9w8 anger issues (how to deal with)
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this article, we are talking about how the Enneagram 9w8 deals with his/her anger issues.
About the 9w8 – The referee
Examples of personalities: Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Lady Bird Johnson, Kevin Costner, Sophia Loren, Walter Cronkite, Whoopi Goldberg, Janet Jackson, Ringo Starr, Ingrid Bergman.
Healthy subtype: These individuals combine inner strength and endurance with the ability to be pleasant and to caress others.
They are at the same time strong and delicate, able to relate very easily to people but also to things; mediates people and reduces conflicts. He is always looking for new projects to change his routine periodically.
They are practical and concerned about their immediate needs, as well as the physical and financial aspects that surround them.
More sociable than the other subtype, they generally prefer to work in a team. They excel in self-help and consulting professions and can be very efficient in business, especially in negotiations and human resources.
Medium subtype: They like to be in society and have fun and are tempted to get lost in sensuality or comfortable habits that can prevent them from focusing on important goals.
They can be stubborn and defensive, they tend to stand still and not listen to anyone.
Most are temperamental people and it is difficult, as a rule, to figure out what triggers their unstable attitudes: threats to their own well-being or family, job, or beliefs – these are the most common reasons.
They can be brutal and explosive, only to suddenly return to a state of calm and placidity.
9w8 anger issues, stubbornness and inner resilience
“I will deal with this later. “
Nine people are probably very aware that they need to focus their attention and energy in order to develop, evolve, cope with problems, or to interact stably and meaningfully with others.
But they feel an indefinite hesitation as if it takes a huge effort to take part in their own lives.
Everything seems to be too much trouble. Many of us remember the mornings when we bathed in wonderful dreams, but we still had to wake up, get out of bed, and solve difficult problems.
We are all tempted to press the sleep button to give ourselves a few extra minutes of rest and relaxation. It even happens that we press it several times: enough to make us late.
The Nine have a similar psychic mechanism that causes them to delay spiritual awakening.
The harder they press around them to wake up and react, the more they retreat to the sanctuary.
They want to “get rid of the hassle” so that they comply, agreeing to pay any price for peace.
9w8 Repressed anger and pain
“The more often you mention it, the less I want to do it. “
People of type Nine at the lower-middle level give the impression that they show no signs of aggression or assertiveness.
Under the neutral appearance of gratitude, we often find deep resentments and anger buried deep, which the Nine guys neither want to be aware of nor to face.
9w8 anger is an instinctive response, and if it is not realized in time, it turns into anger. 9w8 people fear that if they let their anger surface, they would lose the two basic elements of their lives: inner peace and connections with others.
In fact, the truth is just the opposite. Once aware, anger can also serve as the perfect fuel to free them from inner inertia.
The Nine guys are angry for many reasons, not all very obvious. Subconsciously, they are angry because they do not have enough “space” to live a life of their own.
They are so busy adapting to those around them and maintaining harmony in their relationships that they gradually accumulate far too much resentment.
They are also angry because, from their point of view, others always upset them with something, pulling them to act when they want to be left alone, or reminding them of problems and difficulties when they try so hard. much to avoid them.
Another reason for their anger is that they feel trampled on, they feel that others have taken advantage of them and they could not do anything about it.
At a lower, pathological level, they tend to become “mats” and passively bear everything thrown around them.
They get stuck, freeze in situations where their instinctive self-defence responses are needed.
They feel that they are not able to protect themselves properly, to support their point of view or to act in time to advance their own interests.
This feeling of powerlessness is the most significant cause of repressed anger.
We always perceive anger as something negative. But it also has a positive side, a much less understood side: its ability to remove the inner blockages that hold us captive in our own minds and souls; the ability to put one’s foot in the door, to draw boundaries and to defend our point of view.
Much of the recovery work for type Nine means being aware of the low level of energy and bringing anger to the surface.
9w8 Anger integration
You have to accept the idea that anger is not a bad thing and start seeing it as a force to which you have every right. Spiritually, anger gives us the strength to say “no” – to protect ourselves from something we don’t want to be a part of.
Therefore, it would be very helpful to start saying no to the things you don’t want.
If you feel guilty or fearful after doing this, just notice these reactions and stay calm and focused. Be careful, however, to say “no” only in situations where this is the case.
If you make a mistake, it’s better to make a “too many NO” mistake, at least for a while, until you get used to it.
Red flags
If they have suffered a major crisis, without adequate support or appropriate methods of coping, or if they have been chronically abused as children, they could reach the critical point and reach an unhealthy level of development.
In these moments he realizes that their problems, crises and sufferings do not simply disappear through ignorance, but even because of their lack of action could worsen.
Reality forces them to solve their problems. Despite their denial, the police bring the child home, the husband with “a small problem with alcohol” loses his job, or the knot in the breast has not disappeared in time, as he hoped.
Although such situations are appalling, they can be a turning point in the life of a Nine. They can now move to a healthy level, to liberation.
On the other hand, it is just as likely to become even more stubborn and fixate on maintaining the illusion that all is well. (“Why does everyone want to upset me?” The more you mention this, the more I lose my temper.)
If these behaviours persist, they will reach unhealthy levels of development.
If you or someone you know shows signs of damage for more than two to three weeks, we recommend counselling, therapy, or other forms of support.
Tips for managing anger issues and stubbornness
- Although humility is an admirable human trait, it is not one that requires too much effort. Learn to differentiate between true humility and the tendency to minimize your personality and skills. In other words, remember the social role of the Nine guys and be careful not to fall into his trap.
You may end up feeling overwhelmed by life’s problems and think you have little to offer others, but a brief look at the discord, violence, and suffering in the world can give you an idea of what YOU CAN do.
The energy needed to restore the balance of this turbulent world is the calm, healing, reconciling energy of a healthy 9.
When you are truly connected to yourself, you have all the power and ability to deal with any situation.
- Learn the value of the word “no”. It is perfectly natural not to want to disappoint those around you, but when you are offered a proposal that you do not agree with, it is better to make known the limits you want to impose, than to say “Yes” and say then regret it later.
- Learn to see what YOU want from a certain situation. It often happens that you consider so many opinions and desires of others that you forget about your own. Because of this old habit, you may not immediately realize what you want. If necessary, do not hesitate to ask others for a break to weigh the options. And don’t shy away from following your own choice when it comes down to it. Remember that you have the right to want too.
Conclusions
In this article, we talked about how the Enneagram 9w8 deals with his/her anger issues.
9w8 anger is an instinctive response, and if it is not realized in time, it turns into anger. 9w8 people fear that if they let their anger surface, they would lose the two basic elements of their lives: inner peace and connections with others.
The Nine guys are angry for many reasons, not all very obvious. Subconsciously, they are angry because they do not have enough “space” to live a life of their own.
They are so busy adapting to those around them and maintaining harmony in their relationships that they gradually accumulate far too much resentment.
If you have any questions, comments or recommendations on the subject, please let us know!
FAQ on 9w8 anger
What is a 9w8?
The 9w8 Enneagram types are practical and concerned about their immediate needs, as well as the physical and financial aspects that surround them.
More sociable than the other subtype, they generally prefer to work in a team.
They excel in self-help and consulting professions and can be very efficient in business, especially in negotiations and human resources.
Are Enneagram 9’s lazy?
The laziness of the 9 types derives from the desire not to involve his whole being in the activity he undertakes.
They are not necessarily lazy when it comes to everyday things – on the contrary, they can be very hard workers, running a business or maintaining a house.
What does an Enneagram 9 go to in stress?
When an Enneagram 9 is stressed, they fall into a deep apathy about their lives and can become sluggish, erased and unproductive.
They end up being “chronic couch vegetables”, emotionally closed and slowly wasting their health, relationships and possibilities. Addictions are common.
What Enneagram number is Trump?
Further reading
The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth, by Christopher L. Heuertz
References
The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types, by Don Richard Riso
Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery, by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson
Understanding the Enneagram: The Practical Guide to Personality Types, by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson
Enneagrampaths.com