Dacryphilia (A Comprehensive Guide)
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OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
The domain of psychology has defined everything from neurons working to personality disorders and from cognitive functions to collective subconscious.
Sexual functions and disorders related to it are not new and there are many psychological sexual disorders that have been classified.
Sexual dysfunction is a disorder that has baffled many in recent ages.
However, psychology has tried to explain these disorders and there are several disorders that have come under consideration.
Moreover, psychology has also provided us with many therapies that have helped people in treating these psychological disorders.
In this article we will discuss Dacryphilia.
There are many disorders in this domain and some of these disorders are the ones that are related to sexual kinks and behavior even outside of sexual behavior.
Kinks and fetishes is a relatively new and understudied area due to many reasons.
However, there is no denying that these kinks and fetishes exist and now more than ever.
Even though it is a little confusing for people to understand how fetish works, these are still widely prevalent and we shall discuss these fetishes in the article.
Dacryphilia is one of those fetishes and our main focus in this article. We are going to discuss dacryphilia below which is known as a disorder related to crying as one of the sexual fetishes.
We shall explain more about this fetish as dacryphilia is one of those disorders which are related to sexual function and sexual fetishes.
It is a rather new disorder but the prevalence is high in most people suffering from fetishes.
Before getting to know more about dacryphilia we should first know what sexual disorders and fetishes are and then we shall move to the next part of this article.
Let’s discuss fetishes and how they actually work and how dacryphilia is related to all this.
- Sexual Disorders and Fetishes
Sexual disorder or dysfunction refers to a problem that occurs during any phase of the sexual response cycle.
Sexual disorders often prevent a person from experiencing satisfaction which often comes with sexual activity.
A common sexual response cycle generally comes with stages which are excitement (desire and arousal), plateau, sexual pleasure and resolution.
According to an estimate, sexual dysfunction is pretty common affecting approximately 43% of women and 31% of men.
The main reason behind it getting not treated is due to the fact that many people consider it a taboo.
Even though many treatment options exist, people do not go for these treatments in the fear of getting judged.
However, one must know that you can go to a health care provider for treatment of a sexual disorder and discuss it with your partner as well.
Sexual fetishism is another abnormality related to sexuality.
However, it is not a disorder; it is rather a fixation that occurs when a person is fixated on a nonliving object or a non-genital body part.
That part or object is called the fetish and the person who has that fetish is called a fetishist.
A sexual fetish is often regarded as a non-pathological aid that is used for sexual excitement.
However, if it causes psychosocial distress to either of the partners or has detrimental effects on some of the important areas of a person’s life, it falls into the lists of mental disorders.
Sometimes, the sexual interest in specific activities can also fall under the category of fetish, medical definitions only restrict the term to objects or body parts.
A fetish which is known as paraphilias has come understudy in the past few years due to its higher prevalence.
- What is a Paraphilia or Paraphilic disorder?
A paraphilia is a condition in which sexual gratification or sexual arousal is caused due to fantasizing or engaging in sexual behavior which are extreme and generally asymmetrical.
It falls into the category of disorder when it causes significant distress or potential harm to the partner or anyone in the community.
Paraphilia can be either related to an object like underwear, for example, men wearing bras or children or even animals.
It can also be related to certain behavior including exposing oneself or inflicting pain.
However, it is generally specified when person arousal or sexual gratification becomes linked to a certain behavior or object.
These are more common in men than in women. Paraphilias include behavior that is considered distasteful or abnormal by society.
Now we are going to discuss a rather rare form of paraphilias that have become an area of interest in a recent decade and known as dacryphilia.
Let’s find out what dacryphilia is.
- What is Dacryphilia?
It is a disorder that refers to gain sexual pleasure or arousal from looking at tears of someone or hearing the sound of crying of somebody.
Some people also feel turned on by their own crying and some people can turn on by looking at other people’s cry.
There are yet other people who feel turned on by the emotional release which comes on with crying.
It is one of the sexual kinks or fetishes which can be related to activities not related to usual sexual behavior.
This sexual disorder has not been researched much because it is not considered appropriate to discuss such stuff in society.
Dacryphilia is outside of typical sexual behavior and it is sometimes considered as a medical condition and you can seek medical attention if it is causing significant distress.
Some people consider it normal while others consider it as against what society considers normal.
It is noticed in dacryphiliac that they don’t have a straight sexual connection when it comes to seeing tears.
They rather get a strong emotional response or, you can say, an emotional catharsis by seeing other people shed tears.
This fetish is rather fascinating as it plays with the sufferer on many emotional levels.
This fetish can also be seen as an internal fight in the person of being a bully and a comforter.
Since the world is turning into a global village and people are more open about sharing their experiences, it has come to notice that it is a problem faced by many.
Now researchers have been conducting more research to get to the root of dacryphilia.
There are a few other lesser-known facts which should be known about dacryphilia.
- Voyeuristic or Sadistic
To the surprise of many, dacryphilia is also considered as the subcategory of BDSM because tears are also can be caused due to humiliation or infliction.
According to psychologists, dacryphilia can be either sadistic or voyeuristic.
It can be decided on a partner’s choice and in the case of voyeuristic dacryphilia it can happen even if neither of the people knows if they are being turned on.
- Voyeuristic Dacryphilia
Voyeurism can be defined as “the practice of gaining sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity”.
So a voyeuristic dacryphilia can be turned on even when he watches someone crying or becoming emotional.
It is often known as passive dacryphilia. Some people are aroused by watching someone cry during sexual activity.
They don’t even need to be involved in sexual activity or they don’t need a reason to cry or to feel aroused.
Women are more generally related to voyeuristic dacryphilia than males.
People who have voyeuristic dacryphilia have an innate sense of empathy, according to published research.
- Sadistic Dacryphilia
Oxford dictionary has defined sadism as “the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others”.
These are dacryphilics who want to control or dominate the person they are having sex with.
The control can include both emotional as well as physical control.
Dacryphilia combined with sadism makes the person enjoy making the partner cry.
The pleasure by sadistic dacryphilia can be achieved by inflicting the partner with physical or emotional pain or both.
The choice can be made with the consent of both of the partners.
Some people have reported that they tried to be comforters of and watching the other person shed a tear in their warm embrace has made them feel more controlling and dominating over the situation.
They reported being a comforter as a more enjoyable way of being a sadistic dacryphilia as compared to any other methods available.
However, in general, just watching or hearing someone cry is arousing for most of the dacryphiliac even if a person is crying over a movie or an event.
FAQ about Dacryphilia
Is it necessary that the person is turned on by the crying due to an emotional reaction or humiliation?
No, for most dacryphilics, it does not matter why the person is crying as the only enjoy or hear the sobs of a person crying without even knowing the reason.
It is different in BDSM because the arousal can come only with humiliation during the sexual act.
Do the dacryphiliac only aroused by their partners crying?
It goes both ways as most dacryphiliac can be turned on by crying of a person they don’t even know.
Others have reported having the personal or emotional connection of the person who crying they are attracted.
Do hormones play a role in dacryphilia?
There are not many studies conducted on the subject and the ones which have been conducted have yielded pretty diverse results.
For instance, one research reported that dacryphilia occurs in both genders and didn’t address the issue of which gender faces it more.
Another body of research revealed that men are usually turned off by female tears during sexual activity.
It was reported that chemo-signals from the tears lower men’s sexual drive and another study suggested that these chemo-signals may increase the drive.
Apparently, we have not come to the conclusion about the role of hormones in dacryphilia.
Are dacryphilics dangerous?
Dacryphilia is mostly seen as sexual preference and not as a potential threat.
However, we can’t ignore the fact that if any sexual preference is causing a significant amount of distress to any of the partners, it falls into the category of mental disorders.
Consent to perform any kind of kink or sexual activity is a key and it doesn’t matter if you are performing the kink or watching it, it should be consensual.
If the person is putting someone else’s life in danger then dacryphilia is definitely a threat and can be considered dangerous.
- References
- Clevelandclinic.org: “Sexual Dysfunction”
- Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: “Fetishistic Disorders”.
- Holland, K. (n.d.) 15 Things to Know about dacryphilia. Retrieved from Healthline.com
- Larbi, M. (2016, July.) There are people who get wet from women crying. Retrieved from Metro.co.uk.
- Quaglia, S. (2016, July.) Dacryphilia: I get wet when you cry. Retrieved from Thenationalstudent.com
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