Am I Manipulative? (Quiz)

You can answer the question if you are manipulative by checking on the signs that apply to you below. You might think that you are a good person but there may be times where you were able to manipulate a person even if you didn’t know you were really manipulating that person.

Some people are already used to manipulating others for the sake of getting what they want or for their own protection. Irina Firstein, LCSW who is a New York-based therapist states that manipulative behaviour in relationships can lead to resentment over time which is customary since most people won’t appreciate being manipulated since they feel like fools when they are being manipulated.

The following are manipulative behaviours that you might have done in your life that you might be aware of or not:

Saying “But wouldn’t you like…?”

This is an example of an innocent suggestion where the person might like something else instead of the one he or she chooses. This is a manipulative behaviour that is typically used by store clerks where you might like another dress instead of the one you already chosen and sometimes, you might not notice that a person is doing this behaviour and you can’t even tell if it’s manipulative or not.

Behaviour that says “Totally up to you, but…”

This is similar to the innocent suggestion where you are made to make a choice from your group of friends but one of them insists on another suggestion. This can make the decision-making process prolonged since one of your friends decided that he or she didn’t like the movie you have chosen and would try to get his or her choice in the front.

In this case, this is an indirect saying that the person doesn’t like your choice and would insist to you that you choose the person’s choice.

I forgot again (and again) as a reply.

This is a reply that insists that the person is trying to slack off. This can be manifested when the person seems to not be doing the required household chores.

The person can tell you that he or she has forgotten that it was his or her turn to do the dishes and will try to make up for the lost chore. However, this behaviour becomes more manipulative when the person keeps doing it for a long time if you let him or her get it.

Promises, promises

There is a need to promise too much and this can become a manipulative behaviour, especially when they are not done. Some people would try to give false reassurance to people and this is one of those manipulative behaviours.

You are trying to give people that you don’t have to worry about anything even though there is a lot to worry when you suddenly broke it in the end.

Saying and behaving as I’ll just do it myself…

This is the time when someone acts all martyr but this is considered a form of manipulative behaviour due to its real intent. This is where people will act like they can do the project themselves but they are secretly in a passive-aggressive behaviour against the people who won’t do the job right.

Radio silence

The silent treatment is one of the most common manipulative tactics that people use to gain some control over the stressful situation. This is to help the affected person not to conflict themselves with the present problem that is disturbing them.

This will also allow the person to keep his or her pride and let the person to blame apologize for the misgivings first.

Am I Manipulative? Test

This test will be answering the question if you are manipulative or not. You might be inquiring about having this trait when you notice that you easily let people do things that you want them to do.

Instructions: The following questions imply if you are manipulative or not. Please read the questions carefully and choose the choice that applies to you in each question. Please answer the questions honestly to get an accurate result.

You can also take the Am i straight quiz or Am i selfish quiz.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

If your friend owes you money and he or she is showing no signs of paying you back, do you try to give a higher amount just to make sure that your friend can pay you back?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Do you usually make other people feel guilty about their actions toward you?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Would you take the leadership role when a group is clearly lacking a leader?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Would you leave your partner be when you know he or she is cheating on you?

  • Yes – 0
  • No – 1

Do you believe that you don’t have the control?

  • Yes – 0
  • No – 1

Do you concentrate much on personal image?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Do you make sure that your idea is given more attention when you are in a group situation?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Do you consider yourself as an attention seeker?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Do people often consider you as persuasive?

  • Yes – 1
  • No – 0

Do you have a lot of close friends in your life?

  • Yes – 0
  • No – 1

Total scoring criteria:

6 – 10 points – manipulative

4 – 5 points – somewhat manipulative

0 – 3 points – not manipulative

What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues

Relationship counselling

  • If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.

LGBTQ issues

If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.


Greatist. 6 Ways You’re Being Manipulative Without Even Knowing It.

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