Are relationships worth it?

This article will discuss when relationships are not worth it, and when they are worth it. For that, it will show what are signs one should be aware of to make that decision, and what are other factors to consider to maintain and strengthen a relationship.

Why aren’t relationships worth it? 

Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marr... x
Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marriage

Relationships are not worth it when they start to demand from you to diminish yourself. You shouldn’t be in a relationship in which you feel disrespected or go through patterns of abuse.

When you are in a relationship like that it can take a toll on your mental health, and even on your physical well-being. When fidelity starts to be a concern, you shouldn’t be in the relationship as well. 

Of course, every couple has their agreements, so if you ever realize your partner is not keeping to what you have decided, it might be time to call it quits. Otherwise, it can be that the relationship starts to affect your self-worth. You can start to understand that you need to be ok with this sort of thing, and that is not true.

When are relationships worth it? 

Relationships are worth it when they bring happiness and positive experiences to your life. You need to feel like you can be yourself with them, and it makes you feel safe. Along with that, when you are in a relationship that is worth it, you want to spend time together with your partner.

A good relationship will make you grow, and you feel you and your partner challenge each other in a good way. You want them to be happy, and will be by their side as they try for things that can make them happy, and they will do the same for you. 

You both can accept each other’s flaws, and don’t want the person to fill some particular need you have, or to be who you want them to be. Of course, it will have its hard bits,  but through it all, you have a sense that this is something worth the struggle.

How relationships work

Relationships are never a simple thing. It is as if you put two people, and all their thoughts and feelings, in a pan. There will be a mix of each of the patterns of behavior, traumas, and past relationship experiences.

To be in a relationship people need to be open to compromise, respect one another, and even sacrifice themselves at some point. Good communication is the basis of any relationship. You need to be open to listening to things, even if you don’t agree with them, and be able to discuss your point of view.

People should never have the fantasy that their partner needs to be perfect. You can see them at their worst, and you can encourage each other to find the best version of yourself. If you keep expecting to find a perfect partner, you will end up looking for a relationship that doesn’t take work, and that doesn’t exist.

Relationships will not always be about love and smooth sailing. Love is not enough to sustain a relationship. You need to ask yourself if you are open to creating a firm foundation with this person, even though they are not perfect, and if you are willing to commit to them.

This means you will open yourself up, and show your vulnerability so this person can get closer to you. You are not giving up your freedom by being in a relationship, you are rather choosing who you want to share your experiences and feelings with.

What are the signs I should keep an eye on to decide?

If you are considering whether your relationship is worth it or not. There are some things you can think about to make that decision. You can start to question why you got in the relationship and how your partner makes you feel.

When questioning how your partner makes you feel, it might be good to think if that has changed over time. And if you feel like something has changed, how do you feel about this, and if it is worth saving it with all those changes.

Another thing that can let you know if your relationship is worth it is if you notice your partner is putting in the same effort as you to reconnect or meet your needs. If you notice your partner is doing this effort, it might be that they are still open to being in the relationship.

If you think you have reached a fork on the road, instead of pointing the finger at each other, it might be interesting to try to have an open and honest conversation with them. This will help you realize if they are open to working on the relationship, and discover what happened that got you to this place.

You two need to ask yourselves how you got to this situation, and what you can do differently. Aside from that, discuss if you both feel like you have been communicating enough, and effectively. If you feel like you are not, it can be a good idea to look for professional help, to improve your communication.

A key point in figuring out if your relationship is worth saving is understanding if you bring out the best or worse on each other. You want to be in a relationship where you both feel supported, and that even in hard times, you are both willing to be in each other’s corner.

Remember relationships are not always easy, but if you find someone willing to work on the same things you are, and it is mostly a positive relationship, it might be worth working on this relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Why are relationships not worth it?

What are the signs a relationship is worth saving? 

If you are in a relationship and you are still in doubt if it is worth saving, the first thing you should consider is if your partner is as open as you to work on it. If you feel like your partner is not giving up easily on this, and that is open to discussing things over can mean that this is a relationship working for.

Of course, this is not true in all situations. It is a known fact that abusive relationships can have this seduction moment, in which the person seems to be open to change, but it is just a part of a plan to keep the person entangled in their behavior.

If you still find you can be yourself with them, and that they are open to your vulnerability, and to the fact that you are both flawed, it can also be a sign that this is a relationship worth working on. 

When you feel like you still care about them, and are still hopeful about what this relationship can be, it can mean that the relationship is worth saving. But when you become detached about their behavior, it might mean you are no longer involved in the relationship anymore.

In the end, deciding to save a relationship is a joint effort. Both parties need to be open to it, and willing to admit to their shortcomings and in what ways they can change their behaviors.

How can I rekindle my relationship?

If you feel your relationship lost its spark and you are both willing to rekindle it, there are some things you can do. Through communicating you can discover where you lost touch with one another, and put in practice some changes.

You can invite your partner on a spontaneous date, this can show you had them on your mind, and are willing to surprise them. Showing affection is a great way to rekindle a relationship, it can be by writing them a love letter, or sending a sweet text halfway through your day. 

Think of things you both enjoyed doing when you first started dating, and if it is still fitting, bring those first experiences back, it can be through going on a day similar to your first one, or doing a vacation to the same place where you traveled together.

This can help remind you of all you have been through, and what are the positive sides of this relationship. Although you understand a relationship takes a lot of work, having someone willing to work on it with you is something worth living for.

Is it normal to not want a relationship? 

Yes, it is perfectly normal to not want to be in a relationship. It can happen because you are emotionally unavailable at the moment, you might be too invested in yourself, maybe in your career, and other relationships that you are not looking for that kind of connection.

If you have gone through a trauma in a relationship it can also make you want to avoid it. You might want to avoid the risk of suffering or letdown. With those, this might become easier, but if it doesn’t it might be good to look for professional help to deal with this.

It can be that you simply don’t see the need for a relationship, and that is okay. But it can also be something of a defense mechanism when you have low self-esteem, and because you think people won’t want you, you just never put yourself out there.

What does it mean to be Aromantic? 

Being an  Aromantic means a person doesn’t experience romantic attraction or any interest in having a romantic relationship whatsoever. They don’t feel the need for Tha type of connection in their lives.

They are people that don’t fall in love or have crushes, and when they are exposed to romantic stories, they can have a hard time relating to them. But it is important to say that they can love, but their love is directed to their friends or family members, not to a romantic bond. 

Aromantic people aren’t necessarily assexual, and the same goes the other way. An aromatic person can feel the need to have sexual relationships, and people that are assexual can desire to have a close, romantic connection with other people. 

What is Alterous attraction?

Alterous attraction is a concept that means you have a type of attraction to a person in which a person longs to an emotional closeness with someone in a way they are not exclusively platonic nor completely romantic,  it is somewhere in between.

It has been called a type of orientation, in which people have the intense desire to be emotionally close to someone. It is a concept that is connected to the aromantic community. 

Conclusion

The article discussed when relationships are not worth it, and when they are worth it. For that, the article set some things people should be aware of in their relationship to decide if they are worth it or not. And what are ways to maintain and make a relationship stronger.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.

References

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-know-if-your-relationship-is-worth-saving-5190891

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