Dating someone with depression – (the other side)
By
OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this short guide, “Dating someone with depression” we are going to discuss the process of a person who is dating someone who suffers from depression and how it can address the situation.
When a person has depression, people around like family, friends and a romantic partner are involved in a difficult situation through which a person with depression passes.
Depression
Depression is described as a state of mind, in which the person suffering from it experiences feelings of sadness and anger, interfering with their daily activities.
Depression is a disease that does not discriminate based on sex, age, economic level or personal history, anyone is prone to depression.
Depression is a disease that can interfere with people’s ability to make a living, perform activities they previously found as simple and damage relationships.
When a person has depression, the disorder not only affects itself, but it affects the people around such as family, friends and a romantic partner.
In some cases, the couple of the person who has depression tends to suffer more since in some cases, both may be living together and a person who does not know about depression or does not know how to help their partner can be locked up since they do not know what to do.
Symptoms of depression
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), a person with depression has the following symptoms:
• Depressed mood most of the day, almost every day. The person experiences feelings of sadness, emptiness and hopelessness.
• Loss of interest in almost or all activities performed.
• Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day.
• Decreased ability to think or concentrate, or to make decisions almost every day.
• Thoughts of recurrent deaths, recurrent suicidal thoughts without a determining plan, suicide attempt or a specific plan to carry it out.
How does depression affect the other person in the relationship?
A person who is dating someone with depression also suffers.
In an article published by Psychology Today, explains what the feelings are expressed by men and women when they are dating someone with depression.
The article details that man, being someone who seeks to solve things and see that in this situation has no control, experiences feelings of frustration.
Instead, the woman, being with someone suffering from depression makes her feel that there is a disconnection with her partner.
Seeing that the person cannot communicate their feelings, the woman feels that there is a lack of communication.
Regardless of gender, a person who is dating someone with depression is in a difficult situation.
In many cases, the person who is in the relationship is not aware of what their partner might be going through and misunderstand the symptoms.
The previous statement emphasizes the importance of raising awareness about these types of disorders, since, according to the World Health Organization, depression is one of the main causes of health and disability worldwide, where more of 300 million people live with the disease.
Knowing these figures allows the person today to be able to identify more quickly and effectively when someone in their environment suffers from depression and offer the necessary support.
How a person can help their partner in case of depression?
There are a number of actions that the person can take to help its partner in the fight of depression with the goal of seeking medical help for its recovery.
It is important to note that this process takes time, for the person suffering from depression it is difficult to take the step and it requires a lot of support and patience to get out of this.
Some of the actions that the person can carry out are:
Understand the situation the person is going through
Knowing depression and the symptoms it presents is a way of understanding what your partner is going through.
If the symptoms of this disease are not known, the other person may have a misconception about what happens to their partner.
It is important to document, read and research about the disease.
Listening to what the couple feels is an important step in understanding what is happening.
Don’t overreact about been positive
One of the worst things a person can do when trying to help someone with depression is to fill it with expressions charged with exaggerated positivism.
Some of these are: “Life is good”, “Do not get depressed for anything”, “You are lucky”, and the like.
Depression goes beyond a mere perception about things, it is a complex disease that involves biological, cultural and medical conditions.
Do not take things personally
For a person who has a partner who suffers from depression, it is difficult to have to cope with behaviours he or she performs, among them is the use of an offensive vocabulary towards the other person.
The person should know that the negative comments that its partner could use against are not personal.
It reacts like this because of the symptoms of the disease. Remember that depression is not a mood, but a disease.
Communication
Communication will always be one of the best strategies when it comes to helping someone.
Listening to what someone feels gives an idea of how you can help.
The person who is dating someone with depression must be understanding and provide the confidence that the significant other requires so that they can open and express what they feel.
The more the person with the disease speaks, it will be easier for its partner to be able to provide the help it needs.
FAQs about Dating with someone with depression
Does a person choose to have depression?
A person does not choose to have depression, and in many cases, it is not aware that it is immersed in the disease.
They may feel that it is normal for what is going through, making it difficult to open up to others and seek help.
What happens to a person when it suffers from depression?
The person suffering from depression manifests a state of recurring sadness.
Although sadness is normal in all human beings, when it remains prolonged, in weeks or months, in conjunction with other symptoms such as dejection, unhappiness, guilt and not enjoying daily activities, we are talking about depression.
What should a person do when they discover they are dating someone with depression?
When a person discovers that is dating someone with depression, they must adopt a posture of support and patience.
It is difficult for a person to date someone with depression, but much more is for the person who has it.
Showing support and being patient during the process is one of the things someone can do for their partner if they are dating someone suffering from the disease.
Is it right to end the relationship even when the other person has depression?
Ending a relationship is never easy for both parties, but in the case that one of the two suffers from depression it makes it more difficult.
It will be hard for the person with depression deal with the situation since it does not feel well in other aspects of life.
Ending a relationship with a person suffering from depression does not make the ending part a bad person.
It is normal for a relationship to end, which is given by various factors.
In this case, it is good to keep in mind that, at the time of the person ending the relationship, the action should be done calmly, expressing clearly the points for which decided to make the decision.
It is important to inform the family and people close to the person suffering from depression that the relationship is over.
What to do if the person suffering from depression refuses their partner’s help?
A person suffering from depression suffers a lot from the situation that is happening.
While it is true that the person wants to help their partner, they should not force and want to “fix it.”
It has been studied and concluded that people who insist and put pressure on wanting to help their partner to get out of depression, make their illness worse.
It is best to take a position of understanding and patience.
Talking with your partner and making understand that you are there without any pressure makes it easier to open up and be more receptive to help.
Conclusion
In this quick guide, we discuss what it is like to date someone with depression.
It is not easy both for the person who suffers it and for the person next to.
The person who has a partner who suffers from depression in many cases may feel useless because does not know how to help so their significant other can overcome the disease.
In this whole situation of dating someone with depression, it is important to adopt a posture of understanding and patience.
The process is not fast.
It is essential to make see the person with depression that is not alone, it has people who support and wants the best for their well-being, especially their significant other.
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