5 Signs You Raised a Narcissist

Hey Optimist Minds!

There’s a lot of information online about narcissistic parents but not so much about narcissistic children. 

When we say children, we don’t mean kids and teenagers; their narcissism is just a developmental stage they’ll outgrow. We’re talking about adults who have finished their education and should be taking responsibility for themselves and their families.

Like typical narcissists, these children are extremely entitled, arrogant, self-centred, and lack empathy. It can be hard to see your offspring become so thoughtless. Understandably, many parents may find it easier to turn a blind eye than admit their children were raised wrong.

Research indicates that one of the causal factors of narcissism is how parents interact and behave in front of their children. Thus, an upbringing that fosters entitlement may have an impact.

For example, maybe you wanted your kids to have everything they wanted because your childhood was underprivileged. Though you intended to never let them feel disappointed, you inadvertently taught them to think they deserve to get whatever they like.

In addition to being entitled, narcissists have poor emotional development. Perhaps you were so focused on meeting their physical and intellectual needs that their emotional growth got neglected.

Most of the time, parents end up raising narcissists because they didn’t know any better. At other times, it’s because one or both parents were narcissistic or abusive too.

Regardless of the causes, it’s unimaginably difficult for parents to see their children become narcissists. You might spend years in confusion or denial before you recognise the signs. This video will talk about five signs you raised a narcissist.

Use this information for educational purposes alone and not to label or shame narcissists. Only a licensed mental health professional can make an official diagnosis.

Let’s begin.

Number One

They still expect your financial support.

Does your son or daughter want you to pay off their loans, buy them a house, car, or other expensive belongings?

In some cultures, parents feel obliged to meet their kids’ financial needs even when they’re in their thirties. But it’s wrong if the child feels entitled to this money and demands it.

Narcissistic children tend to misuse their parents’ savings and may even deceive them into selling their assets. 

Number Two

They’re often unkind to you.

Estranged children can at times be disrespectful and mean. But the narcissistic child mistreats their parents despite coming to them for favours.

Perhaps your child shows up for birthdays and holidays or whenever it’s convenient for them. But interactions with them are hardly ever pleasant or devoid of nasty exchanges.

Number Three

No matter how much you do for them, they still feel resentful.

You may have gone out of your way to serve your child, but they still hold a grudge about something that happened a long time ago. They don’t hesitate to bring up the past whenever they want to hurt you. Somehow, they always manage to portray themselves as a victim.

Number Four

You can’t rely on them for care and support.

It could be that you’ve spent the majority of your life taking care of your child’s needs and desires. They may be well into adulthood, and you still contribute whatever you can to their happiness. But this is a one-sided relationship. You can’t trust them to show up or be there for you when you need them.

Number Five

They manipulate you.

Narcissists are known to be controlling and exploitative. As your child, they might try to emotionally blackmail you into doing things you normally wouldn’t do. 

They probably make you feel guilty about not taking care of your own blood. Narcissistic children also lie and play with people’s feelings to influence their behaviour.

Did the signs we described remind you of your son or daughter? Do you suspect that they might be narcissistic? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.

Resources

• https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/9781118093108.ch16 
• https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev.clinpsy.121208.131215
• https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1987-14430-001
• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00223980.2016.1248807