How to deal with someone with Victim Mentality? (5 ways to help)

This article will discuss ways to deal with someone with Victim Mentality and explore what Victim Mentality is.

How to deal with someone with Victim Mentality?

Dealing with those with Victim Mentality is a bit challenging. The challenge with coping with someone with a victim mentality is that they probably don’t want any support and will respond negatively to any efforts to alter their actions or attitude.

There is also the possibility that he will suspect the helper of deliberately causing distress. And therefore, it is necessary for you to acknowledge the danger of explicit or implicit prejudice and to be very cautious to avoid the possibility of simply pointing them out.

Be careful to avoid attempting to perform a mental health care practitioner’s role; you will be out of your depth quickly.

The following steps can help us deal with someone with Victim Mentality:

 Identifying signs of Victim Mentality

• Frequently blaming others when things go wrong
• Conversations tend to be centered around them, expecting that others would feel sorry
• Refuse to admit that they are enjoying fun group activities
• Often might imply that people have easy access to success due to the preferential treatment
• Seems to attract an unreasonable amount of drama and unhappiness
• After subtle shows of passive-aggressive resistance, they may consent to carry out tasks or demands.

 Set clear goals and boundaries

Part of the stigma surrounding the mindset of a victim relates to how individuals often blame others for problems or guilt-trip them for things that have not worked out. Drawing boundaries will help if they appear judgmental or confrontational against you and others.

Offering support to find solutions

You may want to safeguard your loved one from circumstances where they may feel victimized further. This can drain your emotional energy, however, and can make the situation miserable.

A better choice could be to assist. Within three stages, you can do this:

• Recognize their certainty that they can’t do anything about the situation.

• Ask them what they might do if they had anything to do with power.

• Help them brainstorm alternative ways to achieve the task.

Give inspiration and affirmation.

Your concern and inspiration may not contribute to drastic improvement, but they can still make a difference. 

 Try:

• Pointing out stuff that they are fantastic at

• Highlighting their successes

• Reminding them of your kindness

• Validating their emotions

Labeling

Labels aren’t necessarily helpful. A uniquely coded label is “Victim.” It is best not to refer to anyone as a victim or to claim that they are behaving like a victim.

Opt to somehow bring up certain attitudes or emotions that you consider, such as:

• Complaining

• Transferring blame

• Not admitting liability

• Feeling trapped or inept,

• Feeling like nothing makes a difference.

• Starting a conversation will potentially allow them to share their feelings constructively.

What is Victim Mentality?

The victim’s mentality is a natural way to look at life, an implicit disposition towards incidents in one’s life when the short end of the stick is wrongly gained or taken advantage of. In coping with situations, this mentality leads one to feel helpless. It also makes sure that it is never their mistake, no matter what. Since people are and behave in accordance with the way they see the world, a person with such a mentality will be a victim and act like a victim.

 The mindset of victims depends on three main beliefs:

• Bad things happen, and they will continue to happen.

• Other individuals or factors are to blame.

• Any attempt at bringing about change would fail, so there is no point in attempting.

In pop culture and everyday discussion, the notion of the victim mindset is tossed around a lot to apply to individuals who tend to wallow in negativity and impose it upon others.

It’s not a formal medical word. Currently, due to the stigma regarding it, most health practitioners avoid it. People who feel stuck in a state of victimization frequently show a lot of negativity, but it is important to note that this mentality is often fuelled by significant pain and discomfort.

Signs of Victim Mentality

 Avoiding Responsibility

 This may entail:

• Placing blame somewhere else

• Make justifications

• Not assuming liability

• Responding to most challenges in life with “It’s not my mistake.”

Bad things often happen, even to people who didn’t do anything to deserve it. It’s acceptable that individuals who face one obstacle after another may begin to feel that the world is out to get them. Someone who fails to recognize those factors will not learn from the mistakes or develop from it and could again potentially face the same situation.

 Not finding feasible solutions

Not all unpleasant conditions, even though they appear that way at first, are uncontrollable. There is also at least a minor behavior that could lead to enhancement.

People who come from a victimization position may show little interest in attempting to make changes. They may decline assistance offers, and it may seem like they are only interested in feeling sorry for themselves.

A feeling of impotence

Many individuals who feel victimized assume that they lack the authority to improve their situation. They don’t want to feel oppressed and would want things to go well for them.

Yet life keeps throwing situations at them that they can do little to excel or avoid from their viewpoint.

Negative and self-sabotaging self-talk

The negative messages implied by the struggles they face can be internalized by people living with a victim mindset.

 Feeling victimized will lead to beliefs like:

• “Everything terrible is happening to me.”

• “I can’t do anything about it, so why should I try it? 

• “The bad things that happen to me I deserve.”

• “No one is interested in me.”

These unhelpful ideas can be compounded with each new challenge until they are firmly rooted in their inner monologue. Negative self-talk can harm resilience over time, making it more difficult to come back from difficulties and recover.

Negative self-talk also goes with self-sabotage hand in hand. It is also easier for people who trust their self-talk to live it out. If the self-talk is negative, any efforts they could make at progress will be more likely to unintentionally undermine them.

Lack of faith in oneself

With self-confidence and self-esteem, people who see themselves as victims will struggle. This can make victimizing emotions stronger.

They will think things like, “I’m not smart enough to get a better job” or “I’m not talented enough to succeed.” This mindset will prevent them from trying to improve their abilities or finding new talents and weaknesses that might contribute to the betterment.

Resentment, frustration, and anger

 The mentality of a victim will take a toll on emotional well-being.

 People who have this mentality might feel:

• Angry and disappointed with a society that seems against them

• Hopeless about their situations never improving

• Hurt because they believe that loved ones don’t care for them 

• Resentful of individuals who appear to be comfortable and successful

When they are not handled, these feelings can weigh heavily on people who assume they will still be victims, building, and festering. Over time, these emotions could lead to:

• Outbursts of Anger 

• Depression

• Alienation

• Solitude

Causes of Victim Mentality

Trauma from the past

To an outsider, those with Victim Mentality might seem too dramatic. But in response to true victimization, this mentality also evolves. It may emerge as a way of dealing with trauma or violence. This finding can be made more probable by facing one unfavorable situation after another.

Betrayal

Deception of trust, especially repeated betrayals, can also make individuals feel like victims and make it difficult for them to trust others.

Codependence

Alongside codependency, this mentality may also grow. To help their partner, a codependent individual may compromise their objectives. As a consequence, without recognizing their position in the situation, they could feel irritated and resentful about never having what they need.

Manipulation

Some individuals who take on the victim’s position may seem to want to blame others for problems they create, strikeout, and make others feel bad or exploit others for sympathy and attention.

BetterHelp: A Better Alternative

Those who are seeking therapy online may also be interested in BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers plenty of formats of therapy, ranging from live chats, live audio sessions and live video sessions. In addition, unlimited messaging through texting, audio messages and even video messages are available here.

BetterHelp also offers couples therapy and therapy for teenagers in its platform. Furthermore, group sessions can also be found in this platform, covering more than twenty different topics related to mental health and mental illness. The pricing of BetterHelp is also pretty cost-effective, especially considering the fact that the platform offers financial aid to most users.

Conclusion

This article discussed ways to deal with someone with Victim Mentality and explored what Victim Mentality is.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

FAQ: How to deal with someone with Victim Mentality?

Citation

• Legg, T. (2019, December 11). How to Identify and Deal with a Victim Mentality. Retrieved November 5, 2020, from https://www.healthline.com/health/victim-mentality
• Biron, W., Biron, B., Contributor, B., Rodman, W., Rodman, D., Caraballo, W., . . . Scarano, A. (2019, May 02). How to Escape a “Victim Mentality.” Retrieved November 05, 2020, from https://www.talkspace.com/blog/deal-with-victim-mentality/
• The Mind Tools Content Team By the Mind Tools Content Team, Team, T., Wrote, M., & Wrote, J. (n.d.). Managing a Person With a Victim Mentality: Dealing With Team Members Who Won’t Take Responsibility. Retrieved November 05, 2020, from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/managing-victim-mentality.html
• Granger, K. (2017, August 17). How To Deal with the “Victim Mentality” in Others. Retrieved November 05, 2020, from https://medium.com/personal-growth/dealing-with-the-victim-mentality-in-others-a9d6f2270f72