Dating Someone Who Puts You Down(+3 insights)

This article will explain the ways in which your partner may put you down for different reasons that will also be discussed in this article. Furthermore, the article will look at what signs point to when it is time to move on from the relationship.

Dating Someone Who Puts You Down – How?

How does someone you are dating putting you down? This section of the article will point to various ways they will put you down that include the following:

  • Always Demand More
  • Make You Feel Like A Problem They Handle
  • You Are Always Wrong
  • Don’t Recognize Your Efforts
  • Make Others Around You Feel Special

Let us take a look at each of the ways how your partner puts you down!

Always Demand More

Your partner is never happy with you. They think you need to do more and more to actually make them happy. Issues with how you look, dress, talk or even manage your work and home routine will be constant areas of discussion that are directed at highlighting your faults and inefficiencies. Your partner will tell you to act, talk and feel in a certain way instead of navigating through issues with you.

When it comes to discussing problems they will ask you to make more sense or you to clarify the issue instead of doing anything themselves. The person you are dating won’t try to make things better themselves but throw questions at you with no solid logic. 

The result of such behavior by the person you are dating leaves a bad effect on you. You will feel like you are not good enough and this will cause your self confidence to dwindle. Issues that you could handle or talk about will feel impossible to counter or talk about. Furthermore, your efforts will decrease and the relationship will take a sharp turn for the worse. Instead of recognizing your mental state, your partner will bat a blind eye towards it and point out the faults in you rather than trying to make things better. This is one of the ways they put you down!

Make You Feel Like A Problem They Handle

One of the ways someone you date can put you down is to make you feel as if you are the problem in the relationship. On top of that, they will make you feel as if they are putting up with you and it is taking a toll on their mental and physical health. This is usually an over exaggeration of the situation!

Every relationship goes through problems and it is because of the differences that exist between two people. However, when these differences are sources of competing with each other, blaming the other person or judging who is doing how much rather than focusing on how to minimize the differences, then it becomes a problem.

In this case your partner will make you feel that your needs, feelings and demands are the issues whereas they may actually be justified. Hence, this is another way the person you are dating puts you down.

You Are Always Wrong

Yes you are always wrong. They will never admit that you make a good point or appreciate your way of handling things. They will only throw the problem at you by saying you were wrong and this is why we ended up in this situation. Such people will not take responsibility for a problem or issue. Rather, they will blame it on the person they date and hence put them down.

Don’t Recognize Your Efforts

They do not appreciate you. If you take them out for dinner, miss out important things from your schedule to spend time with them or do things that they have specifically stated makes them happy, they will stay deny that you do anything for them! Outrageous right? Such individuals have the audacity to spill water over your efforts and if you do catch them in their lies they will twist and turn the argument to still make you seem wrong.

Not only do they twist the entire argument, they do not reward you for what you do for them even if it means a few words of praise or a simple hug. They are creating an environment for a relation where there is no recognition or praise for the other party and this will cause much damage to the relation in the long term if not in the short term. This is because human nature comes into play and we, as intimate creatures, require love, attention, praise and acceptance.

Make Others Around You Feel Special

This is easy to spot because of the severe effects it has on you. They won’t make you feel special but those around you. To take it one step up, they will praise those who are close to you and it will leave you wondering why their attention is focused on others and not you. This is one the most common tactics people use to put down others whom they date. It is not only very hurtful but it severely damages one’s self esteem as you begin questioning yourself as a person who has some worth or not.

Why Do They Put You Down – The Dynamics of Dating

There are a number of reasons why someone may put you down:

  • Control You
  • Desire Something You Have
  • Do Not Want To Deal With You

Control You

Yes they want to control you and the best way to do that is to break you as a person by constantly putting you down to the extent that you question yourself and your ability to function in a relationship normally. They will hence be in a better position to decide what you do by telling you what is right and wrong. After all, they have already distorted your perception and made you feel incapable of handling things especially in a relationship.

Desire Something You Have

This is a common reason as to why anyone would put you down let alone the person you date. However, when we specifically talk about such relationships where there is love and intimacy, one of the reasons why they would belittle you is because they want something from you. It could be money, some access you have to resources or people or even the sexual side of the relationship. Every person has different motives. However, the best way to achieve them is to make the other person doubt themself to that they hand over their own decision making right to you.

Do Not Want To Deal With You

A person may be afraid of you! They fear you will catch on to the loopholes in their stories or their work. Hence to put some distance between the both of you they adopt a non-likeable attitude where they constantly belittle you! The purpose of this is to keep you away from them. If you try to get close to them for the sake of asking questions or finding out why something went wrong, they will resort to their typical attitude of belittling you and passing negative remarks to get you off their back!

Be watchful of such people! Not only are they adopting a condescending attitude but they may be hiding something important which you need to expose. They might be meddling with work affairs or taking part in something illegal because of which they do not want you around!

When it comes to relationships, this behavior could be adopted mostly because the other person is hiding an affair they are currently in, only using you for a certain reason and hence do not want to talk about the more important aspects of long term relations or because they simply don’t care about you and just want to have fun.

When Your Relationship Is Over?

Here are a few signs that your relationship is over:

  • They don’t talk about the future
  • They are never happy
  • Your partner never initiates anything
  • Find faults in you 
  • Spend their time and efforts on others and not you

If you see these signs, it is probably a good time to ask yourself how happy or fulfilled does this relation make you feel!


This article looked at how your partner in dating can put you down and what are the possible reasons or motives behind such actions. Furthermore the article shed light on signs that point to the probable scenario where it is time to move on from a relationship.