What are the 9 emotional stages of a dumper?

This article will center on showing what are the emotional stages of a dumper and what is usually going through their mind in which of them.

What are the 9 emotional stages of a dumper? 

Ending a relationship is not always easy. If you are considering ending your relationship, or have just been broken up with, here are the stages that the person that decided to end the relationship may be going through as they get ready to call it quits.


This may not be something that will happen to all dumpers. But it can often happen in relationships where there was cheating, and this may be what is leading the dumper to consider ending the relationship. 

They can become so enraged by the fact that they can begin to act around the other person in one of two ways: they can give them the silent treatment, or have intense outbursts. This depends on their personality, and how they usually deal with stressful situations. 


When they have processed their rage, they can become worried about how it would be to end the relationship. Everything can be worrying them at this point. How they would do it, what they would say, and how their life would be after the breakup. 

Worrying about losing the other person may be a real concern, and how your relationship will be afterward, if you decide to be friends, can also cross their minds. In this stage, they may be more closed off, as they are thinking more about if they should end the relationship, and the implications this can have. 

During this time they can become more anxious, as they realize the relationship will end. This may hit the other person like there is something wrong, but because the dumper is still processing it, they won’t talk about it. As they decide what to say, and how to do it.

Feeling relief 

When they have finally decided on it and cared about breaking up with you, they may get a sense of relief, even if they are not still completely sure that they did the right thing. This is what may prevent them from feeling happy about it. 

But the relief will come from the idea that they no longer need to think about what they are going to do. In some way, the decision was made, and now they just need to face up to what their life will be like. 

Trying new things 

When the dumper has ended the relationship, they can feel extremely excited about trying new things. They may open themselves up to new friendships, get a new haircut, and maybe even a new hobby.

During this stage, they may try to avoid thinking about the person they have just broken up with. So they may find other ways to fill their lives. It is at this stage that most dumpers will often start a rebound relationship, so they can forget their ex faster.

Having sympathy 

At this stage, the dumper can begin to feel sorry for the person they have broken up with. They may have it in their minds that they did what they had to do, and they know that the relationship had to end. But still, they will be sad about causing you pain.

In this stage, they may start to ask themselves if they could have done things differently, or if they could have been kinder to you. It is a stage in which they will feel extremely guilty, and because of that, they can try to reach out to the other person to make sure they are doing well. 

That nostalgic feeling 

At some point, after the breakup, when all that ecstasy, and excitement for the new things may start to wear off, the dumper can experience a sense of nostalgia. This is the point at which they may start to miss their ex and the life they shared.

In this stage, everything will make them remember the person they broke up with. It can be something they talked about or something they enjoyed doing together. And at this stage, they may want to get in touch, and may even tell the other person how much they miss them.

Feeling confused 

If they have tried to get in touch with the other person, and the other person has decided to cut contact completely, they may begin to feel extremely confused. 

They may not be understanding what is going on in the mind of the person they dumped, and if you don’t have each other on social media anymore they may be wondering what is happening in the person’s life.

In this stage, the dumper can begin to ask themselves if the other person already has met someone new, and can try to get in touch through various methods.


In this stage, they are still going through that confusion, and begin to wonder if they did the right thing by ending the relationship. If you were the one that was broken up with, this is usually the time you will feel better.

You will see that they are missing you. And since the dumper has no idea of what is going on in their mind, they will keep trying to reach out to you, and if the other person agrees to talk to them, they may admit that breaking up was a mistake.

Facing what is

At this moment, the dumper will face what has come of their actions. They will either face the reconciliation if the other person is open to it. Or they will face the end of the relationship and will accept it, and move on.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are the 9 emotional stages of a dumper? 

How do I know my ex misses me?

Some signs will let you know that your ex misses you. One of them is that they will try to reach out to you, especially on important dates, it is an indicator that they are missing you. Aside from that, it is possible that at some point they can begin to show regret about it. 

And if you realize they are being too active on your social media, it may be a sign they are missing you. People around you may also begin to say to you that they miss you, and at some point, you may begin to run into them a lot, because they are trying to make themselves present.

Wanting to spend time together, and going through the past over and over again may be a sign they miss you as well. If they are trying to make you jealous, just jumping into a new relationship right away is also a huge indicator that they miss you, or if you realized that they are single for a long time after the two of you ended the relationship.

They may still miss you if they write you back right away, and when they get in touch with you while they are drunk. If they are finding reasons to stay in touch, and still want to be friends, it may be a sign that they miss you. 

Aside from that, if they still want to discuss what went through between the two of you, and are often thinking about what could have been, then they surely still miss you.

What are the signs my ex has moved on?

When your ex moves on, there may be some signs. The first one is that the communication between the two of you will decrease. And when you are interacting with each other, it won’t be as fun as it used to be. 

When the interaction is less awkward, it may also be a sign that there is no tension anymore, and they have moved on.

Aside from that, when your ex gets into a serious relationship with someone else is also a clear sign that they have moved on. They have dealt with your relationship, and are now ready to be open to someone else.

Why did my ex move on so quickly?

There are a few reasons why your ex may have moved on so quickly, and it is you, that knows them, that may have a better chance of saying what sounds more accurate. 

It can be that they have moved on quickly as a way to not be alone. To some people alone seems impossible, they don’t know what to do with themselves. In those cases, as soon as they end the relationship, your ex may already start looking for another person.

Your ex may also have moved on so quickly as a way to not get sucked into the emotions of the breakup is giving them. Some people have trouble processing emotions, so they may need to focus on something else rather than feeling what they are feeling.

Aside from that, your ex may have taken a long time to make the final decision to end the relationship. When that is the case, it may be that, by the time they broke it off, they were already emotionally detached from the relationship, which led them to move on quite fast after it was done.

Do men or women get over a relationship faster?

According to a survey, men will usually be the ones that get over a relationship faster. But it is important to know that there are social aspects to that. 

That is because women are usually more comfortable with their emotions, and because of that, they will allow themselves to grieve right after the relationship ends, and become better after a while.

As for men, they tend to deal with the breakup differently. First, they will be over the relationship and feel free. But after a while, they usually come to realize that freedom is not all they thought it would be, and in that time they may begin to grieve the relationship.

What is the 3-month rule after a breakup?

The 3-month rule after a breakup says that the former parts of a couple should usually wait 3 months before they go back to dating again. And even though some people will follow this rule, it is important to know that this can change from one person to the next.

You should begin to date again as you feel it is healthy, and you are ready for it, some times it can take less time, and others more. 


This article showed you what are the emotional stages a dumper will go through, and what are the things that may be going through their mind during this time.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


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