5 Signs You Hate Your Child

By OptimistMinds
Page last updated: 01/09/2022 | Next review date: 01/09/2024

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The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter.  The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.


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Hey Optimist Minds!

Having children is not only a choice, but also a major responsibility. When you bring a new life into the world, you’re accountable for their healthy upbringing. This includes physical development, emotional nurturing, supervision, and guidance.

There’s no doubt that raising children is a full-time job. It takes consistency, discipline, and constant self-maintenance. That’s why it’s understandable if parents have moments when they dislike their kids.

Unfortunately, if parents don’t take care of themselves; their needs and mental wellbeing, this dislike could grow into something more resentful. It’s possible for stressed, unhappy, or unwell parents to feel like they hate their child.

When this happens, it’s a no-win situation for both the parent and child. One feels obligated to look after someone they don’t love and the other is stuck, dependent on someone who doesn’t love them.

In this video, we will describe five signs you hate your child. Recognising that you feel this way is imperative for the benefit of both of you. Once you acknowledge your hatred, you can take the necessary steps to rectify the situation.

We recommend consulting a licensed therapist to understand the reason why you feel this way. Therapy can also help you and your child repair the situation or make the most of it.

Now, let’s begin.

One

You’re always impatient with them.

Losing your temper on your child every now and then is not a problem. As humans, parents are allowed to have outbursts. It only becomes a problem when you’re constantly annoyed and impatient with your child. 

Perhaps it doesn’t take much for you to be upset with your son or daughter. Sometimes you may even get mad at them for nothing at all. Having such little patience for a young one reflects more on you than the child.

Two

You can’t find any strengths in them.

Every human being, no matter who they are, has at least one strength or talent. Children need their parents to identify what they’re good at to feel validated. How you see your kid influences his or her own self-image.

When you hate anyone, their flaws and drawbacks take centre stage and their advantages fade away from your vision. So, if you hate your child, it becomes very difficult for you to praise them for anything.

Three

Your pride matters more than their happiness.

It’s not easy for parents to admit that they hate their kids. Society doesn’t approve of it since hating children severely damages their personality. As a result, parents tend to rationalise any anger they feel or express.

You might justify to yourself saying that your kid did something to hurt your reputation or status and so they deserve your rage. Repeating that over and over in your head makes it easier for you to see them suffer. 

But if you prioritise your pride over your child’s happiness, you probably hate them and struggle to admit it.

Four

You detest spending time with them.

Kids need to share quality time with their parents on a daily basis for healthy development. Unfortunately, a lot of them don’t get enough of it. Sometimes it’s because the parent is too busy or far away. 

But it could also be that the parent loathes being around their kid. This is an incredibly sad reality to accept for the child and a clear indicator of the parent’s hatred.

Five

You can’t separate the child from the bad behaviour.

If your kid is a bit of a trouble-maker, it’s possible that each time they misbehave, your hate for them increases. Maybe they keep getting on your nerves with every screw up and you’re fed up with them.

When it gets to that stage, many parents struggle to see the child as a whole individual, capable of a lot more than being a miscreant. Instead, you might start believing that your child will never change.

Sadly, that’s not true because children will behave however they are moulded. And if that’s hard for you to believe, you might be blinded by hate.

Were you able to relate to any of the signs we described here? Do you think it’s possible that you hate your child? If so, instead of judging yourself for it, it’s better to understand why. Who knows, maybe your hate is just a superficial feeling that’s covering some kind of pain or suffering deep inside you.

Let us know in the comments if you found this video helpful. A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.

Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.

References

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