Even for couples where none of the partners has any health problems, some issues are unavoidable in relationships; things get a little more complicated if one of the partners has anxiety.
It can be hard when you love someone with anxiety.
However, you should not despair – there are ways to deal with the problems caused by anxiety.
In this article, “Dating someone with anxiety,” we will give you some tips, which can be helpful.
Things you should not do when you are dating someone with anxiety
First of all, there are things you should not do when you are dating someone with anxiety. Here are some of them:
- Criticize your partner for anxiety,
- Try to change your partner,
- Reject his/her anxiety,
- Take everything personally,
- Coddle him/her too much,
- Lose your patience when the anxiety flickers,
- Recommend drugs for their anxiety (instead of it, you should take him/her to a psychiatrist).
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is the body’s natural response to stress, a feeling of unease, such as worry and fear of what is ahead.
If your anxiety lasts more than six months, it can mean that you have an anxiety disorder.
Symptoms of Anxiety
To know for sure if with what your partner struggles with is anxiety, you should know the common symptoms of anxiety:
- Increased heart rate,
- Rapid breathing,
- Trouble sleeping,
- Muscle tension.
- Concentration problems,
- Panic attacks,
7 Tips in Case You are Dating Someone with Anxiety
Here are some tips that may be helpful for you if your partner has anxiety:
Learn about anxiety
If you want to support your partner, you need to learn about anxiety to understand him/her better, knowing how anxiety feels like.
The main types of anxiety are:
- General anxiety disorder,
- Social anxiety,
- Panic attacks.
Be a thoughtful listener
Communication is essential for any relationship; however, it is more important when you date someone with anxiety.
To build a relatively healthy and supportive relationship, you should develop and practice open and honest communication.
Ask open questions and let your partner talk; listen attentively without interruption. It will make your partner feel cared for and loved.
Do not take things personally
It can be easy to find links between your partner’s anxiety and fear connected to your relationship.
However, it does not mean it is about you. The uneasiness, panic, and nervousness can be symptoms of anxiety.
Instead of assuming it is all about you, you should be honest and ask your partner about the reasons.
Do not judge or criticize your partner’s anxiety
You should not criticize your partner for being unstable, when he/she acts in a way that seems irrational for you, like yelling or crying.
You should keep calm not to worsen the situation, as your partner is already worried about his/her condition, thinking you may leave him/her because of that, so, pointing his/her irrational behavior, can deepen anxiety symptoms.
Dating with someone with anxiety, you should set boundaries too besides being patient and understanding.
As soon as you understand how anxiety affects your partner’s behavior, you can weaken the behaviors, which are hard for you to bear.
Manage your anxiety
Anxiety can be contagious, so you should learn ways to manage your anxiety.
You can go to yoga classes, meditate, practice physical, breathing, and relaxing exercises, or meet a psychotherapist to get professional help and support.
Do not become your partner’s therapist
Naturally, you want to support your partner fully.
However, you should remember that you cannot and should not become his/her therapist.
You can be with him/her and support; nevertheless, you should suggest getting professional support as well (meeting a psychotherapist, psychiatrist, or another mental health professional); it will be useful for both of you, and your relationship.
“Anxiety is love’s greatest enemy. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
― Anais Nin
“After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. However, love does not bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it is a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it is sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we are doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony.”
― Paulo Coelho
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie Ten Boom
“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.”
“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.”
― C. H. Spurgeon
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”
― Søren Kierkegaard
“Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it does not get you very far.”
― Jodi Picoult
The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do.
― Wayne Dyer
Physical comforts cannot subdue mental suffering, and if we look closely, we can see that those who have many possessions are not necessarily happy. Being wealthy often brings even more anxiety.
― Dalai Lama
The act of birth is the first experience of anxiety, and thus the source and prototype of the affect of anxiety.
― Sigmund Freud
Man, so long as he remains free, has no more constant and agonizing anxiety than find as quickly as possible someone to worship.
― Fyodor Dostoevsky
It would be great to be able to pass on to someone all of the successes, the failures, and the knowledge that one has had. To help someone, avoid all the fire, pain and anxiety would be wonderful.
― Sylvester Stallone
“Anxiety is terrible, you could be having an attack, and no one would even know because it is an inward thing. It feels like you are malfunctioning, and you cannot process your thoughts. You get a knot in your stomach, and you cannot take a full breath, but outwardly, you can literally sit there and look completely normal, as long as no one tries to speak to you.”
“Anxiety makes you sit there and overthink every single thing. At times it makes you think people in your life are leaving you. You begin to feel abandoned, and not worth anything because the most important people in your life do not want you.”
\”The thing about an anxiety disorder is that you know it is stupid. You know with all your heart that it was not a big deal and that it should roll off of you. However, that is where the disorder kicks in. Suddenly the small things are huge, and it keeps growing in your head, flooding your chest, and trying to escape from under your skin. You know with all of your heart that you are ridiculous, and you hate every minute of it.”
Recommended books and sources
- Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner
- Dating Someone with Anxiety: What You Need to Know and Do
- Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner
- HFNE “Anxiety”
- HFNE “Social Anxiety”
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
Dating someone with anxiety may be challenging, however, if you love your partner and are willing to stay and support him/her, you should at first learn about anxiety, and develop open communication with your partner.
You can also try the tips we gave above; they may be helpful to support your partner, and build a healthy relationship.
Please feel free to comment on the content or ask any questions in the comments section below.
What we recommend for curbing Anxiety
Below are some of the services and products we recommend for anxiety
- Anxiety Weighted Blankets are by far the number 1 thing every person who suffers from anxiety should at least try. Anxiety Blankets may improve your sleep, allow you to fall asleep faster and you can even carry them around when chilling at home.
- Online therapy is another thing we should all try. We highly recommend Online therapy with a provider who not only provides therapy but a complete mental health toolbox to help your wellness.
- With over 50,000 participants, this anxiety course may be just what you need to regain control of your life.
- Amber light therapy from Amber lights could increase the melatonin production in your body and help you sleep better at night. An Amber light lamp helps reduce the amount of time it takes you to fall asleep and increases overall sleep quality.
- Thing to Know if You are Dating Someone with Anxiety
- Dating Someone With Anxiety: What You Need to Know and Do