Hey Optimist Minds!
Our mothers are ideally supposed to be warm and nurturing caregivers. Since our relationship with them is the first we form, it sets a precedence for all other relationships.
If your mom was kind and loving, you learned to trust the world as a safe place. But if your mom was a narcissist, you probably struggle with many aspects of your mental health even today.
A narcissist is highly self-centred, entitled, and lacks empathy. Unfortunately, none of these qualities makes good mothers.
This video will talk about different kinds of narcissistic mother-daughter relationships. However, it is not sufficient to diagnose anyone as only a licensed professional can do that. Therefore, only use this information for educational purposes.
Now, here are five types of narcissistic mother-daughter relationships.
The competing mother.
Did your mother seem jealous of your looks or achievements? Was she always trying to make herself look better than you?
Narcissists are generally quite envious of others, and they also want to be the subject of envy. As mothers, narcissists might develop the same attitude towards their daughters as they look like younger, fitter versions of themselves.
The mother may sabotage the daughter’s relationships with others to isolate her. Whenever someone compliments her daughter, she immediately steals credit. All the while, she ensures that her daughter’s self-esteem stays minimal.
The authoritarian mother.
Was your mother extremely controlling? Did she always manipulate you and your siblings to get her way?
Most narcissists tend to be dominating, but as mothers, they get socially accepted authority. Straight from birth, this type of narcissistic mother makes sure that her daughter never develops autonomy.
She is strict, punitive, and vindictive. If you don’t comply with her demands, she makes your life a living nightmare. This kind of relationship may also involve habits that enable the daughter’s dependency on the mother.
For example, she may never let you get a well-paying job so that you can’t move out.
The cruel mother.
As a child, did you have to endure unpredictable violence? Did your mother put you through horrible punishments because she was upset with you?
The cruel, narcissistic mother has zero empathy and doesn’t care how much she’s damaging her daughter’s psychological wellbeing. Instead, she puts her through extreme conditions simply out of rage.
In this relationship, you witness numerous threats and rejections. Your mother might abandon you in times of need just to teach you a lesson.
The exploitative mother.
Does your mother treat you like a product or investment? As a child, did you have to perform and deliver to meet your mother’s expenses?
When narcissists have children, they don’t see their kids as individuals. Instead, they only treat them like an extension of themselves. Thus, the narcissistic mother forces her daughter to fulfil the mother’s dreams.
In case the daughter is conventionally pretty, this kind of relationship makes her a cash cow. So she is expected to make use of her beauty to entice wealth.
The wounded mother.
In this relationship, usually, the mother is a vulnerable narcissist. She sees herself as being wronged by the world. Playing the victim allows her to deny her responsibilities.
She never takes accountability for her actions and always has someone else to blame, even if the accusation makes no sense. The wounded narcissistic mother acts like a dark cloud in the daughter’s life.
Any kind of positivity happening with the little girl gets tainted because the mother makes it all about herself and her victimhood.
Were you able to resonate with any of these relationships? Do you think your narcissistic mother fit one or more of these descriptions? Let us know your thoughts and stories in the comments.
A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.
Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.