Hey Optimist Minds!
Have you heard the quote, “we don’t lose friends; we just learn who the real ones are”?
Friendship is an important source of mutual affection in life. It’s one that comes with the freedom to be yourself and a lesser degree of responsibility to look after each other. Our friends provide us support, entertainment, and acceptance.
But that’s only when they are real friends. A fake friend is someone who is more of a taker than a giver in the relationship. They expect all the perks of being your friend but do not contribute to the friendship in meaningful ways.
If you’ve been wondering whether your friends are fake, this video should be of help. We’re going to describe seven signs of a fake friend. Use this information to protect yourself from being exploited. However, this video is not meant to judge or shame anyone for not being a good friend.
Now, let’s begin.
They criticise you a lot.
Does your friend frequently tell you what’s wrong with you or your work? Do they say it in a belittling way?
A fake friend will have much more negative feedback to give than positive. They tend to point out your insecurities through rude comments, inappropriate jokes, or sarcasm. When you try to address this, they might dismiss it and call you over-sensitive.
It’s mostly you who initiates contact.
Does it sometimes feel like you’re more interested in hanging out than your friend? Is it always you who has to text first or plan a meet-up?
You can tell that a friend doesn’t really care about you if they never show any enthusiasm in making plans with you. They might be fine with tagging along when it’s convenient for them but otherwise, it feels pretty one-sided.
They minimise your success.
Your friends are supposed to be rooting for you. They’re the ones you go to excitedly to celebrate your accomplishments. But a fake friend won’t match your mood levels.
Instead, they might say something implying that it’s not that big of a deal. Alternatively, they’ll tell you what’s wrong about the thing you’re sharing and why you shouldn’t be feeling so happy in the first place.
They don’t stand up for you.
If someone is making fun of your or disrespecting you in any way, does your friend speak up?
A real friend wouldn’t able to silently witness others mistreating you. They would do something to intervene or check with you to see how you want to respond to the situation.
On the other hand, a fake friend won’t bat any eye and might even participate in the bullying. Later, they’ll make up an excuse for that and try to distract you from the incident.
They never show up when you need them.
In moments of vulnerability, does your friend fail to bet there for you? Let’s say that you’re in trouble or you are goind through something terrible. In such times, it’s okay to expect your friends to show up in whatever way they can.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or the solution to your problem. Just knowing that they’re there for you is usually enough to feel supported. Unfortunately, fake friends don’t provide even the slightest bit of help.
They either do something too little too late, or make more excuse about why they couldn’t come.
They expect your help whenever they need it.
The ironic thing about fake friendships is that despite never helping you, your friend feels entitled to have your support. It’s not uncommon for them to take advantage of you.
For example, you might have material wealth that attracts them or maybe you’re good at something they need help with. A fake friend will use friendship as a ruse to meet their ulterior motives.
They choose others over you.
A lot of the excuses you’ll hear from a fake friend might involve other people in their lives. For example, they’ll say they can’t show up because they have plans with a romantic partner.
Or they may disinvite you from a hang out saying that their other friends might not be comfortable in your company. It’s typical for fake friends to make you feel like an outsider. You’ll always keep wondering how to get them to like you more.
Did any of these signs remind you of a friend? Do you think any your friends isn’t genuine one? Share your thoughts and stories in the comment section.
A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.
Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.