Hey Optimist Minds!
Marriage isn’t always effortless or sunshine and rainbows. Most committed relationships take a lot of hard work. But it’s important to understand that this hard work needs to come from both parties. Unfortunately, when you’re married to a narcissist, you tend to feel like all the effort is coming from your end.
Narcissists are conceited people who feel entitled. Their nature makes them disagreeable and unempathetic. A husband with narcissistic traits makes it very challenging for their spouse to get by.
If you’re wondering how to know whether your husband is a narcissist, this video can help. We will describe thirteen signs of a narcissistic husband so that you can better understand why your marriage isn’t working.
Bear in mind that this information is only for educational purposes and cannot be used to diagnose or demean narcissists.
Now, let’s begin.
He wants everything to be according to his preference.
Couples normally spend time doing what both partners enjoy doing. However, the narcissistic husband would never allow that. How you spend your time, what movies you watch, where you eat, what you buy is always based on his choices. He’ll make you go to the events of your liking alone, but your company is mandatory for anything he wants to attend.
He tries to control how you look.
A narcissistic husband wants other men to be jealous of his partner. So, he will insist on you wearing certain clothes, having your hair and nails done, gaining or losing weight, and giving in to all his unreasonable demands of your appearance. He might also make frequent attacks, taunts, and jokes about your looks to make you conform.
He makes fun of you in front of others.
Sometimes, it feels like he enjoys embarrassing you when you have an audience. He may openly criticise or be sarcastic when you’re entertaining guests. If you have children, he might encourage them to disrespect you. This frequently happens if he is envious of your children’s affection for you.
He is jealous and insecure about other men.
A narcissistic husband will never make you feel seen or heard, but he hates the idea of someone else doing it to you as well. He might read too much into conversations, glances, or non-verbal exchanges, convinced that the other man is coveting you.
If you are in contact with another guy, he will interrogate you and look for things to misinterpret. He might even go as far as asking you to cut off contact with all men.
He cannot take feedback from you.
On the one hand, he’ll incessantly tell you about what you need to do to be a better wife. But in case you have any suggestions for him, you’ll face a lot of pushback. He’ll take it the wrong way, and the conversation will turn into a heated argument that makes you feel guilty.
He can’t stand to see your success.
Some narcissistic husbands try to control and sabotage their spouse’s careers. He may make it challenging for you to manage all your responsibilities so that you get into trouble. Alternatively, he could show his resentment with nasty taunts that minimise your role at work. Finally, he makes it obvious that he doesn’t like you moving ahead in your professional life.
He believes he deserves to have many romantic partners.
Infidelity is a common occurrence in narcissistic relationships. This is generally seen more with grandiose narcissism than the vulnerable kind. A narcissistic husband feels entitled to have multiple sexual relationships. So, if you try to confront him about it, he will ridicule you for expecting monogamy. He might say something like, “as if you’re enough to keep me satisfied.”
He treats you and your kids as extensions of himself.
Narcissistic husbands don’t see their family members as individuals who have their own needs and desires. Such a man will try to impose his dreams and beliefs onto his dependents. It’s almost as if he doesn’t care about what makes you happy. All he wants is for you all to obey him and make him proud.
He ignores you when you’re crying or upset.
It is typical for narcissists to lack empathy and have only a superficial understanding of it. So if you are hurt in front of him, he’ll pretend like it’s not a big deal, or he will have a disproportionate, perfunctory reaction. The latter tends to happen when people are watching him.
He’s a terrible listener.
A successful marriage requires both partners to have open and honest communication. Sadly, that’s impossible if your husband is a narcissist. So conversations will usually be one-sided where he’s doing the talking, and you’re expected to agree.
The rare times that you do speak might involve hours of explaining but in vain. You’ll feel like you can never get him to see your point of view.
He seems disgusted with you.
Since a narcissistic husband is so hard to please, you may at times feel like he hates you. Perhaps he never notices any effort you put in to spark intimacy. Or he just simply criticises it. You keep thinking that if I can just get it right, I’ll win him over. But that moment never arrives.
When he helps around the house, he expects high praise.
This is a trait seen more often in vulnerable narcissists. Suppose this husband does a couple of chores. He’ll make it seem like him doing it is more significant than if you were doing it because it’s more challenging for him. If he does something that’s conventionally the wife’s duty, like picking up after the baby, he’ll portray himself as a hero for getting his hands dirty.
He thinks it’s your job to take care of his needs and demands.
Along with the deep-rooted sense of entitlement in narcissistic husbands is the belief that it’s his spouse’s duty to keep him happy at all times. As a result, he won’t see you as a person with your own life and dreams. Instead, he’ll give you a tough time for not making him your number one priority. This can also imply that you prioritise him over your children.
Does your husband’s behaviour match any of the signs we described? Are you suspecting that you married a narcissist? If so, we recommend you consult a mental health professional to learn what you can do about it.
Let us know in the comments if you think this video helped you. A link for further reading and the studies & references used in the making of this video are mentioned in the description below.
Thanks for visiting optimist minds, take care. Until next time.