7 Ways to Spot a Toxic Boyfriend

Hey Optimist Minds!

Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy who didn’t respect you? Was he unsupportive or mean to you?

A toxic boyfriend is one who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He becomes toxic for you because he’s harming your psychological wellbeing or creating unnecessary negativity in your life.

In this video, we’re going to explain how to know if your boyfriend is toxic. Learning the signs can help you recognise that he is bad for you and distance yourself from him.

Before we begin, we want our viewers to know that just because a person is toxic for you, doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a bad person. The toxic behaviours likely come from a place of poor mental health. Only use this information for educational purposes and not to judge or shame anyone.

Now, here are seven ways to spot a toxic boyfriend.


Does he want you to spend all your time with him?

Sometimes, it feels like your boyfriend is so attached to you that he wants every minute of your time shared with him. But in reality, it’s not good for you if that means time taken away from other significant areas of your life.

For example, maybe he wants you to bail on your friends and family to hang out with him. If you try to say no, he convinces you that giving him what he wants is better for you than anything else that you need to do.


Does he get overprotective and possessive?

It could be that behind the overt attachment lies the insecurity of losing you. A toxic boyfriend will get extremely jealous if you want to spend time with others, even if they mean a lot to you.

He might ask you to stop seeing them and come up with reasons why they’re bad for you. He might also start suspecting infidelity even though you’ve been nothing but loyal.


Are you afraid of his reactions?

Do you think a hundred times before sharing your thoughts with your boyfriend? Does it feel like you’re tiptoeing around him to avoid a conflict?

Perhaps you justify it to yourself thinking that he’s short-tempered or too sensitive. But the truth is that if you can’t be yourself comfortably in front of your better half, then maybe, he’s not the right one for you.


Does he try to control you?

A big red flag for a toxic partner is controlling behaviour. Ask yourself if you feel like your boyfriend has power over you. Do you feel like you have to obey him in order to maintain peace?

Perhaps he’s always telling you what you should or shouldn’t do. Or, he has many rules about which behaviours are considered acceptable. The bottom line is that if your guy makes you do things you don’t want to, he’s toxic to you.


Have you caught him lying?

Trust is the hallmark of any long-lasting relationship. That trust gets shattered when there is dishonesty. Has your boyfriend lied to you about something? Maybe it was regarding his whereabouts, his past, or something more serious like cheating on you.

Once you catch the lie, observe how he reacts. If he admits his mistake and makes up for it, that’s something worth staying for. But if he dismisses, denies, or minimises his lie, you can be sure that he’s toxic and will lie again.


Is he abusive?

Does your boyfriend hurt you physically, sexually, or emotionally? Does he yell at you, insult, demean, or make you doubt yourself?

Typically, it’s hard for survivors of abusive relationships to fully acknowledge what is happening to them and to protect themselves from their intimate partner. If your boyfriend is abusive, you probably have a hard time wrapping your head around it.

Most abusive relationships aren’t always unpleasant. They usually start on a honeymoon phase and occasionally show glimpses of the same happy times between conflicts.


Does he take accountability for his actions?

The most effective way to spot if someone is toxic is to see if they can take responsibility for their behaviour. Making mistakes or accidentally hurting others is a part of being human. 

A person only becomes toxic when they either feel no remorse for what they did, refuse to acknowledge the errors or pretend like it isn’t a big deal. If your boyfriend doesn’t hold himself accountable for how he treats you, he’s definitely toxic.

Have you seen any of these behaviours in your boyfriend? Do you think your man might be toxic? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.


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