5 Couples Therapy Exercises (that work)


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Page last updated: 28/08/2022

Couples Therapy Exercises

This blog provides you couples therapy exercises.

Here you are given a layout of several effective couples therapy exercises that would help you build a relationship with your partner more trustful, intimate, stronger and long-lasting.

So let’s begin with the purpose and importance of couple therapy exercises.

What are the Couples Therapy Exercises? 

Couples therapy exercises are a set of exercises that you can perform to help build your relationship stronger, intimate and long-lasting.

Couples therapy exercises are the first thing you could do in the process of resolving conflicts between couples. Your next step could be a couples retreat and then couples counselling.

Disagreements in a relationship are normal but an inability to deal with disagreements and sort out conflicts can take the relationship to the stake of separation or divorce. 

Couple counseling and couple psychotherapy are good means to help rebuild trust, intimacy, and understanding in a relationship but often people resist seeking help from a counselor or a therapist.

So here are some of the best couples therapy exercises which you can do at home to build up your relationship with your partner. 

Make A List Of Fun Activities To Try Together

Due to busy and monotonous routines, all the colors of life fade away, making partners apart from each other.

To build your relationship stronger, you need to think of several activities you and your partner would love to do together.

Then take some time out of your busy routines and do these fun activities together. This would help you get closer to your partner and strengthen your bond.

The fun activities could be as simple as going out for dinner or as complex as planning a tour to an island.

Spending quality time together is the best way to get close to each other, understand each other and make your bond stronger. 

Have an “Honesty Hour”

Disagreements in a relationship are normal but it is important to clarify your needs, likes, dislikes, values, and opinions to your partner freely, in an assertive way to let them get to know you closely.

This would also give you and your partner an idea of when is the time for whom to compromise.

Therefore, set an honest hour once a week or at least once in a month to discover more about your partner and give him a chance to know more about you. 

Set Aside A Special Date Night Every Week

Date nights are a way of refreshing old memories and make your partner realize how much you adore him.

It gives you and your partner to spend some time together and recall good, warm memories.

No matter how old you get or how many years have passed of your marriage, date nights help you connect with your partner and aids in strengthening your bond with your spouse.

Date night does not mean to go out for dinner, you can prepare food at home and have a candlelight dinner together to make your night special and memorable.

Spend Intimate Time Together As Often As Possible

Try to spend as much time with each other as possible. Work-life, joint family system and children can make you busier but you need to take some time out to spend intimate time with your spouse.

Intimacy helps strengthen the bond with your partner, grow live between you both and reduce complaints.

It is to be noted that intimacy is about more than just sex. In addition to growing physical closeness with each other, it is also important to connect to your spouse emotionally.

Emotional closeness can be achieved by spending time with each other talking, listening actively, understanding and ensuring your spouse that you are with him.

Spend more time talking to each other without any interruption of cell phones, work or other distractions. 

Identify And Eliminate Stress Triggers

Stress affects our mental, emotional and physical health. It is not good for our well-being. Therefore it is essential to identify the stress triggers and work on them to elicit their negative effects.

Marriage brings several challenges which if you confront and manage with your partner, you can successfully deal with them.

Stressors are anything that causes stress in you. It could be jealousy, insecurity, fear of being misunderstood and so forth.

Whatever stresses you, talk about it with your partner instantly so you can work on it together and prevent the effects of stress on you and your relationship. 

Write An Appreciation List For One Another

Appreciating each other’s good qualities helped bring you and your partner closer to each other.

It helps strengthen your relationship and motivates the other person to do things that you love about them.

Writing an appreciation list for one another gives a chance to explore what qualities of you are adored by your partner.

This increases a sense of value in your relationship. It helps build trust, confidence and live in your relationship.

Resolve Disagreements Before Bed

Unresolved conflicts can affect your relations negatively.

Therefore it is essential to identify the conflicts and resolve them instantly to get rid of their adverse effects on you and your relationship.

So make it a habit of resolving the problems on a daily basis.

Do not let these conflicts turn into betterment and resentment, talk with your spouse and work on resolving the conflicts in your relationship immediately. 

Practice Arguing Constructively

The way you communicate with your partner also affects the quality of your relationship with your partner.

Passive and aggressive communication styles should be avoided. It is recommended to talk assertively with your partner to bring about constructive, fruitful arguments.

If you listen to your partner and he listens to your point, you both can work on the conflict and resolve it efficiently. The constructive and destructive argument is identified by the way of expressing your point of view.

Active listening and understanding the point of your partner can increase satisfaction and help concentrate on the conflict resolution.

The things that need to be avoided while arguing include blaming, hurting, using always and never thinking style, violence and so forth. 

Being kind to your partner and respecting him can help conflict resolution more easily. 

Make (Extended) Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact with your partner develops the feelings of being listened to actively and being understood by the partner.

It increases closeness and connection with your partner. In the present time of multitasking and busy routines, many things get skipped.

One of these things is the focus on your relationship. Maintaining eye contact while talking to each other can help you focus on each other without any distractions and interruptions.

Though this task may seem challenging its results are fruitful. It develops a sense of closeness, intimacy, and connection with your partner. 

The following are some book that can help you increase your knowledge about the CBT techniques and couple therapy exercises for identifying conflicts in your relations and resolving them, getting closer to each other, strengthening your relationship with your partner, growing love, intimacy, trust, confidence, and sense of care in your relationship etcetera.

These books are easily available on Amazon or you can get them from google books. 

What is the success rate of couples counseling? Or How effective is couples therapy? 

Couples counseling or couples therapy is being practiced with a greater focus on Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT).

The good news is that according to APA (American Psychological Association), it is about 75 percent effective.

What should I ask in couples therapy?

There are various questions you can ask in couples therapy.

Some of the most common and important questions which you can ask your spouse during couples therapy are: 

  • What are the greatest conflicts we are facing in our marriage? 
  • When did these conflicts arise?
  • Which of my behaviors, words, emotions or decisions get on your nerves?
  • Which of my behaviors, words, emotions or decisions do you adore or appreciate the most? 
  • How much do you trust me?

What can couples do to build trust?

There are a number of ways for increasing trust in your relationship. Some of the things couples can do to build trust include, asking questions from each other to explore more about their spouse, telling each other the things that your adore of love about each other, recalling the good, warm, happy time you had spent together, sharing personal songs with each other, taking out time from your busy schedule to spend time with each other and so forth.

Do marriage counselors ever recommend divorce?

Marriage counselors do not suggest divorce even if the relationship is abusive, threatening or on the verge of ending.

Marriage counselors try their best to bring the couples closer to each other to help rebuild their relationship with each other and lead a happy life.

However, the victim may ask for help from a counselor and go for separation. Therapists do everything they can to keep their clients safe.

How do you talk to couples therapy?

In a couple’s therapy, you can talk to your partner about what you hope to accomplish in your relationship and life, saying things like, “I want us to be so much better together.” “I hope we can get help to start communicating better.” telling your partner about the things you want to achieve, your hopes and dreams about your relationship can aid in making your talk about couples therapy and feel much more comfortable as well as reassuring to your partner.

What are some couples’ therapy exercises?

Some of the most effective couples therapy exercises include making a list of fun activities and doing them together, resolving all conflicts before going to bed, having an honesty hour at least once in a week to help explore more about your partner and let him know more about you, setting a date night every week to develop a sense of closeness and unplugging yourself from all distraction for a night to spend time with your partner to increase love, confidence, trust, and strength of your bond with your partner. 

This blog aimed to help you acknowledge several couples therapy exercises that you can use to build up your relationship with your spouse.

You can do these exercises with your partner on your own, without needing to consult any counselor.

If you still fail to help resolve your conflicts with your partner, do not hesitate to seek help for a counselor or marriage therapist.

Let us know through your comments how you like the blog. Your suggestions and queries are welcomed.  


Top 10 At Home Couples Therapy Exercises

Couples Therapy: 6 Exercises You Can Try at Home By Michael Griswold 2018

6 Popular Couple’s Therapy Exercises You Can Try Now By Karen Tietjen 2019


Google books