but when they occur more frequently and with greater intensity, one can speak of depression.
How to overcome depression after a breakup
It is difficult for a person to overcome depression after a breakup.
Each person has time to do it and that must be respected, but there are some guidelines that the person can take to get over depression after breakup.
The least a person wants to do when their relationship ends are to date others and meet people.
Isolation is not good and the best thing in these cases is not to lock yourself up and talk to others.
Family members and friends are people who will want the best.
It is good for the person to open up, express their feelings and listen to the opinions of people who only want their improvement.
Do various activities
When a person has depression after a breakup, he has no desire to perform the activities he used to do with joy and responsibility.
Everything loses meaning and is locked.
The best thing the person can do is try to do it again gradually.
Focusing the mind on other things helps divert attention to the break.
Don’t ignore the pain
There are people who after the relationship ends, decide to ignore the feelings they feel at the moment.
It is good to distract the mind and focus on doing other things, but sadness is a normal emotion.
You have to allow certain moments to express the pain you feel.
After a sentimental break, the feelings that accompany him are normal and professional help is not needed in many cases.
But when this becomes depression, it is best to go to experts in the area who can provide a hand to overcome depression.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
FAQs about depression after a breakup
Does the person pretend to be depressed to get the attention of the person who decided to end the relationship?
There are situations where the person who was left in the relationship decides to pretend in to draw the attention of the other party, but in many cases, it is not.
The person who does not know how to deal with the emotional breakdown begins to manifest symptoms similar to those of depression, causing to develop it if it is not treated in time.
How long does depression last after a breakup?
Each person is different and has different abilities to overcome a break and move on.
Some people overcome a breakup in a matter of weeks, another in months and some in years.
The important thing about the process is for the person to recognize the symptoms that are normal after the breakup.
There is a difference between feeling sad about the breakup than having depression about it.
The first is normal, the feeling of sadness and not being next to the person you love, while in the second when the symptoms are entrenched, they are more intense and have a long duration, we are talking about depression.
What to do if I do not accept the fact that my ex-partner is dating another person?
It is hard for the person to see its ex-partner is making its life next to another person, but the person has to accept it.
Breakups are difficult, but a person can’t force anyone.
It is best to remember the beautiful aspects of the relationship and understand why it did not work.
I am afraid of having depression again after a breakup, how to deal with this feeling?
It is normal to be afraid because of having depression after a breakup, but this does not mean having to deal with this fear forever.
Fear is present in people’s lives, it is scary to make certain decisions, but the fact of feeling fear is no excuse to open feelings to another person.
Being in a relationship is what tells the person if the one that is dating is the one or not.
Do all people have to go through depression after a breakup?
No, not everyone has depression after a breakup.
A person who manifests a depression after a breakup is because they have not overcome their grieving process.
The person stagnates, sees no hope and understands that will not overcome it.
In this guide about depression after the breakup, we delve into how the disease can develop because one of the parties decides to end the relationship.
The pain and sadness that both can experience are strong and more when one of the parties does not accept them.
Overcoming a break has its duel, but when it is not achieved it is important to seek help.
Relationships occur and end day by day, the important thing is to recognize it and move on.
- Breakups: Stop Feeling Lonely, Depressed and Sad After A Breakup
- Relationship Breakup Help: How to Stop Being Depressed After Breaking Up and Feel Better Again
- You Can Heal Your Heart
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What we recommend for depression
If you are suffering from depression then ongoing professional counselling may be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.