5 Ways to Spot a Toxic Girlfriend

Hey Optimist Minds!

Does your girlfriend tend to get upset with you quite frequently? Does it sometimes feel like she doesn’t respect you enough? 

Toxic relationships are characterised by an imbalance; one partner has more power and control over the other. For example, if the quality of time you share depends entirely on the moods and demands of your girlfriend, she might be toxic for you.

In this video, we’re going to outline five ways to spot a toxic girlfriend. You can use this information to understand the nature of your relationship better and to make it healthier. However, do not label or condemn anyone based on this video. Someone may not be suitable for you, but that doesn’t mean they are bad people.

Now, let’s begin.

Number One

Assess the quality of her communication.

Does your girlfriend act petty or childish when you fight? Is she constantly blaming you for things that go wrong?

Toxic communication is more about bringing the other person down than it is solution-oriented. By stonewalling or acting contemptuous, disagreements become nasty fights. A toxic girlfriend is likely to shift all the blame onto you and act defensive in conversations.

As a result, conflicts are never resolved. Instead, arguments are simply forgotten or brushed under the carpet with superficial attempts to make up.

Number Two

Check how honest she is with you.

Have you ever caught your girlfriend in a lie? But, then, did she completely deny or minimise what she did?

Trust is an integral part of any relationship, without which the bond can never be meaningful. Unfortunately, your trust gets broken every time you find out that your girlfriend lied to you. 

The lack of trust can make a toxic relationship even worse. That’s because, in reaction to your girlfriend’s dishonesty, you may become insecure, frustrated, or resentful. As a result, you might find yourself behaving in ways unlike you.

Number Three

Observe if she often gets extremely jealous.

When you’re talking to other females, does your girlfriend make a big deal out of it? Does she insist that there’s something fishy going on even though that’s far from the truth?

It’s ironic that toxic partners generally disrespect their better halves and fear losing them when others treat them well. If your girlfriend is toxic to you, she will get insecure whenever she thinks someone else may treat you better than she does.

Sometimes, jealousy can be because of projection. For example, it could be that she’s the one being unfaithful, but she’s lowering her guilt by believing you’re doing the same. Either way, too much jealousy in a relationship can turn things sour.

Number Four

Ask yourself, do you feel controlled?

Does your girlfriend try to micromanage you? Does she keep nagging about your shortcomings in demeaning ways?

No matter how much someone claims to love you, they don’t have the right to make you feel bad about yourself. A toxic girlfriend might try to tell you what to do, when to do it, and how to execute it.

When you don’t obey her blindly, she’ll wait for you to fail and then rub it in your face. Even if you do pay her heed, she’ll still manage to find something to complain about and insist that you change it.

It’s not unusual for toxic partners to use emotional blackmail or other forms of manipulation to control their counterparts.

Number Five

Notice if she gets vindictive.

Does your girlfriend keep a relationship scorecard? Does she do hurtful things out of revenge?

While conflicts within a relationship need to get resolved, punishment is not the way to do it. Healthy relationships feature mutual respect, but punishment gives one partner more authority than the other.

A toxic girlfriend might hurt you on purpose as payback for something you did unintentionally. She may even withhold intimacy or ignore you for a given period and expect things to go back to normal just because she’s not mad anymore.

Such behaviour doesn’t resolve the issue at hand and only creates an imbalanced power dynamic. If this becomes a pattern, the quality of your interactions will be based solely on her moods and desires.

Did the situations described here sound familiar to you? Do you think your girlfriend may be toxic for you? Let us know your thoughts in the comment section. We’d love to hear from you.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.

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