Hey Optimist Minds!
Is your relationship with your parents complicated? Do you find it hard to be yourself around them?
The way our parents interact with us as we’re growing up impacts how we look at ourselves, others, and the world. If their parenting deprives us of a healthy and nourishing environment, we grow up to develop various behavioural issues.
Toxic parents consistently behave in ways that cause children to feel scared, guilty, and obligated. In addition, they tend to be unavailable, self-absorbed, controlling, and manipulative. This video will describe five different types of toxic parents.
Keep in mind that the information shared here is only meant to help you reflect on whether your parents have been toxic for you. The types mentioned here are not official labels or diagnoses. So, only use this video to understand your situation better and to seek professional help.
Now, let’s begin.
The Neglecting Parent.
While growing up, did you spend hours unsupervised? Did your parent fail to show up for school events, special occasions, or when you were sick?
Parental neglect has a severe impact on children’s mental and physical health. Not only are the children unprotected from physical dangers, but they also develop various behavioural issues.
Research shows that neglect can lead to all sorts of problems like obesity, anxiety, depression, abuse, and juvenile delinquency. So evidently, just by being absent, parents can be toxic to their young ones.
The Helicopter Parent.
On the other extreme is the over-involved parent that hovers around their child, discouraging any autonomy. Generally, this parent acts out of self-centred motives that focus on their needs rather than the child.
Does your parent try to micromanage you? Do they seem like they don’t care about what truly makes you happy?
Studies have shown that this parenting style has an ill effect on the child’s well being. Unable to make their own choices and learn from their experiences, children of helicopter parents stay dependent and confused for most of their lives.
The Addict Parent.
Was your parent unavailable because they were frequently intoxicated? Did you have to take care of things like bills, food, or safety?
The children of parents dealing with addiction often have to act like the adult at home. Since the parent prioritises their emotional problems over their responsibilities, the child has to step up to ensure survival.
Maybe you had to take care of your parent because they weren’t conscious. You might have had to skip school or play because they needed you to nurse them. This type of toxic parenting robs you of your childhood.
The Abusive Parent.
When your parent was upset or angry, did they become violent? Did your parent touch you or your siblings inappropriately?
Physical and sexual abuse are terrible experiences that no child should have to go through. It’s more horrific when the abuse comes from the people responsible for your upbringing.
Being raised in abusive households has a detrimental effect on the child’s physical and mental health. This impact lasts even years after being removed from the location. Without the proper professional intervention, the abusive parent’s child may struggle with the aftermath of trauma for their entire life.
The Narcissistic Parent.
Perhaps there was never any direct physical violence in your home, but your parent was emotionally quite abusive. Did they seem controlling, demeaning, and manipulative? It could be that your parent was narcissistic.
Narcissists are highly self-absorbed and entitled people, incapable of feeling empathy. A narcissistic parent only sees their child as an extension of themselves.
If the child brings them pride and social approval, they show affection. Falling short of that, the narcissistic parent will ignore, mock, insult, or attack verbally. These are incredibly toxic parents, and their children struggle for decades in all aspects of life because of narcissistic abuse.
Did any of these descriptions remind you of your parents? Do you think you’ve been raised in a toxic environment? Do comment below and tell us what your story is. We’d love to hear from you.
A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.
Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.