7 Differences Between Having a Crush & Being in Love

Hey Optimist Minds!

Have you ever wondered how having a crush is different from being in love? Both concepts involve feeling desire and attachment towards a specific person. In both situations, you feel drawn to the other individual in a strange and unexplainable way.

When you start getting attracted to someone, it’s hard to tell whether what you’re feeling is just a crush or true love since both leave you smitten. Nevertheless, it’s important to figure it out so that you can reflect on your choices and actions.

In this video, we’re going to discuss some of the differences between a crush and love. This information can help you understand your feelings better so that you can take the right steps forward. However, since love is highly subjective, only you can be sure whether what you’re feeling is the real deal or not.

So, here are seven differences between having a crush and being in love.


Love lasts longer.

The biggest difference between the two lies in the duration of attachment. If you have a crush, you might feel a sudden onset of attraction. The emotions may be intense and fast-paced but only time can tell how long they’ll last.

Crushes generally fade away as time passes but love on the other hand stays the same for long periods. You could be in love for years and decades but crushes feel a lot more temporary.


Crushes tend to be obsessive.

Both crushes and love can make you feel overwhelmed and cause you to act in ways you’ve never done before. But a crush can lead to compulsive and reckless behaviour. You start to covet the person you like. 

Love too can impact your judgement but it comes with more respect. When you love someone, you don’t violate their boundaries just because you’re so fond of being close to them.


Love requires knowing each other well.

You could have a crush on someone you’ve never actually spoken to. It’s possible to not know a single thing about them and still feel a strong connection. 

But you can’t be in love with the person if you don’t know who they are. At best, you can fall for the idea of them but that’s not the same as being in love. 


A crush is more superficial.

Generally, crushes develop because you’re attracted to someone’s appearance, identity, social status, or the best parts about their personality. They have more to do with what’s on the surface. 

In contrast, love goes a lot deeper. When you love someone, you accept all of them; their strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and flaws. You don’t just want their best version, you want the entire package.


Crushes are easier to get over.

Since a crush doesn’t run as deep as love, you can move on from it more quickly. It can feel devastating initially but it doesn’t take too long for you to get past it. Before you realise it, you’re thinking about someone else.

Conversely, being broken-hearted in love is a terrible experience that isn’t easy on anyone. It’s extremely painful and persistent and can leave long-term emotional wounds as well.


Love is more selfless.

If you think about it, having a crush is pretty selfish. It’s all about how you want someone to be there in your life because you have feelings for them. Any affection formed in a crush is self-serving. 

In comparison, love is a lot more wholesome and kind. If you’re in love with your partner, their happiness matters more to you than having them in your life.


Love takes hard work.

It doesn’t take much effort to have a crush as there is no sense of obligation or commitment. Being in love involves a lot of effort that must be done by both individuals. 

The effort goes into honesty, trust, communication, and conflict resolution. Love requires patience, acceptance, and perseverance. All that a crush needs are a bit of lust and some hormonal activity.

Now that we’re done discussing the differences, do you have a better idea about how you feel? Do you think that your affection for your person of interest comes from a crush or are you in love? Share your stories with our community in the comments. We’d love to hear from you.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.

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