Hey Optimist Minds!
Have you ever had a fake friend? Were you at any point convinced that they really cared about you?
Having a fake friend is worse than having no friends at all. They tend to be disrespectful, exploitative, and often only associate with you for selfish agendas. Finding out that your friend is fake sucks because it breaks your trust and makes you wary of future friendships.
When you spend too much time with fake friends, it causes unnecessary stress and drama in your life. They end up hurting your feelings and potentially damaging your self-esteem and self-worth.
This video will describe nine things that fake friends do. Identifying these behaviours can help you distance yourself from their toxicity. If you’ve been dealing with fake friends for a long time, we recommend speaking to a guidance counsellor to understand better how the friendship impacted you.
Now, let’s begin.
They lie to you.
The primary trait that makes a friend fake is dishonesty. You expect your friends to preserve your trust in them. That’s what lets you open up in front of them.
But friends who don’t value you will keep things from you. They might be doing it to avoid any unpleasant reaction from you. Regardless, it’s unfair to make you believe something that isn’t true.
They do things that hurt you.
Whether they do it intentionally or not, fake friends can hurt you in unexpected ways. Even when they do it by accident, they don’t take accountability for it and try to minimise your pain.
However, since all humans make mistakes, don’t think every friend who hurts you is fake. Only the ones who do it deliberately or don’t make it up to you aren’t worth your time.
They prioritise others over you.
A fake friend rarely has you at the top of their list of priorities. Instead, they choose to give more importance to their other social circles. If there’s a clash between your plans and those of anyone else, they’ll cancel or postpone meeting you to be with them.
They make lots of excuses.
Your fake friend will often drop plans at the last minute or fail to show up when you need them. Each time they disappoint you, instead of telling you the truth that they don’t care enough about you, they’ll come up with all sorts of excuses. They might even act extra sweet and convince you to not be mad about it.
They make empty promises.
Usually, when a fake friend tries to diffuse your reaction, they make you promises that they have no intention of keeping. The idea is to get you off their backs for now and then come up with more excuses later. Sometimes, they could even mean the promise and still flake out at the time of delivery.
It’s common for most fake friends to be two-faced. They act nice and caring in front of you but the moment you’ve turned your back, they say nasty things about you. If they really don’t like you, they might be the ones initiating the backbiting. Otherwise, it’s also likely that they would participate in or silently witness others making fun of you.
They disclose your secrets.
As friends, you might have revealed some personal or private information about yourself in confidence. A fake friend won’t respect that and may expose your secrets to people who have no business knowing about it.
Some fake friends just do it out of negligence, but more sinister ones might use your insecurities against you.
They get you in trouble.
At times, fake friends can act in petty and vindictive ways if they’re holding a grudge against you. They might abuse your trust in them to sabotage your work, reputation, or relationships with other people.
Generally, when someone does this, they have it planned in advance. So, it’s possible that they were only pretending to be your friend to put you in a vulnerable position.
They keep things transactional.
Since the friendship is fake, so is the affection. A fake friend will only be nice to you in exchange for special favours. Maybe you possess something that they want so they give you the impression that they like you.
If the fake friend does anything for you, they’ll keep a track of it to later coerce you into doing something in return.
Did any of these behaviours remind you of someone you know? Do you think that person might be a fake friend? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.
Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.