Can Hyper Independence be caused by Trauma? (+7 Ways to cope)
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In this post, we will be discussing if Hyper Independence can be caused by trauma. We will also be checking out the signs of Hyper Independence caused by trauma, and various coping strategies to counter this response.
Can Hyper Independence be caused by Trauma?
Yes, Hyper Independence can be caused by trauma. In fact, trauma, especially past trauma, is one of the leading causes when it comes to Hyper Independence in any one. It is through trauma that a person learns to be self-sufficient and never depend on others.
Signs of Hyper Independence caused by Trauma
Some of the signs of Hyper Independence which is caused by past trauma have been listed in the following section.
They often never ask for help
The most tell-tale sign of a person who is hyper independent because of trauma is that they often never ask for help. Even if the task or project is too big to manage for them, they shy away from asking for help and may not do so until someone voluntarily steps in.
They might bite off more than they can chew
Those who are hyper independent as a coping response to some trauma in the past can also be seen to bite off more than they can chew. They are constantly overachieving at work or school and take on more than they can easily manage.
They are prone to burnouts
Because they often take on more than they can chew, hyper independent people are pretty prone to burnouts. They might often work themselves off until they are completely fatigued and may end up completely physically and mentally exhausted.
They might not like extending help
Just as they don’t like asking for help, those who are hyper independent because of past trauma may also not like extending help to others. They might not just discourage but may even paint asking for help as some sort of neediness or bad behavior.
They might be secretive in relationships
Even if they are in a romantic relationship, people who are hyper independent because of some trauma may be pretty secretive. Even if they have been dating their partner for a long time, their partner may not know many details about them.
They often never get too close with anyone
Not only in their romantic relationships, but even in their other social relationships, hyper independent people may not get too close with anyone else. They might always stay a certain distance away from others and may actively pull back if someone is trying to get too close.
They might be paranoid of others
Another sign of hyper independence due to trauma is complete paranoia or mistrust of others and their actions. Even if someone is genuinely kind or nice to them, they might be suspicious of their behaviors and it may take them a long time before they trust someone.
They might not have friends
Those who are hyper independent because of some past trauma may also lack close friends. Their social circle may be limited to just a few people and even those who are friends with them may still not know much about them.
Coping with Hyper Independence caused by Trauma
If you are aware that you are being hyper-independent because of some trauma-related issue, there are several coping strategies you can use to cope with this response. Some of these coping strategies have been described as follows.
- Understand the reason behind your hyper-independence. The first thing in terms of coping or recovering from hyper-independence is understanding the main cause of your response. Be aware that your hyper-independence is a psychological response.
If you are finding it hard to understand the reasoning behind your hyper-independence, you can even try going to therapy. During therapy sessions with a trauma-informed therapist, you will learn to be more aware of your responses and how it affects your daily life.
- Know the difference between self-reliance and hyper-independence. Most people who are actually hyper-independent actually never realize that they are being so. They will simply think that they are being self-reliant or plain independent.
But this is not true. Hyper-independence is being self-reliant to the point of shunning all meaningful relationships. This also means that you burden yourself unnecessarily when you can easily work less with more help around.
- Know that you can do more with help. When you are hyper-independent for a long time, it often becomes so deeply ingrained in your mindset that asking for help can seem like such a needy thing or a weak thing to do.
But you also need to understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You can also get more work done when you ask for help or simply delegate work to others. This not only reduces your workload, but also increases your productivity as a whole unit.
- Create meaningful relationships with others. Another thing that you can do is to focus on truly creating more meaningful relationships. Being a hyper-independent individual, you might find that your social circle may be pretty limited.
But when you focus on creating meaningful relationships with someone close to you, this not only improves the quality of your life but also helps you let down your guard and get comfortable with others.
- Know who to trust and who not to trust. One main sign of hyper-independence is being distrusting of everyone around you. But this world is filled with many good people whom you can trust and lean on during good times and bad.
If you understand that someone is definitely trustworthy, you can try being more open with them and even letting them become a bigger part of your life. This can also be very enriching to your personal life.
- Start delegating work. If you are in a managerial position at work or if you are heading a team, you can practice letting go of your hyper-independence by simply starting to delegate more work to your team-members.
By delegating work in a more responsible manner, you will be able to make maximum use of your team and also prepare for the worst. Delegating is an art and you can easily get the hang of this with regular practice.
- Ask for help. If you are hyper-independent because of some trauma in the past, perhaps the most difficult thing to do is to ask for help openly. But this is a necessary skill if you want to get the most out of life since we all need help on some day or the other.
You can start asking for help in small things, such as holding a bag or making a call. You can then progress to bigger things like accompanying you somewhere or co-heading an important project with you.
The more you become used to asking for help, the better you will be able to cope with your past trauma. You will also find that those close to you find that they like you better after you have started to ask for help.
If you are finding it difficult to ask for help and need a starting point, you can start by delegating small tasks. If you find that the person was great at that, it means that you can trust them to a certain level. You can then go ahead and ask for help in bigger projects.
Conclusion
In this post, we have discussed if Hyper Independence can be caused by trauma. We have also checked out the signs of Hyper Independence caused by trauma, and various coping strategies to counter this response.
If you like this post, please leave your comments and questions in the space below.
Citations
https://exploringyourmind.com/hyper-independence-a-possible-characteristic-of-trauma/
https://www.gailweiner.com/post/ultra-independence-is-a-trauma-response
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6169872/
https://stars.library.ucf.edu/honorstheses/494/
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/avoidant-attachment
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10359067/Expert-reveals-signs-struggle-rely-problem.html
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