7 Signs You Hate Your Parents

By OptimistMinds
Page last updated: 01/09/2022 | Next review date: 01/09/2024

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The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter.  The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.


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Hey Optimist Minds!

Do you share a complicated relationship with your parents? Do you sometimes wish they weren’t related to you?

Believe it or not, a lot of people grow up hating their parents. This is typical when there is neglect, abuse, and manipulation involved. A parent’s job is to make their child feel safe and raise them to become independent adults. 

Not everyone manages to do that successfully. As a result, numerous kids spend most of their lives having strong negative feelings for their parents. These are generally intense and confusing emotions since children can’t help but love their parents, even when they’re being mistreated.

If you’re not given the right support and space to explore such feelings, you might enter adulthood unsure of how you feel about your parents. The lack of clarity will make you super sensitive to the topic of parenting, leading to unpredictable emotional outbursts.

This video will discuss seven signs you hate your parents. Understanding how you feel is the first step to overcome the damage caused by complicated parent-child relationships. We recommend speaking to a therapist to make this process easier.

Now, let’s begin.

One

You avoid calling them.

Once you move out of your parents’ home, the quickest way to initiate contact is through the phone. But if you hate your parents, you’ll find yourself avoiding all communication. 

You might forget to ring them or answer their calls and texts. It could take you days or even weeks to get back to them. And if you’re really mad at them, you might become estranged before you even realise what happened.

Two

You don’t trust them.

It’s really hard to love someone if you don’t trust them. Maybe your parents, intentionally or inadvertently, did many things that hurt you a lot. Perhaps they betrayed you over and over and now their words don’t mean anything to you.

Parents usually have to disappoint their child several times for them to stop giving another chance. So, if you don’t trust your parents anymore, they probably did something to deserve it.

Three

You detest birthdays and holidays.

If you haven’t cut off your parents from your life, and you can’t stand them, special occasions must be a nightmare for you. You’re forced to face the people who hurt you the most and do it with a smile. Otherwise, you’re blamed for being a party pooper.

These dates could also be reminders of unpleasant memories that took place in your childhood. Abusive parents often tend to create drama around festivals and family gatherings.

Four

You don’t tell them about important life events.

Big events in life, whether happy or sad, are things that you’d typically tell your folks… if you could depend on them for support. 

However, if your parents have only been a source of negativity for you, there’s no way you would want them to know what’s happening in your life. You might be afraid that they’ll make good news bad and bad news worse.

Five

You don’t want your significant other to meet them.

In most committed relationships, there comes a time when you want to introduce each other to your families. This is a big step that comes when you’re sure you want to share your life with this person.

If you’ve found the person you might someday get married to and you have no intention of ever introducing them to your parents, it’s likely that you hate them. You probably don’t want them to interfere in your love life.

Six

They’re the last people you go to for help.

Your parents are supposed to be the people you rely on in times of need. But that only happens if they took care of you throughout your life. 

Now, if they failed to protect you or look after your needs, you probably don’t expect that to change at any point. Consequently, you hesitate or avoid going to them for help.

Seven

You often think about them dying.

Have you ever thought about the relief you might feel if your parents suddenly died? It’s actually not uncommon to see their death as an escape from their abuse. 

Thoughts like this can be pretty guilt-inducing but they don’t come from nowhere. If you’re thinking on such extreme lines, you must have a lot of anger and resentment inside you.

Do any of the signs mentioned here apply to you? Do you think you might be hating your parents? Please share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments. The Optimist Minds community could benefit from hearing from you.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.

References

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