Depression after a visit from my long-distance relationship partner


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Page last updated: 28/10/2022

Depression after a visit from my long-distance relationship partner

This article will center on discussing how you can feel depressed after your partner, with whom you have a long-distance relationship, visits. Aside from that, the article will show ways you can cope with it.

Is it normal to feel depressed after a visit when you are in a long-distance relationship?

Yes, it is normal to feel depressed after you spend time together with your partner with whom you have a long-distance relationship. Being in a long-distance relationship is hard. You may spend days, weeks, and sometimes even months talking about all the things you want to do together.

And when the time finally arrives, you probably had so much fun together that it all went by really fast and you are back at saying goodbye again. You may have lived through such fulfilling days with your partner, that when they are gone your life can feel empty.

You may feel so sad, and like there is no reason to do anything, anymore. And even getting out of bed can seem impossible. Going back to your life as it was, without their physical presence can be unbearable. And you can feel like sleeping until it is the time for the next visit.

If you are feeling like that, know that it is completely normal. Long-distance relationships are difficult and having the person close can be so amazing, that just the thought of being apart again destroys you. So if you are feeling depressed after their visit, know that there are some things you can do to cope.

How can I cope with depression after a long-distance relationship visit? 

After your partner visits, going back to your regular life can seem bleak. You may feel it is hard to do the simplest things. But here are some ways you can feel better.

Allow yourself to feel 

Even though it may be hard, you may just want to distract yourself from it, knowing it is important to allow yourself to feel the pain of the goodbye. No one is telling you to cry for days, but letting your feelings out in the first couple of days is important. 

Cry if you need to, take some time to not do too much. You may want to not have a lot of plans for the day your partner leaves. It will be an emotional moment that you should take for yourself. With time it will get better.

Try to think of positive things when saying goodbye 

As the day of their leaving comes, you can feel your heartbreaking. This can drag through the whole day. And even though it is a difficult moment, you can try to make it better.

Enjoy this last day you have together, and you can also create a positive farewell tradition. You can exchange love notes before they leave. Or each of you will put a little something for the other as a surprise to be found after you are apart.

Those things won’t make saying goodbye a happy experience. But it will make you look forward to something, even in their absence, and this can be a way to not feel so sad.

Depression after a visit from my long-distance relationship partner

Keep in touch and when you can, go back to video calls

Keeping in touch, even when you are apart is important to still get the sense you are in each other’s lives. The first few days right after the goodbyes are usually the hardest, so try to talk as much as you can.

To some people in those first few days making a video call can be hard. They can be so sad, that they can feel like they will just cry the whole time. So try to understand what is the best way for you to keep in touch in those first few days, and when it feels like it will be a positive experience, do a video call.

Seeing them again will make you feel happier, and help you understand that you are going through that because on the other side there is someone that is going through the same thing, and you love each other deeply.

Plan your next meeting 

Having a plan for the next meet-up will always make the goodbyes easier. Planning it together will make it all even more special. Talk about where you want to go, and what are the things you want to do together.

Looking at maps and photos to get new ideas of what to do will keep the visit exciting. And planning everything will take away some of the sadness of just being apart. You will be able to focus more on what is coming, than what has just happened.

Talk about how you feel  

Understand that it is normal to feel sad after your partner leaves. A sense of depression is even expected, but know that even though they have left, you still have your life, and little by little you should get back to it.

Although you may feel like doing anything, isolating yourself will only make things harder. Try to talk about your feelings with your friends, your partner, or sometimes even a therapist. Talking about it will allow your sadness to not harm other areas of your life such as work.

Share about the visit with your friends

Talking to your friends and loved ones about how those days together were can be extremely important. When you are in a long-distance relationship it may be hard to make your partner a part of your other relationships. So when you share with them it is like you are integrating both of these worlds.

Aside from that, reminiscing can also be a great way to look fondly at the things you both just lived together.

Focus on your self-care 

Caring for yourself during this period is extremely important. Get a massage, go to a new restaurant you always wanted to try. Pamper yourself in a way that will make you feel good. By doing so, your brain will release some of those happy neurotransmitters that will improve your mood.

Open yourself to something new 

Of course, it is fun to do things with your partner, but being able to see that there is still a lot of fun to be had, even when they are away, is essential. 

Try to discover a new hobby, or try a new activity. Not only will you feel good about all you have done, but you will also be able to share with them all these new experiences you are having.

Understand there is no replacement

As your partner leaves, you may want to try and find a friend or family member that would do with you the things your partner would. Unfortunately, this may be hard, if not impossible to find.

There is no replacement for a person, and that is what makes relationships so special. So you may miss doing something you would do with your partner. But try to take what you can from this time apart, so there is a lot more to share on your next visit.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Is it normal to feel depressed after a visit when you are in a long-distance relationship? 

Is it okay to be sad when I am in a long-distance relationship? 

Yes, it is extremely normal for you to have moments of sadness because you are away from your partner. After all, you have chosen them to be in a relationship even though they are far away. This says a lot about the feelings you have for them.

So it can be, at times, that not being able to share some things, or going through some of life’s difficult moments apart, can make you feel sad. What shouldn’t happen is that you are sad all the time, or even that you are sad because the relationship hasn’t been good to you.

How often should I visit my boyfriend since we are in a long-distance relationship? 

Each couple will often find their balance and discover what their relationship needs. But it is common to try to visit one another every two weeks, or once a month tops. Of course, this isn’t always possible, the COVID-19 pandemic, for example, made it impossible for people to travel.

So try to see each other as you feel it is positive to your relationship, and needs, without making it something that will lead to a lot of stress.

What makes a long-distance relationship end? 

Long-distance relationships will often end if you start comparing them to other relationships. This will only lead you and your partner to feel bad for all the things you can’t give the other. Aside from that, being intimate with another person can also take a toll on your relationship. 

Not working on it so it is not boring will also have an impact. Try to fund creative ways to leave things interesting even in the distance. Another problem that can become even bigger when in a long-distance relationship is not communicating properly. 

Along with that, being more in love with the idea of love can harm you. You should always try to keep in mind that love has its difficulties. Not giving your partner enough time, or giving them too much can also be a problem. If you do too much, you may lose yourself, too little can lead you to feel disconnected.

Should I act as if I am single when I am away from my boyfriend since we are in a long-distance relationship?

It depends on what you are calling, acting like I am single. Being with other people shouldn’t happen if that is not the agreement you have with your boyfriend. But if you are in a long-distance relationship, you may want to act single when doing things you like.

For example, you shouldn’t wait for your boyfriend to go to a restaurant you like or a museum you want to go to. Doing things you are interested in, even when your boyfriend is away, is an important tool for making a long-distance relationship work.

What is the biggest red flag of a long-distance relationship?

The biggest red flag of a long-distance relationship is when your partner constantly writes to you and keeps demanding you to tell them where you are, who you are with, and even send pictures from the place you are in.


This article explained why you may feel depressed after the visit of your partner with whom you are in a long-distance relationship. Aside from that, the article showed what are ways to cope.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.