9 Signs You Are Not Relationship-Ready

Hey Optimist Minds!

We all want to find that special someone who we can share our lives with. Someone whose company we enjoy and support we rely on. 

But to find an individual who loves you as much as you love them, you have to be ready for such a commitment. Serious romantic relationships don’t last long unless both partners put in effort.

You need to take care of yourself, work on sustaining a connection, and weave your lives together through teamwork. It’s hard to do any of that if you’re not ready for a relationship.

If you’re not sure yet whether you’re prepared for a committed relationship, this video might be of help. Here are nine signs you’re not relationship-ready. 

Before we start, a quick disclaimer: these signs are not permanent so if you’re not in the right space for a relationship today, you can always work on changing it till you’re ready.

Let’s begin.


You have trouble communicating.

One of the most crucial ingredients of successful relationships is open and honest communication. If this is something that you struggle with, it will be hard for you to connect with your partner. 

You need to be able to talk about each other’s desires and needs. Sometimes you’ll have to keep talking even if it’s an uncomfortable conversation. So if the thought of doing that makes you hesitate, getting into a relationship might not be a good idea.


You haven’t learned how to process your emotions.

All relationships have clashes and conflicts at some point, which is why communication is so important. The more you talk about each other’s feelings, the easier it is to resolve conflicts. 

However, the entire exercise fails to be constructive if you don’t know how to process your emotions. You might get confused or overwhelmed whenever there’s an argument. It might make you act in ways that you later regret. Then, it’ll probably take a bit of unhealthy drama before things can get back to normal.


You can’t trust other people.

Trust issues are a major obstacle when it comes to being in a relationship. Perhaps something happened in the past that hurt you a lot. Because of it, you find it hard to be vulnerable in front of people who care about you. You’re always worried about getting hurt again. 

This fear will hold you back because you’ll keep your guards up all the tiem. Even if someone fell in love with you, you won’t be able to let them in.


You don’t have a healthy work life balance.

Do you spend most of your time at work? Even when you’re supposed to be enjoying your personal time, do you stay preoccupied with thoughts related to work?

If you want to get into a relationship, you need to devote time, energy, and other resources to it. The bond you and your partner share won’t stay the same if you’re more invested in your profession than you are in each other.


You try to change your partner.

Have you ever pushed anyone you were intimate with to do things they wouldn’t have done otherwise? Do you sometimes go overboard in trying to make your partner becomes someone they’re not?

It might feel like you’re simply supporting them to meet their full potential. But it stops being supportive if you take away autonomy. If you can’t let your significant other make their own decisions, you’re not ready for commitment.


You’re still in love with someone else.

Let’s say you were deeply in love with someone but it didn’t work out. You guys broke up and now you’re feeling lonely and unhappy. It’s common to try moving on by seeing new people. 

But as long as you’re still in love with your ex, you won’t be able to be there for your new love interest completely. That’s unfair, especially if this other person has strong feelings for you.


You want to focus on other areas of your life.

A relationship shouldn’t be on your list of priorities if you are determined to concentrate on a different goal. For example, an important career step, overcoming health issues, or caregiving of a dependent. 

It is possible to do these things and still be seeing someone. Nevertheless, if your partner isn’t willing to be extra supportive and compromising, it’s not the right time for you to be in a relationship.


You don’t hold yourself accountable for your actions.

Long-lasting relationships are no child-s play. They require you to act like an adult, which includes being responsible for your behaviour. 

When you’re with someone, there will be many occasions when your choices will impact your partner. In those times, you’ll have to take accountability for it, especially if the impact is negative. Until you can do that consistently, you’re not ready for love.


You want someone to rescue you.

A lot of people grow up believing that the right love will fix their lives. They just need to find their soulmate and everything will get better. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. 

To make a relationship survive the test of time, you need to take charge of your own life. The most you can expect from your partner is their company and support. You can’t shove the entire responsibility of your happiness onto them and they can’t do the same to you.

Until you accept that, relationships aren’t meant for you.

Did any of the things we talked about seem familiar to you? Do you think you’re ready for a relationship? Share your thoughts with us in the comments. We;d love to hear from you.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.


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