Can I tell my therapist my husband hit me?
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
This article will discuss if you can tell your therapist that your husband has hit you. It will show how your therapist may behave in these situations, and how they can help you.
Can I tell my therapist my husband hit me?
Yes, you can, and you should tell your therapist that your husband hit you. Although that may be a difficult thing to do, therapy is the safest space for you to talk about this. But some things can make it harder for you to do so.
One of them is that coming forward to your therapist about your husband hitting you is something that will make you face the abusive relationship that you are in. When your husband hits you, it is common that you will find an excuse for it, you can begin to think that you did something to deserve it.
This is a common reaction when people are hit on by their husbands, but as you begin to talk about it, you may begin to realize there is an abuse pattern in that relationship. And that may be a harsh reality for you to face.
Telling your therapist that your husband hit you can often lead to guilt and shame. Since this process can make you feel like you are looking at yourself in a mirror, that will never lie, you can begin to feel extremely ashamed about how long you kept yourself in this situation.
But you shouldn’t blame yourself. You are not the one that has done something wrong. As you process what has happened, you will come to terms with the fact that you are the victim, and that you were in this situation because there was a pattern in play to make the situation go on as long as it did.
Telling your therapist that your husband hit you is not only an important instrument in realizing what you have been through, and properly naming what has been happening with you.
It is also a way to open yourself up to the support of others. And it may be the first step in taking yourself out of this horrible situation. But sometimes you can feel unsure since you don’t know how your therapist will react as you share with them that your husband hit you.
And being afraid of that reaction is something that can often lead you to not share. So to help you understand better what your therapist will do, we have given a detailed explanation of what their role will be in dealing with that. Let’s see what your therapist can do as you tell them your husband hit you.
What is the role of a therapist when you tell them your husband hit you?
The therapist has some roles as they are helping you deal with the reality that your husband hit you. Here is what they can often do.
Be supportive
The first thing a therapist will do, as you tell them your husband hit you, will be supportive. A therapist will never be someone that judges you for what you have done, or what you have been through. They will listen to you carefully and in a caring way.
The space you have with the therapist is safe. In it, they will support you through whatever you are going through, and try to help you in the best way they can. But that is not all they will do.
A therapist will also help you face the condition you are in, and as said before, even if that is not easy, they will be there when you come to terms with what is going on.
Help you find a way out
As you face the reality of the abusive situation you are in, your therapist will have a key role in it. They can be people that will help you think more clearly and in a rational manner about what you can do.
They can help you understand if there are patterns to the aggression, and think of what you should do the next time a situation like that happens again. It can be that they will help you find hiding, for the next time your husband hits you, or they can even help you create a strategy to get out of this abusive relationship.
Thinking about all of this with a therapist can be a lot easier than thinking about it all by yourself. As you do it alone, it may be easier to fall back on the abusive patterns of the relationship, but sharing with them will help you have a more clear view of the matter, making it easier to get out of it.
Report the abuse
This is something clients can often fear as they tell their therapist that their husband hit them. And even though thinking of the possibility that your therapist will report your husband can be difficult, it may be a reality to be faced.
No one would ever want, or dream that a relationship would get to this point. But when it happens, and if you have trouble reporting the abuse to law enforcement, it is a good thing that your therapist will do so.
It can be something that takes this load, and responsibility out of your back. And help terminate the cycle of abuse. If your husband is hitting you, it is a sign that there is no healthy way this relationship could go on, finding a way to put a stop to it, is essential.
What you need to understand is that your therapist will only be able to report this to authorities if you tell them that your husband has hit you, and they can even do so in an anonymous manner, so no one would know that you tell your therapist about this is what ultimately led to the investigation.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Can I tell my therapist my husband hit me?
What are the signs of a toxic relationship?
If you are going through a hardship in your relationship, it may be important for you to ask yourself if this is a toxic relationship. These types of relationships don’t always need to have physical abuse, they can also be one in which the partners don’t respect each other.
Or it can even be one in which the two of you don’t feel like you are partners anymore, and you have given up on putting in the effort to make this relationship work. Most of the time, it can just feel like the two of you are just going through the motions
In a toxic relationship one, or the two of you, can begin to play the blame game, which can lead to constant arguing and very little progress in the communication in the relationship. Aside from that, there is absolutely no more intimacy in the relationship, and you are no longer each other’s priority.
A toxic relationship can also be one in which one of the partners is extremely controlling of the other. And if they do so in a way that they are not willing to discuss, adapt, or make compromises, it is a toxic relationship. Finally, it is a clear sign of a toxic relationship if there is any abuse in it, be it physical, or emotional.
Is it normal for my husband to hit me once?
No, you may think that if it is something that has happened just once, after a long time that you have been in a relationship together, that is something that can be overlooked.
But you need to realize that by hitting you, your husband is showing that they think they have so much power over you, that they can cause you this type of pain.
Aside from being a way to show their power over you, as your husband hit you the first time, and you stay in that relationship, you may be giving them the idea that you are willing to stay in this relationship no matter what.
They may get the idea that hitting you is something they can do, and that, in the mind of an abusive person, leads to more and more abuse.
Is just hitting a sign of an abusive relationship?
No, it is not only hitting that would characterize a relationship as abusive. Hitting can often be the point when people realize that things have gotten out of hand, but as they look closer, they can begin to realize that the abusive relationship has started long before.
It may have happened with aggressive talk, or by them belittling you. It is hardly common that the first sign of an abusive relationship will be hitting, it will often escalate to that.
Is it my fault that my husband hit me?
No, you should never think that it is your fault that your husband hit you. As they do so, it is a part of their cycle of abuse, and they can often tell you that they are doing it because you have done something wrong to deserve it.
But nothing is furthest from the truth. Even if the two of you had any problem in the relationship, there is no reasonable situation in which it would be okay to hit another human being.
If your husband gets you in a position in which you think you deserve to be hit on, they will certainly take advantage and the cycle of abuse can become even more intense.
Can my husband change?
When your husband hits you or abuses you in any other manner, they will often say that they can change. This is something that will come in handy as they try to convince you to stay in the relationship. But you should have in mind that if you have an abusive husband, there is very little chance that they will change.
The chances are even worse if they don’t admit they have a problem. Which is quite common in the case of abusive husbands.
So that they don’t need to face the consequences of their actions, they will often go on saying to you, and themselves that your actions caused them to behave in that way, making it impossible for them to change.
Conclusion
This article explained how you should tell your therapist that your husband has hit you. It also showed what your therapist will do in those cases, and how they can help.
If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.
References
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/therapists-really-patients-tell-them-123000062.html
https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/when-must-a-therapist-file-a-report