Attachment disorder in adults (A Comprehensive Guide)

Attachment disorder in adults is a common phenomenon that is found in the era of the modern world.

The family’s pattern in which we grew up and complete our development phases are very close to us or every individual.

These families shape an individual in his or her grooming or towards matureness.

Through this process we attach our different bounds with the people of families and even try to make us independent.

We learn many things from our families which are usually called norms and rules which are the fixed patterns of any family.

These patterns can form each other.

Through this process, we experience an emotional attachment with other individuals, this emotional care which we experienced as children has a long-lasting effect on the whole life.

This effect will remain with us in the grooming period of children when they become an adult and whenever they are developing any relationship and attachment with others or any others.

Attachment disorder in adults is introduced or developed by John Bowlby as he worked on the attachment theory. 

In this article, we will discuss attachment disorder in adults. 

However, Keirsey Relationship Compatibility model defines adult attraction in a different way.

There are some descriptions about the attachment disorders in adults:

·         The individual who is very lucky and grows up in a loving and consistent family.

The individual develops the style of mental and emotional well-being state.

The feelings of love and affection only we get when we grow in a safe and loving family environment and the surroundings of our environment like families are strong enough to provide us that strength.

These strengths make or convert around us a vicious circle.

Whenever an individual grows in this environment he or she develops secure attachment patterns.

·         The other term is about the other side of the secure attachment pattern.

This side is also true and gives us a direction to understand attachment disorders in adults.

If anyone between us is not able to fulfill the emotional and physical needs in their childhood and during that time when this requirement is very important remains inconsistent.

If the family or any caregiver of the child also remains inconsistent the child suffers from emotional problems.

The individual suffers in the whole life and shown in the different parts of life about their attachment insecure patterns.

For better understanding there are more concepts through this we can analyze this in a better way.

A person who is suffering due to poor attachment styles will be more vulnerable and remains isolated throughout life, the time period he or she cannot cope with this thing.

On the other hand the individuals who develop secure attachment styles are more often spend their life in a better way full of confidence and hope.

They can develop relationships easily and remain consistent in the relationship. 

There are many people who are not leaving at home and leave home whatever the reason was, to meet other people and develop different types of relationships in the future.

These individuals are always bear when they are in the relationship and this comes to them by nature.

The thing to remain consistent is very hard and difficult for them. They suffer in life and cannot find the reason behind this phenomenon.

The distressing thing teases them in every level of their relationship either from the beginning or towards the end.

As adults, individuals tend to focus on the playing or have a play, let’s catch up concepts and do not consider the attachment problems which are existing in their life.

The idea about the distress they can realize from any relationship but they can convert in this statement that certain relationships do not work or like this but do not recognize the real fact about the attachment problems.

The individuals in this pattern breakdown and fail in similar ways.  Thus, we all are not understanding or aware of our attachment patterns.

Attachment disorder in adults might not acknowledge

The term attachment is defined above properly and it has also been recognized that our childhood is very important.

The attachment disorder in adults has the main root cause in adults.

The adults particularly experience these distressing events from their childhood and the relationships by though they passed in their childhood.

There are some individuals who can develop the problem of attachment due to any traumatic event happening in their life either in their childhood or in any part of their life.

Trauma has a significant effect on an individual’s life.

There are some examples to understand the traumatic events which also became the cause of attachment problems in some one’s life. These are

1.      A breakdown of any relationship can develop attachment disorder in adults.

2.      An accident or any traumatic incident like flood or earthquake in which someone may lose their loved ones also becomes the cause of development attachment disorder in adults.

3. Naturally, attachment disorder in adults is a consequence of a failure of consistent care in our very early years of childhood period.
4. The attachment disorder in adults develops in those people who  tend to have grown up with mothers and fathers who were emotionally inconsistent and disorganized

These events have the result of the loss of confidence in the individual and if anyone notices the individual has low self-esteem from their childhood and recognizes it as an attachment disorder in adults.

There are also other reasons which exist in someone’s life like a child might have been left on their own for too long, it is to find the child’s mother or father sometimes unpredictable or frightening, possibly abusive and traumatizing in front of children.

There are the different cause of attachment disorder in adults which is considered as the main root cause of any individual:

• Neglect by parents
• Separation from parents form any cause either due to death or divorce
• Adoption, being an adopted child
• Physical or sexual abuse during childhood
• Traumatic experiences

These patterns became the main root cause of developing children’s attitude de-attachment phase.

These children suffer their whole life as the main flaw is that these adults who are in attachment disorder are not able to develop lasting and satisfying relationships in their life.

This is very distressing or painful for them.

They remain suffering in different problems which are even problematic for their own mental health such as they don’t trust people and there is a problem for them initiating any relations, maintaining or developing any intimate relationship. 

The situations which the above mentioned are ignored or don’t tackle timely then these children can develop complicated problems around trust or attachment disorders in adults.

These problems in adulthood also lead towards self-harm or destructive behavior which is not suitable for the health of the individual as well as for the society.

We as a human have the tendency to develop attachment and relationship and when we live in a society it is our need to develop the attachment patterns or anyone with intimate attachment.

We learn from this in our very early life and our early relationships have a strong influence upon us. 

If people are not careful we may naturally end up repeating those old childhood dynamics, attachment problems, and all.

If anyone from us has experienced attachment problems in our early years and also has and at risk of repeating it with others later on. 

It may even influence the kind of partners that may be chosen, so that unwittingly and that pick partner who is more likely to let us down.

Treating attachment disorder in adults

People who struggle with attachment disorder may have significant problems or symptoms are:

• These individuals have problems committing to relationships
• They struggle to follow through on work and projects

If anyone suffers from attachment disorder, psychotherapy or psychological treatment on time may be helpful. 

The importance of psychotherapy and counseling to maintain a relationship is of work.

The thing which has been covered in psychotherapy is that they maintain relationships, how to keep it consistent, predictable, and organized. 

Psychological therapy helps an individual to maintain their healthy life again full of affection and relationships.

The early refer system is very helpful for this.

In psychological treatment there is a possibility of;

• An individual can develop new approaches to thinking about yourself and your surroundings.
• An individual develops learning more about the way in which he or she tends to experience problems in relationships and with attachments.

Having a confidential and secure place to work on these ideas and experience in psychotherapy may give you the chance to step back and break out of the repeating cycle of your attachment disorder.

Psychological treatment helps individuals and gives the chance to take some control over their life which is suffering in a more disorganized way of relating to people, and to start to nurture a more consistent and predictable pattern of relating to yourself and to others.

Furthermore, It takes more work and commitment to grasp the way these disorganized attachment styles can be interfering and spoiling the adult relationships, but it can work. 

These problems developed at a very early age and take time to follow how they are deep-seated into psychology and an individual’s personality.

There are some things for that individual who suffer attachment disorder in adulthood may find themselves:

• Attachment disorder in an adult may develop particularly quick to feel insecure, possessive, jealous, anxious or paranoid
• Attachment disorder in an adult may develop being impulsive and regretting their impulsiveness later
• Attachment disorder in an adult may develop want to have control in everything
• Attachment disorder in an adult may develop problems with empathy with others
• Attachment disorder in an adult may develop find it hard to trust others
• Attachment disorder in an adult may develop quickly to feel anger
• Attachment disorder in an adult may be prone to addictive behaviors; drinking, gambling, sex, drugs

Thus the unpredictable nature of your early environment may have left you as an adult with attachment problems, prone to sense threats and changes in your environment. 

This is because that is what your early experiences were like.

FAQ about attachment disorder in adults

References

Tobyingham.com: “attachment-disorder-in-adults”

Better help.com: the prevalence of attachment disorder”

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