Dating anxiety (How to deal with it)
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OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this guide, we will discuss why a persona feels anxiety when dating and the techniques in how to eliminate this type of anxiety.
Dating anxiety
Human beings are social beings.
We like to interact with others and this action is a normal part of people’s development.
Many people have the facility to talk with others and start conversations.
Maybe you’ve met people who you see have innate abilities to get closer to others.
Some people do not have any type of anxiety or stress when dating someone.
They radiate confidence, feel confident and are ready to go out and have a good time.
But there is another type of person where this type of activity can cause the opposite.
Some people experience high levels of anxiety when dating other people.
Maybe you have experienced a situation where you are going to date someone you like, nerves and anxiety attack you and you don’t know how you are going to react.
It is normal to feel a little anxiety before going out with someone, it is special when it is someone who has captured our interest greatly.
But if you are a person who tends to have high levels of anxiety, this situation could be one of those where anxiety is very high.
Dating anxiety refers to the high levels that a person experienced in the process of dating someone.
Dating is a common practice, every day people seek to meet new ones and forge different relationships, but when anxiety gets in the way it is harder to do it.
A person experiencing dating anxiety sees dating another person as a situation of extreme anxiety.
Feel nervous and worry over how things are going to turn out.
The person who has dating anxiety, when dating someone can see it as a challenge. Imagine minutes before your appointment.
The person is generating thoughts that make their anxiety levels increase.
Thoughts like “I don’t think I am enough”, “I’m sure that person is going to think I am not interesting at all” or “that person does not like me”, can be common in a person who has dating anxiety.
At the time of the appointment, the person with dating anxiety may look nervous.
High levels of anxiety manifest with excessive sweating, trembling and diffuse thoughts.
The person with dating anxiety makes a unique interpretation of the situation that can lead to more anxiety.
If at the end of the appointment the person sees that it has not finished in the best way, it may feel much more worried and in the end, make the anxiety remain.
Why does a person have dating anxiety?
Various are the reasons why a person may have dating anxiety.
One of these is that the person suffers from an anxiety disorder, such as a social phobia.
The person is afraid to relate to others, thinks that it is not enough and interprets the actions that others do as negative or a way of judging it.
The person with social phobia, although he wants to spend time with other people, has mental barriers that prevent it from taking this step.
Another anxiety disorder can also cause anxiety to affect this aspect of a person’s life.
Dating anxiety can also be a reason for bad experiences the person has had in the past.
The person to see that it has not had much success with his previous appointments, an idea is formed in its head that it is also the same which causes anxiety.
Low self-esteem can influence a person to develop dating anxiety.
A person with low self-esteem understands that it is not enough and worries about what others may perceive their personality.
Having low self-esteem tries to do things so that they can be positively appreciated with others.
In general, it can be said that the perception that a person has about itself greatly influences the moment of dating anxiety since the person who looks one way, tends to believe that others will see it in the same way.
What is anxiety?
The feeling of anxiety has been present or will be in some way in people’s lives.
Feeling anxious is normal since it is that alarm that our body emits in situations that can be dangerous or as a way to motivate the person to do their job.
Low levels of anxiety are normal, but when these levels become high it can cause health problems, both physical and mental.
Anxiety is the reaction produced by the body to a stimulus that is perceived as threatening.
Anxiety is this state of alert that warns the body of any situation.
Any situation can generate anxiety and its management will depend on the ability of the person to deal with that stressor.
An example would be when a person witnesses or is part of a traffic accident.
Some people can be scared at the moment and then forget the accident, others, on the contrary, may find themselves in a situation where the accident is the beginning of a series of mental disorders and interrupt the functioning of the person.
Anxiety symptoms
Anxiety manifests different symptoms for diagnosis, which manifest in different ways since it is not the same in each person, but there are some of which are common.
Among the symptoms of anxiety are:
- Excessive concern
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Fear of losing control
- Difficult to focus
- A feeling of memory loss
- Obsessions or compulsions
- Sweating
- Dry mouth
- Dizziness
- Cardiovascular palpitations
- Nausea and vomiting
- Constipation
- Problems in the sexual field
Who does anxiety affects a person’s life?
A person when it is anxious it can interfere negatively in its life.
Anxiety at high levels does not allow the person to perform their daily activities.
The person who has anxiety may have difficulties when doing their job.
It has trouble concentrating on its duties since it is only thinking about what causes it excessive worry.
Anxiety does not let the person perform its functions.
When it comes to relationships with family and friends, the person with anxiety has difficulty socializing.
The nervousness and excessive concern that a person has about what others may think makes it very anxious and decides to avoid situations where it is with more people.
In the case of having dating anxiety, this process can be very difficult for the person.
It is difficult for it to establish a conversation with someone it likes.
At the moment it is with the person it starts thinking about things that many times are not related to what is happening at the moment.
You can interpret what the other person negatively tells you and you have a lot of concern about what the person might think.
After the appointment, the person who has dating anxiety can spend hours thinking about how the meeting went.
It may come to believe that the person it was with doesn’t like, making the person feel more worried and therefore more anxious.
Anxiety does not control does not help positively in any aspect of a person’s life.
Several studies have shown that high levels of anxiety can contribute to the development of certain bodily ailments and diseases.
The person who has anxiety may believe that some pain stems from a more serious illness.
Being constantly thinking about something and wanting to control it can cause headaches and interrupt your concentration.
Strategies for a person to eliminate dating anxiety
For the person who presents dating anxiety, it can be a bit more difficult to socialize and establish a romantic relationship with other people.
The positive is that there are several strategies that the person can apply to reduce anxiety levels.
Many people also believe in the Crystal Healing Theory to treat anxiety which proved to be useful. Check the Best Crystals and Stones for groundind anxiety and panic attacks. They will look like precious jewelry.
The first thing is that the person identifies the reasons why their anxiety is high.
In the first instance, the person may believe that there is no stress agent, but in truth there is.
High levels of anxiety can be caused by any situation, it does not have to be specific.
Sometimes a person’s handling and response to a situation cause anxiety levels to skyrocket.
When the person has identified the reasons why their anxiety levels are high, it is time to look for strategies.
If a person is dating another and feels that their anxiety is generated due to the perception that others may have, it is time to work on self-esteem.
The person with dating anxiety must understand that the perception that something about him may have is only thoughts that it generates.
It cannot be distressed by something that it only supposes.
If the anxiety that the person feels when dating someone is because they do not know what they are going to expect, it is best to prepare before the appointment.
Using relaxation techniques will help the person to be calmer and control those thoughts that generate anxiety.
One minute of meditation before the appointment is a good way to calm anxiety.
If you are a person who has dating anxiety it is best to relax and not think so much about what it can be.
Enjoy the date and share with others. Anxiety is caused by something you perceive as dangerous or threatening and there is nothing negative about dating someone.
If the appointment at the end does not go as expected, it does not mean that something went wrong.
Look at it as one more experience, you met another person, but in the end, it didn’t work.
If the person cannot control the anxiety with some of the techniques mentioned above and others that he has decided to perform, it is best to seek professional help.
Going to a health professional is a way to inquire about the reasons why you stay with high levels of anxiety for most of the day.
FAQs about dating with anxiety
Can I tell the person I am dating that I have anxiety?
Yes, there is nothing wrong with talking about anxiety.
Just as a person talks about a physical illness, anxiety should not be a reason to remain silent.
Can I take any medication for anxiety before going out with someone?
It is not correct to take medications for anxiety if they are not prescribed by a doctor.
Taking over-the-counter medications can cause results contrary to those expected.
What techniques can I perform to relax and reduce anxiety?
Meditation techniques are the most commonly used as an alternative treatment for anxiety.
Deep breaths and focus on the here and now are part of the meditation.
What do I do if I feel that the person I’m dating causes anxiety?
You must talk to that person with whom you go out and explain how you feel.
Try to explain in detail the reasons why you feel this way and together look for a solution.
Is it right to avoid people if I feel anxiety?
Avoidance is widely used when the person feels anxiety, but it is not the solution to the problem. Avoiding, in the end, is not a way to resolve the anxiety you feel. Try to meet in places where there are few people and then increase the amount.
Conclusion
Many people may have manifested dating anxiety at some point, which is normal.
It is okay to feel a little anxiety when dating someone, but it is not normal when this anxiety takes over the social relationships of the person.
The person needs to identify what causes anxiety and work on it with strategies focused on itself and relaxation.
Recommended links
- Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner
- Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner (New Harbinger Loving Someone Series)
- The Anxious Girl’s Guide to Dating: How I found romance while also being really, really nervous
References
Take Control of Your Anxiety Today: Personalized Counseling with BetterHelp
