Can anxiety kill your ability to love?

This article will discuss if anxiety can kill your ability to love. It will explain how the condition can affect the way you perceive yourself, and others, and the impact this has on your relationships. 

Can anxiety kill your ability to love? 

Yes, anxiety can kill your ability to love. When you are dealing with an anxiety disorder it can affect you in so many ways that maintaining a relationship, or even opening yourself up to start a relationship can be difficult.

In time, as you expose yourself to the trials of a relationship, and the hardship that can come with it, and feel your anxiety resurfacing each time you try, you may begin to consider avoiding love altogether. 

Showing how anxiety can kill your inability to love. But there are many reasons why anxiety can kill your ability to love. Let’s understand a little more about why this happens.

Why does anxiety kill your ability to love? 

Dealing with anxiety is a full time job, it is a condition that will never leave you, and even as you meet someone new, and feel like there is some sense of relief from your anxiety, sooner or later it may ressurface, and if you can’t control it, it can take a toll on your love life. Here are the main reasons why anxiety can kill your ability to love.

It can make you feel insecure 

Anxiety will often make you think the worse of yourself. You can begin to question your abilities, if you are interesting enough, or even if you are someone that is worthy of love. 

In dating life, we have all experienced rejection at some point or another, and those questions can come uo, but for a person that has anxiety, it can get even more intense.

As you are dealing with all those concerns, you can begin to feel like maybe love is not for you. And you can consider giving it up. Or sometimes, whenever a new possibility of love comes along you can throw yourself too much in it, and that sometimes can just make things backfire.

The other person may get a sense of desperation from your side, or that you are looking for something different than they are, since you may be showing signs that you want the relationship to become serious right away. Making it harder for this to last, which ultimately may discourage you to try having a relationship altogether.

It can make you self-centered

Anxiety can also make you self-centered. This can happen because the condition makes you constantly worry about how you feel, or what you should do, what your fears are. It makes you ruminate about everything, even what is beyond your control.

The focus is all on you, even if it is to criticize yourself, anxiety makes you obsess about things, and lose sight of the people around you. In that, sometimes you can disregard what your partner is saying, or needs, making it harder for a relationship to move forwards.

It will make you second guess yourself 

When you have anxiety, it can also make you second guess yourself all the time. You may begin a relationship, and at first feel like all the pieces of the puzzle are falling right in place. But at some point, when anxiety kicks in, you can begin to ask yourself if you are feeling what you assume you are feeling.

You can begin to worry if this is the right person for you, if taking that next step is something that you should do or not. All these thoughts can prevent you from enjoying what is happening at the moment, and can also take a toll on your partner that can feel like you are not 100% sure about them.

It can make you unstable 

As you begin to second guess your every action, your partner can realize that you are unstable. It may be difficult to maintain a relationship with someone that is not sure of what they want, and that sometimes can even step out of the relationship.

At some point, your partner may decide that it is better to just end this relationship, than live with the constant fear that your anxiety will take the best of you, and you will just end everything. 

And even though anxiety can kill your ability to love, it doesn’t mean it always has to be like this. Let’s discuss what you can do to regain your ability to love even through anxiety.

How can I regain my ability to love even through anxiety?

Allowing yourself to love, and to be in an intimate, and loving relationship is still possible, even if you are struggling with anxiety. The first thing to do when that is the case is to look for professional help. 

Being in therapy will allow you to have a space to talk about all those feelings, and doubts without letting it ruin your relationship from the inside. Having this safe space will allow you to discriminate between what are serious, and real concerns you should have about your relationship, and what are the ones that are mostly driven by anxiety.

It doesn’t mean that anxiety will suddenly go away, or that you will be 100% sure. But just that you will have better judgement about the whole situation. But if the problem with anxiety is that it causes you to feel too insecure, therapy can also help with that.

It can be a space to help you understand why your self-esteem has been so affected. Understanding the root of that, and the triggers of your anxiety may help you take things slowly in a relationship, so you can be vulnerable, and tell the person you are dating about how you feel, but at the same time, for you to not come on too strong and pressure them.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Can anxiety kill your ability to love? 

Can anxiety end a relationship? 

Yes, anxiety can ruin a relationship. It can make you so stressed, and overwhelmed that it can ruin your relationship. When you have an anxiety disorder it is likely that this condition will end up taking control of you, it can lead you to constantly think negative things about yourself, and your partner.

It can make you feel insecure, and lead the problems to seem bigger than what they really are. In all of that, you can feel that you and your partner may begin to lose your connection, and can little by little become more distant, and become distrusting of one another.

If the two of you aren’t able to discuss the impacts that anxiety is having on the two of you, it is likely that things will only get worse, and at some point the two of you may begin to consider ending the relationship.

Should I break up with my boyfriend that has anxiety?

It is not possible to affirm that you should end the relationship with your boyfriend because they have anxiety. Rather than that, what you need to take into consideration is how open they are about their condition, how the two of you discuss it, and if they are looking for professional treatment.

If you see that your boyfriend is struggling with anxiety, you can talk to them about it, and try to understand the best ways you can help. It may be that, if you give them some assurance, and discuss matters openly anxiety won’t take control of it all.

Aside from that, if they are going to therapy, taking medication, or doing their best towards improving, it is a clear sign that they want to move past this condition that no one has ever chosen to go through. 

But if you realize that being in that relationship is taking too much of you, that is causing you to struggle emotionally, or even if you realize that your boyfriend is not getting the treatment they need, it may be important to consider if this is a healthy relationship for you to be in.

What can I do to be in a relationship with someone that has anxiety?

To be in a relationship with someone that has anxiety it is first important that you learn all you can about the condition, so you can be by their side in the best way possible but without asking too much of yourself as well.

You should also be a partner that will support them through treatment, and even though it all just seems so frustrating at times, that you can be angry at the situation you are in, and not your partner. 

For example, if they have social anxiety, and are unable to be at a work event with you, being angry in anxiety rather than at your partner seems the way to go.

Value the steps your partner makes, and think about how your behavior can impact your partner. Know that the two of you are part of the same team, so look at them through compassionate eyes. 

But you should also keep on caring for yourself, and your mental health, and if at some point you feel that the two of you need to work on the relationship, you can look for couple’s therapy.

What is relationship anxiety? 

Relationship anxiety is one type of anxiety that a person can develop when thinking of themselves in relationships, be it romantic or even family relationships. 

Having relationship anxiety can cause you to behave in two ways: you can either be the person that will cling to the other, or you can be someone that will constantly need to distance yourself from people.

Although every person can have relationship anxiety to some level, it can be a problem when it is too severe, or goes in for a long time and it prevents you from forming meaningful relationships.

How can I deal with relationship anxiety?

To deal with relationship anxiety you should first identify what is causing it. For that, you should become more aware of yourself, and be honest about what you are feeling. Whenever you feel anxious, it is important that you discover ways to calm yourself.

Aside from that, you should try to work on building trust with people around you, and whenever you have a conflict, try to deal with it. Knowing that how you feel is important, but feelings don’t make a fact will give you space to discuss matters.

And finally, it may be important for you to look for professional support to help you understand more of your patterns of relationship, and how to cope with it.


This article explained how anxiety can affect you to an extent that it can kill your ability to love. The article showed why this can happen, and how you can work on maintaining your ability to love even through anxiety.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.


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