In this blog post, we will answer the following question: Can you date your cousin if you are not related by blood? We explain why someone may be attracted to their cousin and how to face the situation as a whole family.
The love between cousins – Can you date your cousin if you are not related by blood?
Legally, you can date your cousin if you are not related by blood (an adopted cousin). Morally, this can raise some issues. The family bond carries much more weight than even the genetics themselves.
Our advice is to first talk it over with your close relatives and become aware of it is love or an illusion and a desire to explore. The most important thing in a relationship between family members is to carry out previous examinations and genetic counselling to avoid degenerative problems.
Some procedures are always recommended to prevent haemophilia, childhood deaths, among many other diseases that come from these unions between blood ties. Possibly some of the genes that are carried the higher the degree of relationship is defective and is transmitted to one of the children. But it should be noted that everything is prevention because doctors do not prohibit this type of unions.
Why do cousins get together?
It is common to hear stories that there have been some closeness between cousins and even sexual exploration, which occurs in various family spaces. What must be prevented is that some kind of abuse does not occur. If we talk about two 5-year-olds, there will never be abuse. But if we talk for example of a 12-year-old and a 5-year-old, this is something different.
It is necessary to speak about it within the family, to be guided by parents and other relatives. Promote family unity and respect ties. We are no one to judge, but nowadays this type of approach is not well seen. Although they are not prohibited either. Should it be left as a secret? Never.
This is worrying because it leads to an even greater problem within the family context. Trust and above all loyalty to her own family prevails in these cases. If you ask me personally, it seems to me that it affects the link even more than genetics itself because it is within the scope of what is prohibited.
The love between cousins, a relationship that stresses the whole family
Believe it or not, it occurs in all families, and prejudices, concerns and rejection are around every time.
Today the greatest resistance is at the genetic level for carrying certain generational “curses”, even though in certain countries in the Middle East, Africa and Asia, marriages between cousins are well regarded.
A phantasmagorical image has been installed in the collective unconscious about that there is a greater danger of malformation or mental disorders due to blood proximity. Something that is semi-real because there is only an increase in probabilities.
In any case, before procreating among cousins, it is advisable to carry out tests and, if possible, genetic counselling, to avoid degenerative problems, such as haemophilia, childhood deaths and other diseases derived from blood ties, since it has been studied that the higher the degree of relationship in the couple, the greater the probability that one of the defective genes that they carry will be transmitted by both parents to their children.
But there has never been a prohibition or prescription to prevent these unions.
How to face the situation
The bond has never been defined as intimate relationship with a family member but everything will depend on the family of origin and the closeness with which they have grown that will lead, or not, to greater confusion to understand that love. In this sense, what most worries the specialist is that these relationships are constituted from a secret.
That is what is harmful and what distorts the link more than the genetic issue. There is a transgression that gives it a sexual intensity, especially if while the parents have lunch, they are having their story on the second floor. It is a distorted context that also falls within the sphere of the prohibited.
It will be different if two cousins fall in love, talk about it and work out their family relationship. There the importance of the education of parents to children would be given in that the children learn to be honest in any situation.
On the other hand, it is frequent to hear that children and adolescents have their first sexual investigations with their cousins due to the closeness that occurs when sharing different family instances. In these cases, parents should be vigilant so that situations of exploitation or abuse do not occur among young people of different ages.
In a healthy context, you have to let the child investigate his body, which is not the same as accepting that he has relations with his cousin. For this reason, we have to be careful that the limits are not crossed, especially when there are children older than others.
Between two children of 4 years there will never be abuse, but one of 10 and 5 if there can be. In any case, the curious thing about the love between cousins for the psychologists arises when analyzing these families and seeing that they are so cohesive that some of their members do not go out into the world to look for new people, nor have they understood that the Family is a different space than the couples’ space.
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In this blog post, we answered the following question: Can you date your cousin if you are not related by blood? We explained why someone may be attracted to their cousin and how to face the situation as a whole family.
Legally, you can date your cousin if you are not related by blood. Morally, this can raise some issues. The family bond carries much more weight than even the genetics themselves.
If you are in a relationship with your cousin, here are some points to keep in mind:
- There is a belief that children with mental malformations or disorders come from parents with close blood.
- Proximity can occur because of cousins since childhood share interests.
- The first cousins share a large part of their genetic endowment.
- Talk it over with your other family members.
- Be aware that a family bond is stronger. Clarify your doubts.
- Use your conscience and find an answer to what you feel. Clarify if it is temporary or true love.
- Respect the opinions of others. Don’t go over yours. It is not a common situation.
- If it is a formal relationship seek help from professionals, both psychological and medical.
- Do not hide what you feel and express it with those closest to you.
- Accept recommendations and support.
If you have any questions or comments on the content, please let us know!
FAQ on Can you date your cousin if you are not related by blood?
Is it OK to date your adopted cousin?
You can date your adopted cousin if you are both adults and you understand the moral consequences of your relationship. Since you are not blood-related, the law does not prohibit it.
Can you marry your cousin in the UK in 2019?
In the UK 2019, you can be your cousin. However, many people are against this, as Unions between family members carry a higher risk when developing hereditary diseases.
Is it wrong to marry your cousin?
Many consider that it is wrong to marry your cousin since it can lead to harmful genetic conditions. It would also probably make things awkward at the family meetings.
What does the Bible say about marrying your cousin?
The Bible does not say anything about marrying your cousin. However, it is mentioned that sexual relations with several other close relatives are prohibited.
Is it illegal to sleep with your cousin?
In most countries, yes it is illegal to sleep with your cousin, parent, grandparent, sibling.
What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues
- If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.
If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.
Legislation.gov.uk – Marriage (Prohibited Degrees of Relationship) Act 1986
Genetic-genealogy.co.uk -FORBIDDEN MARRIAGE LAWS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM
Familytreeforum.com -Forbidden Marriages